Eharmony or

posted 2 weeks ago in 30 Something
Post # 16
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Los Angeles

I never tried e-harmony so I can’t say yes or no to that one, but I used Match and found success. With all of these sites you have to weed through. I was mostly browsing because I hadn’t found anyone I was interested in more than a date or two, and then just as I was about to cancel my membership, I found him! I also, back in the day used plentyoffish (around 2003-6). That one you have to get through a lot of junk but I had met my former fiancé on that one. you have nothing to lose really. Try it out for, say, 3 months, and see what you think. 

Post # 17
49 posts
  • Wedding: July 2021 - Mackinac Island, MI

I met my fiancé on Tinder. That was 4.5 years ago so I have no idea what it’s like now. But my friend who met her husband in her 30’s met him on Bumble. I think you’re going to see success and failure on any dating app/ site, so you can’t really go wrong. Try them both 🙂 

Post # 18
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I met my husband on eHarmony. A good friend met her husband on Match. So, I think you can have success on either. I liked that eHarmony gave lots of thoughtul questions to ask each other and had a slightly more structured process to it, compared to Match.

To answer your question about “quality”, I had also tried OKCupid and some other free sites, but I found that the men on eHarmony seemed more compatible with me and more likely to be interested in a commited relationship.


Edited to add: sometimes eHarmony does a “free weekend”, so you can try it out before deciding to subscribe.

Post # 19
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

The only online dating site I have ever used is eharmony. A friend was doing it so I thought I would give it a whirl, but also kind of suspected it would be a waste of time. Signed up for three months to start, and  before the three months were up I had met my husband. It really was an incredible surprise that it worked so well, and did a better job of picking someone for me than I had ever picked for myself.

I have occasionally recommended it for others, and they have come back and said it is too expensive. I can’t judge what someone else can afford, but I can say that it was well worth the cost for me considering what I gained in return.  I don’t know what other sites are like, but on eharmony, you fill out extensive questionnaires about yourself and the match you are looking for. I remember a list of “must haves” and “can’t stand”. For example, I think one of my “can’t stand” criteria was someone who used recreational drugs.  

Then they only send you matches of people who line up with the info you have provided. I felt it did a lot of screening for me. Good luck!

Post # 20
1817 posts
Buzzing bee

I feel like I have tried them all 😂 I also got into the dating game at age 30 and I’m now 36 and married. I met my husband on Bumble but I’ve tried Match, EHarmony, Tinder, OK Cupid, etc.  I personally found Match to have the most options but lots of guys who seemed to have stayed on there for AGES. It took me a while to find my husband so after a certain point I had already weeded through the Match pool, LOL. EHarmony had muuuuch less diversity, at least in my area. Honestly only a few guys. I was really disappointed with it. But as others have pointed out, any app that gets you in front of people has the possibility to work so try a few! I started searching in January of 2015 and didn’t find my husband until September of 2016 so it took a while. It felt like I went on a million dates in between but ultimately it was worth it. Good luck!

Post # 21
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2020

I used Plenty of Fish, Match and OkCupid in the past. Didn’t find much of a difference between Match being a paid site and the other two being free, the quality is what you make of it. You still have to weed through douchebags and losers, either way. But there are trial periods for the paid sites, which is nice just to test the waters. 

I downloaded Tinder almost as a joke to myself and then the app got the last laugh: I met the man who is now my husband within four days.

Post # 22
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2022

Match! Met my fiancé on there and he was one of the first 5 guys I actually responded to. There are weird people on all platforms and those who will say they want one thing but really want another… just like if you meet people not online. We met in Feb and he had joined in November. I joined in Jan. Overall it was effective! I can’t edit my post for some reason, but I did notice a difference between OK Cupid and Match – guys seemed more serious and authentic on match (in my geographic area at least), and less “still trying to be 22/frat life forever/f*ck boy”. I think it matters where you live also.. I’m outside a major city where people def move when they’re single/maybe into the bachelor lifestyle. 

Post # 23
965 posts
Busy bee

Ask around in your geographic region. It just depends on what the kind of people you are looking for have coordianted on in your neck of the woods. It is different in different spaces. 

Post # 24
4033 posts
Honey bee


Personally, I had a horrible time on  No one ever responded.  It was a huge blow to my ego.

I had a ton of luck on POF, OKCupid and Tinder (this was 6-7 years ago).   I met a ton of really great guys.  Even if we didn’t have interest in dating, we ended up as friends and would hang out.

In the end, I met my husband on Tinder.  We matched, talked for a couple hours, decided to meet for a drink and then never stopped hanging out.  


Post # 25
71 posts
Worker bee

I met my husband on eharmony. I promised my mom I would go on a date with 3 different men before taking a long break from dating. He was my number 3. I liked it because I knew men who paid were somewhat serious and the profiles were descriptive enough I could weed out who I wasn’t interested in. My sisters best friend also found her husband on eharmony about an year before I did. Both of us went from single to seriously relationships to married with kids in a few short years. 

Post # 26
456 posts
Helper bee

I was 31 when I got divorced and entered the world of online dating! I met a few guys on match but wasn’t very successful on it. I used Bumble and hinge and I met a few guys but typically more it was more Casual. I met my now SO on an app called the league. It’s not in every city so it’s not that popular (I live in Toronto). He is 5 years younger than me which was not what I originally thought I would want hahaa I’m about to turn 35 and we’re getting married this summer. 

Post # 28
10299 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply

Well l should start off by saying l have never used a dating site so l know absolutely nothing about any of them…but it seems to me from your posts that even though you are emotionally and socially ready to meet your future husband, you are a bit jaded with the online process. It does sound rather draining! 

l know you didn’t ask and l’m not presuming to give advice, but l wonder if a period of not looking at all would be beneficial. You obviously have a busy and productive life anyway and clearly value for money is important to you, so…..why not rest on your laurels for a while? It wouldn’t  surprise me if you met someone the old fashioned way lol. 

Just as an aside, 10 or more years older gets you into into men- with- young- children territory for sure. Or, worse, never had a permanent partner, and likes women to be much younger – not an attractive trait to my mind !

Post # 30
790 posts
Busy bee

From someone who regularly got burnt out from online dating, but met her partner online dating (Bumble – but I’ve heard Hinge is where most of my mid-30s friends are dating)…

I would take breaks for a month or so. I tried taking a longer 6 month break, but I got jaded equally as fast. So roughly two months on, one month off, seemed to be a good fit for me.

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