Egg Donation – thoughts?

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee

barbie86 :  same reasons as points 2 and 3. They pay €250 compensation and the child is legally entitled to get to know your details when they are 18. All donations here are based on voluntary donations so there is no compensation for blood, sperm etc. Donations. I’m assuming they are giving money for egg donation due to its invasiveness.

That being said. It’s wonderful when people do it. If you feel like you are up for it then go for it. The anonymity is the main thing for me personally. I understand the reason from the child’s perspective, but as a donor it’s not something I’m comfortable with.

Post # 17
Member
7637 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

littleanchor :  I’m surprised by the potential for fertility issues later since it’s not uncommon for couples to need IVF and then conceive naturally for subsequent children. 

Post # 18
Member
3605 posts
Sugar bee

I think it’s an awesome thing to do, and I went through IVF and it honestly wasn’t bad at all. I think that IVF is much worse when there are a lot of emotions going on and a lot of stress and anxiety going into something (aka dealing with infertility), which you won’t be experiencing being a donor. I have thought about donating my embryos, but I just can’t handle the thought of a genetic child being out there in the world. I think if you don’t have those hangups, it’s a really great thing to do. 

Post # 19
Member
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m pregnant with my second, and have been researching doing this afterwards. This will be our last child, and after struggling to conceive and seeing so many wonderful people go through the same, it’s something i’d really like to do.

It doesn’t phase me that it’s my DNA. In my mind, I’m giving them the paint or the paper, but they’re the ones creating the masterpiece. And i think any couple who wants a baby badly enough to go this route is likely to be an even better parent than me anyway lol.

Post # 20
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

barbie86 :  oh no that’s horrible. I wouldn’t want the kid contacting me or knowing anything about them outside if they exist or not. Like, no kid, I’m not your family; I was part of your medical team two decades ago. 

Post # 21
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Just bear in mind – There’s no such thing as anonymity these days – sperm and egg donation adult children are now routinely tracing  their bio families through commercial DNA testing companies. 

Post # 22
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Not if I don’t use Ancestry or whatever they can’t. They can be placed in my family as a match, but it wouldn’t have my DNA say I’m the “mom.” 

Post # 23
Member
9607 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

On the anonymity thing.. 

So my good friends used a sperm donor. He is some young buck who was attending Stanford for college and has a pristine medical history (they may know more, that’s all I know, aside from his race).

Anywho one cool thing about a donor who is open, like he is, is that parents have created a network for all his “bio progeny” (or their parents, rather) to talk.  My friend has about half a dozen couples to compare notes on how her only child’s half siblings handled certain life phases or what her girl would kind of look like if my friend had been black or brown or white. Anyway she thinks it’s really cool. They don’t bother the donor.. I think the rule is the kids can contact him when they are 18?

Not 100% relevant I guess but just sort of trying to share the cool side of having your DNA out there and the lack of DNA anonymity nowadays. Also just a story of how gamete donation helps couples. 🙂

Post # 24
Member
9607 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

 Impatient1 :  unless a sibling, child, parent, or even the right combo of aunt’s/uncles/cousins go on ancestry or some other site like that.  Then any industrious searcher would know you must be so and so’s sister/daughter/mother/aunt/etc.. and can contact your family to ask for your contact info.

It happens not so infrequently: affairs are uncovered this way, mothers who gave their baby up for adoption at a young age and kept it secret, etc.. 

On a side note it’s also how the Golden State killer was found. A cousin on one side and an uncle on the other, or something like that.

Post # 25
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

impatient1 :  they can still work out who you are. All it takes is for a half sibling, aunt, uncle, grandparent, cousin etc to test – there are Facebook groups of donors tracing their bio parents because other family members have tested. Ancestry gives you a list of all people who are related to you who have tested.  If you have a child of your own and that child tests, the donor child’s will show up on their list as a half sibling. 

Post # 26
Member
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Ok. Well, that’s one way to discourage donation. And adoption. 

Post # 27
Member
9175 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Would happily do it if I knew all those lucky little BabyGrids couldn’t one day show up at my doorstep.

In all seriousness though, I think it’s a wonderful thing for people who do donate. Hats off. 👏

Post # 28
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

I thought about doing this before. I joined a company, made my profile, submitted my pictures and they put it online in their “catalog”. Within a few days I heard there was a couple interested in proceeding with me.

I chickened out and told the company I was “busy with school” at that time and would contact when I’m ready later. I never did because the idea of my genetic baby running around freaked me out. And $6-7k in compensation they were offering didn’t seem worth all of that.

Post # 29
Member
6345 posts
Bee Keeper

I looked into this when I was a bit younger. In Canada it’s a true donation though, you are compensated for time but you aren’t really paid for it. Honestly I was just lazy and never followed through because there wasn’t enough incentive lol. I’d probably do it even for $4k though. I’m not going to have kids myself and I would never go through a pregnancy for someone else (one of the reasons I really don’t want kids is the pregnancy lol) and if someone struggling can use my eggs to complete their family I’m all for it.

Post # 30
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I think it’s a great thing for other people to do, but I couldn’t. Main reason being that I don’t want kids at all and would not like the feeling that I technically had a biological child out there. And in my country you can no longer donate anonymously, so the kid can go back to the clinic and ask about me and would be provided with my details. No interest in being bio mum that potentially gets tracked out in a couple decades with some kid who wants a relationship when all I would have wanted was to give a family to someone else.

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