Post # 1
A couple of weeks ago, my parents asked if FI and I would like to join them for Easter Sunday supper. Awesome- we could both make it and commited to spend the day with my family. In the past we have always spent Easter Sunday with his family because FSS was around and we could do the Easter egg hunt with him; This year, FSS is on the other side of the country with his mom and stepdad, so we figured this time around it would be a good idea to finally have dinner with my family.
Fast forward to this past Sunday, and FMIL tells (not asks, tells) us that they are having Easter Sunday supper and want us there for ham and veggies. FI told her that we already had plans to be me my family and she got really miffed about it and wouldn’t talk to us for the rest of the night.
Yesterday, FI tells me that the FILs new plan is to have Easter dinner on Friday, and now I don’t know what to do. I’m Catholic, so Good Friday means no meat for me, and FILs are planning to have ham dinner. I feel like this leaves me with three options- have dinner with FILs and avoid the ham (which I worry might upset them), opt out of their dinner and instead have fish with my family (which might make me seem like a total bitch), or to break with my religious tradition and just eat the meat (which kind of sucks- every year I have always been able to abstain from meat).
I’m at a loss of what to do. What would you do in this situation? What should I do?
Post # 2
I would just set up a schedule where you alternate every other year. It’s what DH and I have found to be the most fair to all families involved. If your ILs insist on having Easter dinner on Good Friday, then just avoid the meat. If it upsets them, explain why you do so. If they are celebrating Easter, chances are they’ll understand your religious reasons for not having meat on that particular day.
Post # 3
I’d go and avoid the meat. Let them know ahead of time about the restriction, but that you don’t need any accommodation and will eat the vegetables provided. Say that any other day, you’d love to have their delicious ham. If she gets miffed about that, let her be miffed.
Post # 4
Papillion: I think you are over complicating things. Just go and have your FI mention to his mum that you wonr be eating the meat due to it being Good Friday. It really isn’t that complicated to figure out, unless of course the real reason is you don’t want to spend the holiday with them at all.
Post # 5
I agree with PP about alternating holidays, its the easiest and fairest thing to do in the end for both families.
However, given this situation I would go to the FILs on Good Friday but have them know in advance that you cannot eat meat on Fridays, if anything have your FI tell them. I am guessing they are Christian, but not Catholic so they are allowed to eat meat on Friday’s during lent? People are normally pretty understanding with religious practices, so for them to be upset about you eating meat would be very unfair.