Eharmony or match.com?

posted 2 weeks ago in 30 Something
Post # 2
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I met my husband on eharmony. So I’d recommend it, it did seem to have plenty of genuine guys but it’s all just luck and depends who’s on each app. If one isn’t giving results then try the next one. Good luck 

Post # 4
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Another vote for eharmony I met my husband on it. I like that it requires both parties to actually put some work and money into signing up, shows that their intentions to find someone are more serious 

Post # 5
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 1984

Third vote for E-Harmony. Two co-workers met their now husbands using that site.

Post # 6
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

My husband and I met on eharmony. There are a lot of dead profiles, but after sorting through, it seems like more of the people who take out the subscriptions there are actually looking for relationships instead of just for fun. OKCupid was on the casual side, I found guys there weren’t as intentional about dating. Bumble was fun, but a little bit of hell on wheels from time to time. 

Post # 8
Member
14 posts
Newbee

First vote for Match ๐Ÿ™‚ I met the love of my life through Match after less than a month of posting my profile. He was on Match for over two years before we found each other though. There are good people on each site, so you can’t really go wrong. Good luck in your search!

Post # 9
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
@hrtsnstrs: Dating in your 30s is an adventure. I was also 30 when I was online dating, and while there aren’t a whole ton of serious men in that age group, I think a lot depends on what you view as a “quality man”.

I went on dates with several people from eharmony who I would consider “quality men” and/or “attractive”, but I didn’t mind someone who was 5’4″, or who had a bit of a dad bod, or who had a lower paying job than me. It didn’t scare me away that someone had already been married or had a kid or two. I didn’t limit myself to a small radius. I was willing to drive 45 mins to an hour for a date, and a surprising number of men were willing to do the same. I went on dates with men up to 13 years older than me and four years younger. 

I’m not suggesting these are hang ups for you, but I do think that successful online dating means you talk to and go on dates with many different people, and you can’t truly rule someone out until you’ve met them in person. Attractiveness is about more than just looks. Dating is a process, and it’s not a waste of time if you don’t get bogged down in the “one man at a time” mindset. I had a couple of dates per week for a month or two before I met my husband. Very few became second dates, but that was okay. It was still interesting to meet new people and have a nice dinner or coffee date.

I kept my bumble while I was on eharmony, so I was pulling from both places. 

Post # 11
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
@hrtsnstrs:  Totally understand the time constraints, which is why I had to cap mine at a date or two per week. There’s just not enough time in the day for dates with everyone from some of the more prolific dating sites.

I would never encourage to lower your standards. I’d just say that meeting someone for a coffee when four out of five things seem pretty good, and perhaps he has a kid or looks awkward in photos, isn’t a bad call. 

Post # 13
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I never did a paid site but I met my husband on okcupid. I believe he met his first wife there too. And a good friend of mine met her serious boyfriend of almost 3 years there once she signed up after we got engaged. So I’m a fan!

The one thing I highly encourage is for you to seek out people you like and initiate a conversation. I immediately got tons of messages and felt like I needed to give them all a “chance” and quickly got overwhelmed. Most of the messages just said hey or a short line. I’ve heard from guys that even if they spend time looking at a girl’s profile and tailoring a nice message to them, they often got ignored, so many stopped doing that really early on. So I looked through anyone that came up under possible matches and if I liked their profile, I wrote them a personal message, like “hey, I saw on your profile that you like xyz, I do too! Have you ever seen/done/been to (blank)? I really like your sense of humor, btw. Feel free to check out my profile and if you like what you see, great! If not, no worries and I won’t be offended at all. Have a great day!” When I did that, guys almost always responded. Some were interested and some weren’t, many faded quickly when we started chatting, but it was a lot better in terms of interested guys that were in line with what I was looking for. So I got a lot more bang for my buck! My husband messaged me back and pretty much took it from there- kept the chat going, asked questions, shared about himself, moved things to Facebook, then phone calls and then dates. It was great.

Post # 14
Member
583 posts
Busy bee

I met my husband on Match.  I didn’t like eHarmony because I found it more restrictive — not as many people to pick from.  

Post # 15
Member
5424 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@hrtsnstrs:  Although I never used any of the dating websites, I heard from friends repeatedly who have used both that eharmony is better than match. 

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