Post # 1
Im hoping this doesn’t come off too dramatic, but I’m struggling hard with the baby fever right now. We’ve been married seven months and had agreed long before the wedding to wait “at least a few months” before trying. We had some traveling to do and wanted to make sure we had some couples only time. After the wedding, I crunched our finance numbers and September would be the “ideal” first month for us to start trying (savings/debt payoff-wise). We also have a trip planned for early September.
I know in my head that there’s a reason we came up with September.. financially, it makes sense. Due date wise (earliest/ if we conceived first try) would work best with our schedules with things coming up this winter/spring rather than be a scheduling burden. It gives us a few more months of strictly “us” time at the very least.
Any other bees currently in this situation? Or have been? What worked to help ease your mind/distract you? It’s an on-going every day mental battle with myself. I’m off BCP, started tracking periods in FF, but telling myself “just wait, it’s only X more months” is getting seriously old.
Advice appreciated! Thanks for letting me vent X
Post # 2
Why wait! you only live once! If your ready go for it xx
Post # 3
weddingbee100 : I’m wrestling so hard with this! On one hand, it’s only 4 months, not 14 months, or 4 years. Realistically, not that long of a wait. Also, 4 months is when financially we have more boxes ticked in our favor, and it screws with my schedule/other obligations the least (hypothetically). But gaaaaah do I ever just want to start trying! Thank you for your reply 🙂
Post # 4
I have to second the advice to go for it if you’re both ready.
If you still plan to wait, however, fill your time with things that you won’t be able to do once you’re either pregnant or parent to a newborn. Enjoy some wine, go to the movies, take weekend trips (if that’s an option-never has been for us since we don’t have weekends off together), go for a couple’s massage, be free to come and go as you please! I totally understand the wait being hard- we just started TTC our second and we had a timeline in mind. Waiting was hard but we have a toddler to distract us. Before he came along, we just enjoyed being us, alone, as much as we could. If you do still wait a few months, as precious as parenthood is, cherish your time together and make the most of it! Best of luck with everything.
Post # 5
I say wait. There’s a reason you guys settled on September. It’s only 4 months away and is going to come quicker than you expect. Just enjoy your time together and your upcoming trip. Life truly changes with a little one (s) just enjoy the season you’re in for right now!
Post # 6
Just go for it. You have no idea how long it will actually take to get pregnant.
Post # 7
panda_bear3 : I hear ya, bee. We are also waiting to TTC because of a career/financial issue… it’s probably not far off, but I’ve definitely been struggling with the wait. I’ve created my own little “shut it up pact” for TTC because I don’t want to pressure my hubby, but I’ve been secretly devouring the TTC/babies boards on here ;). I don’t know if all the reading helps or hurts my baby fever – perhaps I should stop reading/researching until we can start trying just for my own peace of mind. I’ve been off of BC for a while now because I hated the side effects, so I’ve just been tracking my cycles and getting to know my own fertility. I also have a few trips planned to fill the gap. I’ll be following this thread to see if anyone has any great distraction ideas!
Post # 8
I wish we were only waiting 4 more months! We’ve decided August 2018 is the soonest we would want to try TTC. I might be able to convince him to start trying in July once we are closer. I definitely gets waves of baby fever but we do have good reasons for waiting until 2018 and one of them is that he’s not ready yet. I do have a secret Pinterest board full of baby things, which probably doesn’t help but it is fun!
When baby fever hits me really badly, I try to focus on all our big pre-baby stuff like moving to our new apartment, planning our trip to Hawaii next year (one of the reasons we are waiting), planning camping trips, and other stuff.
Post # 9
You have to make sure financially you can afford to actually care for the child right? So if you decided on September there is a reason why.
Dh & I have been married almost a year and we decided to start trying back in October of last year. With unexpected expenses coming up & an unstable home environment we stopped and after dealing with all of that we have finally started trying in March.
I think you have to go for it when you are both ready; but you also need to know financially you can afford it.
If financially it’s not going to make a difference than start now, besides like other PP’s have said you don’t know how long it will take for you to get pregnant.
Post # 10
I’m one of those that say why wait? We were just like you, had a set month for different reasons. Then one day Darling Husband asked me to just go ahead and start trying about 5 months early. I freaked out for a few seconds and then realized waiting for an arbitrary time frame was stupid and if we got pregnant that month we would be more than ok. Hopefully your ttc journey is easier but it took us 11 months to conceive and during that time I wished every day that we started trying earlier. But really now I have no regrets as a feel my little boy kicking inside of me.
Life does not go according to plan, why not give yourself a chance to have what you want a little sooner.
But to your question on how to fight baby fever, which I was obviously not super good at lol, was to just avoid all things baby when I could. And when I saw babies in public I tried to focus on how much life would change and focus on the good in my life at that moment. Like being out on a date with Darling Husband and not having to worry about a little one at home.
Post # 11
mo711 : I am there now, wishing we had tried earlier because things will never be perfect. Hoping for that positive this month.
Post # 12
panda_bear3 : Darling Husband and I had to wait to TTC due to my work… it was too dangerous with the chemicals I was around. I actually started taking prenatal vitamins, cutting caffeine, and getting my diet together about 4 months before we started trying. A workout plan could help too! That way, you’re still prepping to TTC, but you’re so busy getting your body the best it could be 😉
FWIW, I started all of this in August last year, we were planning on starting to TTC in March 2017 because I didn’t want to be 8 months pregnant for a vacation we wanted to take in September, but we started TTC around the new year because I realized I would want to use the vacation days for maternity leave. 5 months later, we’re still not pregnant, and I’m using vacation days anyways, because I would still be able to save up enough for maternity leave even if we got pregnant this cycle.
Post # 13
railroaderwifeyxo : Good luck! It’s so hard, nothing anyone says will make it easier. Just keep looking forward to the day you get to hold your little one. We got lucky and didn’t need any interventions other than acupuncture to regulate my cycle. I will cross my fingers and toes for you.
Post # 14
railroaderwifeyxo : Definitely! I am one of those obsessive number-crunching people,so I’ve triple checked finances re: adding a baby to our lives, and if I got a BFP tomorrow, we’d be fine. It’s more of, we have a savings plan in place to help beef up our current savings, as well as saving for a new car that I’ll probably need in the next year, as well as pay down some more of our student loan debt. In no way will be completely wipe it out in the next 4 months, but we can make some progress.
SweetyBee : Glad to know I’m not alone in stalking these boards lol. My pinterest board isn’t too crazy right now, but I can’t say I don’t have some nursery ideas going on there!
hikingbride : knpswp : Kay1126 : Definitely good reminders to cherish our “us” time right now. And we do definitely have things to look forward to! We’ve got a trip to NYC, and California in the works for August / September, doing some projects at our house, and just enjoying time together when we can get it. That for sure will change once baby comes, because I’m going to change my hours at work so that either Darling Husband or I is always home, which will pretty much mean 0 full days off together at least for a couple of years.
SLOBee : SeaOfLove : mo711 : Great points about not knowing how long it could take. For a while, I was convinced it’ll take us years, I probably have some fertility issues, cuz that would just be my luck, on BC and trying to prevent pregnancy half my life and now that I want to, it’ll be hard. But I also know it could happen right away, and that tiny part of my brain is holding me back. Ultimately, no 4 months isn’t all that far off, and it wouldn’t be a huge barrier to our plans, more of an inconvenience. But I guess that’s life with kids – not everything is on your terms or convenient!
Thanks bees, there are lots of great points to consider. Will probably chat with Darling Husband tonight and see where he’s at mentally, although he’s more of a go with whatever I want kind of guy so I can see this not helping me decide, lol.
Post # 15
Everyone always wants that perfect job or a certain amount of money to have a family but there will never be a “right time”. life is more fun when you don’t plan!