(Closed) eggshells

posted 10 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I feel like at times, I have appropriate comments that I am too concerned to post because I know people will give me crap for saying it.  It’s my biggest complaint about WB.  I absolutely, positively believe that (at times) we sacrifice honesty for feigned support.  But yet, maybe that’s what some bees want?

Post # 4
523 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

my comments are pretty honest. If my only reaction to a post is “bitchy” then I refrain from commenting because as you said its not beneficial to anyone..I too would like an honest hive…

Post # 5
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Um… I definitely think before I type. I am naturally SUPER sarcastic and that doesn’t always come across right in type. So I do usually re-read and try to avoid any issues. 🙂

Post # 6
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’m with Corgi on re-typing before I “submit” because I can be painfully sarcastic & blunt at times & sickeningly bubbly and immature at others.

Here’s the problem with honesty: It always gets someone’s undies in a knot. You can’t please everyone all the time BUT I do think it’s important not just IRL but in an online community as well to phrase things in such a way as to try to avoid confrontation, even if it means watering-down your “opinion” or not posting at all.


Post # 7
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am also not always a super chipper happy camper type and am quite sarcastic, but I think when it comes to people’s wedding everyone is emotional about it and takes it personally.  I just don’t comment on things I disagree with unless I feel it’s really important to say. 

Post # 8
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I def. go by the “if you don’t have anything nice to say….” frame of mind.  If it’s based on facts I’ll comment regardless, or if it’s asking for an honest opinon I post, but if my comment is going to start something.. I refrain from posting and move on to the next thread.

Post # 9
1251 posts
Bumble bee

I am a very positive and upbeat person, but sometimes I repeat things to myself before I post them so I don’t come off as mean.

Because sometimes really, girls are being spoiled little brats and I think they should know! But I keep those opinions to myself for the most part.

Also, something that bugs me is when someone asks for honest opinions about the way they look. I would really want someone to be honest with me, but it seems like most girls are a little afraid to be honest.

But really, I’m nice. Innocent

Post # 10
2857 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

I usually refrain from commenting if what I have to say isn’t at least constructive. I tend to be very blunt, though, so sometimes I think that maybe I come off as kind of bitchy when I’m really being blunt for the sake of brevity, not bitchery.

Post # 11
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know what you mean.  I do think about what I say and try to be nice and diplomatic with my responses.  I really like how the hive is and I hope that we can disagree about things as long as we don’t say things that are outright mean or snarky to each other.

Post # 12
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I think this is a funny one because it kind of goes both ways and I don’t think there’s a way to resolve it.

I see threads sometimes where I think people are being really catty and mean and I want to say “whoa, what makes you think that’s okay?” but it’s pretty intimidating to say something on a thread where everyone is agreeing so sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t and I do feel constrained to ignore some of those threads.

However when I do comment (i.e. don’t walk on eggshells) the people in the thread could accuse me of making them walk on eggshells. 

It makes no sense to say “I don’t want to walk on eggshells, so you should walk on eggshells instead in order to make me comfortable”. 

Eh, unavoidable result of differences in opinion.

Post # 13
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with Ella1978 – I usually don’t post on things I can’t offer advice on or a supportive comment. It just seems pointless and counterproductive to say something that could be misconstrued as mean or snarky.

Of course I think if anyone is posting their business on a message-board they may need to remind themselves that they may not always get the kind of feedback they’re hoping for.

Post # 14
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

So @Arachna, I mean no harm in saying this at all but, you’re a bee who stands out in my mind because I typically see you say things contrary to the popular consensus.  A lot of times, you do get crap for it.  Sometimes I agree with you, sometimes I don’t.  But I most definitely think of you when I think of an honest, out spoken, not afraid to post how she really feels, bee.  

Post # 15
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If I feel strongly about something but saw that the majority of posters disagreed w/my thoughts I’d still post it.

There are times, however, where I bite my tongue (or in this case – sit on my hands) and don’t respond at all to certain threads.

Post # 16
1154 posts
Bumble bee

VirginiaMarie, thanks!  No offense taken over that at all, you’re right that I post contrary opinions more often than other bees (though I do frequently hesitate and don’t as well!) and while I’ve gotten some crap for it I usually haven’t gotten that much – one of the things I like about weddingbee, if I’m in the right I can usually count on at least some others agreeing with me (of course I’m not always in the right).

But you’ll never see me tell anyone that their dress is ugly either bluntly or nicely.  🙂

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