(Closed) Eek! How awkward… Colleague invitations?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Just because someone invites you to their wedding, you are not required to reciprocate. You could always have a no-gifts BBQ/other event with coworkers later. And things change- a year from now, one or both of you could be at other jobs, so I wouldn’t worry too much about this. 🙂

Post # 4
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would invite them, but ask them to keep it on the DL so as to not offend anyone not invited.

Post # 6
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My Fiance and I also made an across the board, no co-workers decision. Especially for me, I share my time between multiple teams, only some of who I’m close to…it was way too hard to draw the line as to who to invite.

I read on another post here, if you stopped working with them, would you keep in touch? My answer was no, so that helped me be ok with it.

I did have to have a couple awkward convos at work though when it’s come up – another co worker is getting married just before me and has invited a couple people – but she also has a guest list of 500 whereas I have 150. It still costs money to have them. And then what about their spouses? Do you go plus one? And what about bosses? Or leaving someone out?

Ugh, forget about it, too complicated, no coworkers for me. I’ve told them when it came up that we are having a small family wedding and left it at that.

Post # 7
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

My Fiance are both on our way to becoming CL’s.  We’re in law school.  THAT is hard. It is a small school (about 100 people to a class) and everyone knows each other. No matter who we invite (and we absolutely want to invite some people) there are so many who are on the edge of “friends” and, where DO you draw the line? It is so hard. A friend of mine (also in law school, got married last summer) said, “Just stop caring about it. Some people are going to be angry, but you just can’t care. It’s your wedding. They’ll get over it.” and I’m trying to maintain that attitude.

I think you made the right decision not to invite any colleagues.  You could always just mention to your husband’s co-worker that you would have loved to have them there if you could, but it is a small wedding and the guest list is tight. 

Post # 8
22 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

this was a tough one for me because I work in a pretty social office – lots of happy hours, parties, and I’ve made good friends there over the years, some who are still there, some who have moved on but stayed close.

Ultimately I decided to cut it off at people I actually hang out with one-on-one or as couples – I didn’t invite people that I only get together with at large group outings, because if I did I’d be looking at another 20+ people. I realized that this rule would apply for friends from other areas of my life. Basically, if I would call someone up to go out to dinner/brunch, or to ask a favor, they make the list. I would love to have some of the others there because they’re fun, but we’re just not having that big of a wedding.

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