Post # 16
I had a friend who a few years ago was in the same predicament. Here’s how she handled it (just throwing it out there, it’s not something that works for everyone).
She had an early moring wedding (it was catholic, so lasted about an hour and a half by the time everyone got out of there), there was a short break while the bridal party took some pictures, then there was a lunch/brunch for everyone. That part of the day was JUST food and speeches and lasted a few hours.
Then there was another short break and they switched venues- they had reseved a rather large uptairs room at a local bar/restaruant. Thats where they had a DJ and some heavy appitizers (and dessert later) and more of a “party” atmosphere. The party did not go SUPER late into the night, and a few older guests were lost between lunch and the evening reception, but otherwise it worked really well (I thought) and was a fun day and everyone seemed happy.
Post # 17
If you absolutely want your ceremony at that church, have a brunch reception. If you absolutely want an evening party reception, find a new ceremony venue.
Post # 18
Yeah you’d have to be my sister for me to show up to the ceremony if you have it at 9AM and then wait more than an hour to start the reception. 90% of your guests will show up for reception only.
Post # 19
Brunch receptions are not lame. People LOVE brunch. I know you could rock out some mimosas and awesome small plates. I’d love to go to one, so I vote for “not lame, totally awesome, and I get the rest of the night to myself.”
If I were your guest, I would attend the ceremony but HATE any sort of gap. Gaps are not fun, please avoid doing them. The comfort of your guests are key – if it weren’t, you’d just get married at the courthouse, right? It’s your day and of course you can do what you want, but if you provide a huge gap, you will see a huge surge in declines. An early ceremony might prompt a higher decline rate, too. Just try to keep that in mind.
Find a new church/etc. that can do your ceremony later in the day or do the brunch reception. You can still do a dance atmosphere. I don’t see why not. I’d love dancing with a few mimosas and some good music.
Post # 20
From the Catholic gap perspective, which I have ranted and raved about on these boards before, gaps are perfectly normal and accepted in many cases, because the alternate options are a ceremony with light refreshments/cake and and people complaining there’s no meal; or foresaking your religious ceremony so your guests don’t have to entertain themselves for a few hours.
That said, we’re talking about gaps that are a max 6 hours, and the earliest ceremony I’ve been to started at 11 am. So we’re taking on an extra two hours for yours… And that’s pushing it.
As an aside, I personally find it incredibly rude that someone would skip a ceremony and go to the reception instead (exceptions allowed in rare circumstances). My opinion is that if you can only attend one, choose the ceremony. Else it just makes you out to be that person coming for a free meal.
Post # 21
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
If you were anything more distant than a sibling to me, I would completely skip the ceremony and go to the reception only. I can’t stand gaps. If i’m not from there… what on earth am i supposed to do? sit around in a dress in my hotel room for 6 hours?
Post # 22
This is a bad idea, which PPs have already outlined really well.
Even beyond comfort of your guests, how are YOU planning on going from 5am straight through the day for late-night partying? Even if you think you can push through, is that how you want to celebrate your wedding?
Post # 23
I would be annoyed with a 9am wedding, even more annoyed if I had to travel to get there because i’d have to take at least a half day off on Friday or else get in late Friday night and not get any sleep before your wedding. If I knew there was a 4-6 hour gap between ceremony and reception, I’d skip the event. It just sounds painful and annoying to me. And if I didn’t know about the gap until I got to your wedding, I’d skip the reception and be really crabby for the rest of the night. If you must have your ceremony at the church, then make it a private ceremony and make it clear to the guests that they are of course welcome but very much NOT expected to attend, due to the inconvenience of it all. If I recieved an invite like that, I would not be upset or angry and I would think you were being thoughtful to invite me to the party without the expectation of my attending the ceremony. And I’d actually turn up at your church if I was already awake and moving around at that hour of the morning.
Post # 24
Have you tried searching for posts with the phrase “Catholic gap” here? This is not uncommon for the bees getting married in Catholic churches that prefer evening receptions.
Post # 25
Thanks, everyone. We’ve been going round and round about this, so it’s good having a census of opinon.
Post # 26
this was going to be my suggestion as well – I’ve seen this work well. If you’re set on the 9am church (and that seems REALLY REALLY early for a wedding) then I think you need to have a lunch/brunch reception.
I would find Friday evening with no gap better than 9am with a big gap.
My hair appointment was at 9am for my 5:30 wedding, I can’t imagine what time we would have had to start for a 9am wedding.
Post # 27
I’m Catholic, so I’m used to a sometimes large gap in the day. Unfortunately, when we’re talking about an early ceremony plus a longer gap I generaly see only the immediate family and people who are local to the venue come to the ceremony. I’m talking, I’ve been to weddings where the morning ceremony had a couple dozen people and the afternoon reception had hundreds. I imagine that is even more likely if the reception isn’t until the evening.
Your wedding is more than two years away… I have to think a better time slot will open up, hopefully before you have to book the reception stuff.
Post # 28
Lol, actually it’s about 14 months 🙂
Post # 29
“My hair appointment was at 9am for my 5:30 wedding, I can’t imagine what time we would have had to start for a 9am wedding.”
This too! Will you even be able to find a florist who will deliver your flowers by 6 or 7am, or hairstylist or makeup person who will be able to show up at like 5 or 6am?
Even if you choose to do all of that yourself (either by choice or because no one can come that early), you will have to be up SO early. As will your family and bridal party. That’s a lot of people to wrangle into waking up at 5.
Post # 30
I’d like something like this. I was thinking maybe we could get a farm for a reception venue that let us have the run of the place all day. We could focus the meal at brunch with all the typical wedding stuff following (dances, cake cutting, pictures…) which I think we could stretch til 2 or 3. Those from far away would be free to leave. Then pack in other activities like exploring the farm, games, photo booths, that are low-key. Serve some snacks around dinnertime because I’d think most people would still be stuffed from brunch. And do more clubbing music/booze after, finishing up around 7?
I was trying to figure out how to lengthen the day without effectively paying for two receptions.