(Closed) Education Gap between you and your SO?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I dated a guy I wasn’t matched well with, education wise. It wasn’t even that he was uneducated (i’ve met a lot of stupid people in engineering, lol), it’s that he was dumb as a rock so often it drove me INSANE.

Intelligence+education don’t always go hand in hand, but there is something to it. Often it’s how you perceive the other person. My husband and I are both engineers, though. In my opinion, you get more opportunities because you are available. If he wants them, he can go get them, too. Good things come from hard work. Maybe your husband will find something he enjoys enough to actually go to school for. Until then, it sounds like he’s not being an ambitious sack of crap, though =]

Post # 4
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

There is an educational difference between my Fiance and myself.  He has his associates degree and is working on finishing his bachelor’s degree in Computer Information Systems.  I am finishing up a Doctor of Pharmacy program and am planning on pursuing at least a Master’s of Public Health degree.  I will make at least 2x’s what he does when we graduate.  He doesn’t particularly like school at all, but I really enjoy learning and have thought about teaching at a graduate level on day.

I am really fine with our different backgrounds.  We had very different strengths and weaknesses that we bring to our relationship and we really compliment each other.  

Edit: I meant to add – my Fiance is smart but he’s very practical – theoretical academic work is not his forte.  He’s definitely good at what he does though!

Post # 5
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My fiance has his master’s and I have a doctorate. It works out well since I can talk to him about anything and he understands it. We also have similar vocabulary and I love love love that I can talk to him about my work.

My first husband didn’t graduate high school and, while he tried really hard, he was never fully able to understand why I liked school so much or what I was doing there. It made it difficult.

Post # 6
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

he has a bachelors in fianance and i have a masters in public health. it works well for us actually, we may have different “levels” but in completely different fields, so we teach each other.

he does frequently call me a “nerd” when i quote studies, but i consider it an endearing pet name like “honey” or “baby” πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I have my Bachelor’s — pursuing my Master’s in a few years.  Fiance made it through 1 week of college classes and dropped out.  He makes 2x what I do – and likes to rub it in!  I graduated w/ $50k in student loans that I am still paying down….

Post # 8
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

My Fiance has less of an education than I do. However, he still earns about double what I will (once I get a nursing job) and he is extremely intelligent. I’ve dated guys with bachelors and masters degrees, and he is more intelligent than nearly all of them. I know quite a few people who literally skated through college doing little to no actual work and have a degree, but can’t hold down a decent job or a conversation, for that matter. So in other words, no, it isn’t an issue for us. πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think a lot of you are well-matched, education-wise. when the OP said gap, i thought of things like “college degree versus no degree” or “engineer versus mechanic” type large gaps–you know, totally 180` opposite spectras. I think i’d have a hard time if my conversations always went over DH’s head–it’s fun to talk nerd lol. BS and MS gaps are super common nowadays. I had a friend who has a BS in engineering and she dated a guy who ran a bakery. That was a different match up! Mmm eclairs =]

Post # 10
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Right now, my bf is working toward a degree in chemical engineering and I haven’t taken any college classes at all. I was homeschooled and very sheltered so after I left home I took a year off to get my life together and then family issues kept me from pursuing higher education for two more years. I’ve been working most of that time. I consider myself an intelligent person, but I don’t see the point in going to college just to go to college if I’m not really interested in what I’m there for. I wanted to study interior design but the only program close to me was cancelled. My bf tries to encourage me to get a degree if that’s what I want but he’s made it clear he supports whatever decision I make. I have times when I start to feel inferior to him but I remind myself a person’s worth isn’t determined by a college degree and I know that I’m intelligent enough to make it in college if I decide it’s right for me.

Post # 11
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

We both have our bachelor’s, though mine is in Art and his is a BS in Business Administration. His has been infinitely more useful in his career, but I would say we both were very happy with what we chose and are on the same level academically. We each have our strengths and weaknesses though, but fortunately for us my strengths are his weaknesses, and vice versa. 

Post # 12
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I have a bachelors degree. Darling Husband has a few certificates at different levels. He is definitely smart enough to achieve whatever he wants when it comes to studying, but his father pushed him really hard in school and I think it made him hate it. I am hoping to do some post graduate study at some point but I don’t think he will ever do anything unless he has to (he works in IT but is entirely self taught – I have pointed out that it might help to get a qualification but for now he’s happy with the way things are). It used to bother me sometimes in the beginning but now I understand him a lot better and I don’t think about it much. If he was dumb I wouldn’t be married to him πŸ™‚

ETA: As a *general* trend (VERY general, please no one jump down my throat), women tend to marry up the food chain rather than down, while men do the opposite (which is why you see more male CEOs married to the secretary). So we might not see many bees going against this trend, but I’d be really interested to hear from people in such a situation πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have my bachelor’s, and Fiance is working toward his master’s/doctorate.  He’s so smart!  But luckily we have similar senses of humor and interests (outside his degrees ^^; engineering is hard!), and he’s not into flaunting his intelligence, so it has been fine for us.

Post # 14
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Fiance and I both have our bachelors. However I don’t think we are at the same level intellectually. Don’t get me wrong he is super smart in some areas mostly Anthropology/space/science related but omg he seems to be so dense when it comes to real life situations/conversations. I was once talking about Mormons and he asked if I was talking about “the mythical creatures that live underground” I was like wtf? lmao.

Post # 15
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

We have somewhat of a gap i guess. I have my jd and he has a bachelors from a business school. I don’t think it really matters… we’re in totally different jobs. He is an accountant and is all-math/economics. I’m a lawyer and I deal with people and laws. Maybe it would be an issue if we didn’t have comparable jobs? But I feel like we’re very equal in terms of “white-collar-ness” Lol?

Post # 16
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have my bachelor’s degree and my Fiance is currently pursuing his PhD. We are in totally different fields though…me…IT..particulary software & test engineering…him…biomedical research…specializing in forensics. It makes for interesting conversation =) We call each other nerds all the time but it’s good that we can talk abt a variety of topics. His field is really interesting and he thinks the same about mine so we are good =)

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