(Closed) Ebay Is Ruining My Relationship

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would make him send it back and get the money back. If he knows tons about computers then he should be able to buy the parts and build a pretty great computer for about 900$ish

Post # 5
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MrsAu:  Exactly! It isn’t very hard to build a computer. If he really does know as much as he thinks he does, he should be able to do that.

Post # 5
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

1 in the hand is better than 2 in the bush! Tell him that if he gets that computer and he can’t fix it then that’s what he’s stuck with. It’s worth a little more money to get a legit computer!

Post # 7
344 posts
Helper bee

IMO, eBay is just the symptom here….there are some underlying issues that need to be addressed. His impulsiveness, not reading all the details, trust, etc…

Money really is a big issue in marriage and the couple needs to be on the same page.

You are not alone in your feelings though, I would feel the same way.

Post # 9
344 posts
Helper bee

How old is he and how long have you been together?

Is he stable with his work, paying bills, responsibilities etc?

Post # 10
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@aliavenue: Are you sure he knows a lot about computers? A lot of people I know wouldn’t buy a computer from eBay… because they know a lot about computers. Computers in the stores are WAAAAAY cheap now compared to before so it’s really hard to justify a second hand purchase and repairing it unless you’ve got way killer specs or you’re on an insanely low budget.  Repairing a computer often ends up costing just about the same or more than buying a new computer. Is this computer a laptop or desktop? If it’s a laptop then it’ll be harder to repair. Is the overheating caused by a bad fan? bad wiring? bad motherboard? Depending on the model and how old it is, getting replacement parts could get costly. Not to mention, if your computer overheats a lot then it’s as good as a door stop.

I would personally take the refund since the seller offered it and try to find another amazing deal with a more accurate listing and trusted seller.

Also, I don’t want to be a downer but this needs to be addressed A.S.A.P. since the #1 cause of divorce is money issues. The impulsiveness may be related to one or more things. If you don’t know where to start then I suggest seeking pre-marital/relationship counseling with a professional and get things out there. Maybe you’ll discover what’s up if he’s willing.

Post # 13
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ebay is as addictive as drugs or gambling to some people – my ex included! He was CONSTANTLY “checking his auctions” and purchasing things we certainly didn’t need and usually couldn’t afford. 

It’s the worst of both worlds – a shopping addiction and an internet addiction all rolled into one. Maybe he has a real problem and could use some help. Good luck!

Post # 14
344 posts
Helper bee

Well, he is not young and you have been together a long time…..so

He most likely is the way he is and marriage will not change him. You may need to do some soul searching and see if this is something you can live with.

Your comment about feeling like he is a teenager speaks volumes…you certainly don’t want to feel like he is your child. I know people in marriages like this and it’s not good. He needs to be a MAN.

Best wishes to you….I am sorry you are going through this.

Post # 15
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Building your own computer from scratch is both simple and cheap. I don’t know what kind of deal he thinks he’s getting on eBay, but unless this computer is, like, $100, it is very, VERY unlikely that it is worthwhile. As a previous poster mentioned, you can build yourself an amazing computer for about $900. You can build yourself a fairly decent computer for about half that. If he needs a computer with “killer specs,” he must be a gamer? If he only uses his computer for eBay and youtube, a cheaper computer is good enough. I think your fiance is out of line and his impulsive, childish behavior may end up hurting you if he won’t take the refund. That’s incredibly unfair to you and he should be more considerate.

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