Easing the baby fever/TTC waiting

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
6613 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

panda_bear3 :  To be honest, I started a new job in October, so it kind of helped us to “wait” so I can get FMLA.  However, we still started a bit earlier than my 3-month mark at my job (so I would be one year before the baby was born), and just told ourselves that we would find a way to make it work if we got pregnant our first shot.  You will always make it work if it happens.  Good luck with the chat with your Darling Husband <3

Post # 18
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

panda_bear3 :  I am in the wait until you at least are truly ready if you get pregnant on the first try camp. If you decided September for very good reasons (i.e., debt, finances, career), then I would stick with it.

Personally, we waited 3.5 years after marriage to start TTC because of careers/finances. It was very difficult at times, but I don’t regret it now. I am almost 15 weeks pregnant and we started TTC in October 2016. We decided that time because DH’s loans would be paid off in November 2016. I actually got pregnant that month, but it was a chemical pregnancy. I got pregnant again 5 months later. 

Now, we are not worried about finances because we saved up 6 months of living expenses, paid off debts and have stablized our careers. Are things perfect? Absolutely not. But are we prepared? Absolutely. 

I have friends that say, “It’s so much more fun to not plan and just live life. You will figure it out.” That seems all fine and dandy, until they are sadly crying over the $5,000 insurance bill from birth, $1k a month in child care and other expenses. 

So, as long as you have things figured out to prepare as best as possible, I would say go for it. But if September would be better to prepare, I would suggest waiting. You will thank yourself later for it.

Post # 19
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee

panda_bear3 :  Just hopping in here to say I understand where you’re coming from! We had originally said we’d start trying as soon as we closed on a house, and that was easier to wait for before we had a closing date! At this point, we’re a month away and it feels like torture to wait. I try to convince my husband to just start trying now every few days. 🙂

But, I also know we have good reasons to wait until then so in the meantime, I’m just trying to crank through a pre-baby bucket list I created: brewery tours, cocktail bars I’ve been wanting to try, weekend getaways, etc. It’s helped to have some things to get excited about that aren’t babies and TTC.

Post # 20
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

panda_bear3 :  We, too, had planned on beginning to TTC in September (after being married for a year). Welp, in February I found out I was pregnant and we are expecting a little boy in November 🙂 if you are ready, what’s the point in waiting? 

Post # 21
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Get on with it 😉 – 9 Months is AGES. Honestly. Im on week 21 and I wish I had started trying 6 months earlier. You forget your pregnant for almost a year. Thats plenty of time for “the two of you” xx

Post # 22
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We were planning on TTC, but right when we got to the time to begin we decided to push it off a year.  The main reason were financial and practical- we just moved to a new state, were in the process of buying a fixer upper we planned to fix ourselves, and both had new jobs.  Instead of dwelling on the waiting part, we made the most of having this time together because we knew it was special and would never be that way again.  We went on a lot of dates, went out at nights, and fulfilled one of my husband’s dreams since forever of traveling to Europe.  We both set a lot of personal goals in our fields, and made efforts to get really in shape for TTC and for me being pregnant.  We planned the Europe trip for the end of our waiting period.  We enjoyed all the food and wine we wanted, and started TTC right when we got back.  It was such a special trip- and couldn’t never be replicated once we have kids.  With kids, it will be a different trip- either we will take them, or have to worrying about them at home, or will be much older after they have grown up and we wouldn’t be able to do most of the things we did in Europe.  It took us 5 months to conceive, and while it was longer than we hoped for or expected, we couldn’t be more excited about our first child.  We are definitely anxious with the more waiting until her due date, but in retrospect, waiting was the best thing we had even done.  Our lives are much more stable, our home is great and we are settled into it, we both are in positions at work where we can manage to take time off for the birth without losing momentum at work, and we have so many memories that we will remember forever.   

My advice- focus on the special time, because once you have kids everything will be different.  Even just expecting everything is different because everything revolves around planning for her arrival.  A year in retrospect is a short amount of time- and absolutely flew by!!  Enjoy!!

Post # 23
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

That seems so soon to me, but I’m sure the struggle is real! The absolute earliest we would even start to try would be the beginning of next year, although I’m sure when that time starts to roll around I will get even more anxious, since it’s not something you can count on timing exactly anyway. And it’s not that we expect to be in that much better of a place for it then, the timing will never be perfect, but it’s a timeline Darling Husband and I agreed to that we are both happy (enough) with.

I’ve been married going on 2 years, we’ve done a lot of traveling and have more planned. Just keeping busy together planning fun outings and trips and stuff works for me. It’s just in my down time when I have too much time to think about it that I feel like I’m going crazy waiting. Like when I have nothing to do at work and I end up just haunting these boards and other TTC related stuff online (on the plus side I guess I’ll be ready for anything when the time comes). Although I’m sure not in as much of a rush when I’m at home doing chores – too easy to think about how much more laundry/dishes/cooking/cleaning I would have to do if I actually did have kids lol.

The worst is a few times recently where I’ve had older people ask if we were EVER going to have kids. Sure we’ve been married a while and together going on 12 years (got together young) and I’m 29, I know I’m not getting younger but I think I still have time. It definitley makes me start to question our decision to wait a bit more, am I getting too old already? And I also don’t know if this makes me more or less anxious, but I have a sister close in age who from what I hear has been trying unsuccessfully for a while. She was my excuse for a while (“oh Sister X is gonna be first!”) but now on the one hand I worry I could end up in the same situation, and on the other kinda worried that even with our delayed timeline it could happen to me first and make her feel awful.

Good luck with figuring things out (for anybody on here in a similar situation), it seems for most people things work out just fine no matter what, even if not perfectly. I also try to remind myself that even though it seemed like things such as my wedding day couldn’t get here soon enough (we had a 2+ year engagement), now looking back it seems like that time flew by in a blur.

Post # 24
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee

I am in the same boat as you. We agreed to wait till September but I just can’t wait!  But then I read that you really should take folic acid 3 months before you get pregnant. I also started thinking about really getting my body ready for pregnancy i.e. losing weight and eating healthier. Those things take time. Thinking about it has really calmed me down. Today I started my first pack of pre-pregnancy vitamins. This makes it feel more real. Although September is far away I have actually started the journey today 🙂 

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