(Closed) eHarmony to Provide Gay Dating Service After Lawsuit

posted 10 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 3
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Good!

Post # 4
Member
7 posts
Newbee

No, that doesn’t seem like a good thing. Companies are being told what sort of services they have to provide. It’s like suing your local hamburger stand for not serving Thai food or Mexican…It makes no sense at all. There have already been gay dating services. If the people who sued wanted a gay dating service, have at it…There are plenty of sites. I find this quite unfair…and a rather silly lawsuit. Making businesses cater to your needs…and NOT be their business anymore–is really just wrong.

Post # 5
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

Does seem weird… there are all kinds of different specialized dating sites out there and I think that’s OK. That is a business model — judeo-christian dating, gay dating, dating services for democrats, they all exist and have their own logic which really doesn’t apply well to other groups….

Hate to say it but this kind of thing is exactly what the prop 8 people say could happen, even though to many of us it seems… so… implausible!

Post # 6
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

MJC- I disagree.  Not matching same sex couples would be like refusing to match interracial couples or couples of differing religions.

While we cannot make people or companies respect the spirit of a law (in this case- an anti-discrimination law), we can force them to to follow the letter of the law.

Would it be OK for a restaurant to refuse to serve a gay person or person of color saying, "Why do they need to eat here- there is a restaurant that caters to blacks/gays down the street?" The Supreme Court ended segregation saying seperate is not equal- I think that is what is at issue here.

My hope is that people’s feelings catch up with our nations laws- you cannot discriminate against people based on their race, religion, sexual orientation, handicaps, etc.

Post # 7
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)

I personally think that they are headed in the right direction. I know it kind of sucks because they are doing it after a heavy lawsuit… but one of my friends told me lots of action and good things come out of lawsuit.

I am happy to hear that they are considering the whole same-sex. At least they are moving forward! But Im sure their will be space for improvement 🙂

Post # 8
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA

Progress is progress — I’m happy about it!  I think rosychicklet articulated it best 🙂

Post # 9
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Rosy, gay people could use the site, but it will be geared toward male-female matches. NOT serving people on the site, would be discrimination, but NOT giving them the options they want, is telling them what sort of business to run. If the options they want don’t exist on that site, they can go to many others, just like if I want Thai food but I’m at a burger joint, I can still go get Thai food down the road–I don’t sue and force the burger shack to start serving Thai. 

I see this sort of lawsuit as forcing people against their will to do something they don’t want. It’s rather unfair..This is not how you get people on your side, and it will only infuriate and upset people, not make them more sympathetic to your cause. 

Post # 10
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Plus, when reading the article about this, I saw that eHarmony will have to note on their pages that the way people are matched will be based on male-female hetero research…So it may or may not be a valid way to match gay people…Are they gonna sue now so that the folks at eHarmony can now do research to find the best ways to match gay people for compatibility?

 

Post # 11
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I agree with MJC: If dating sites are like restaurants and different orientations are like different types of food, then this situation is like suing a hamburger joint for not serving Mexican food. You may be allergic to hamburgers and/or have a pathological aversion or allergy to meat—such that you couldn’t ever eat it, even if you wanted to—but the restaurant isn’t denying you a hamburger. If they denied you a hamburger on any basis, that would be discriminatory. But they will serve you a hamburger if you order one. You just don’t want it. You can’t have it. You want a different kind of food. It’s not like they’re the only restaurant in town, or like they are force-feeding you hamburgers you don’t want. You should not sue the hamburger restaurant for failing to provide you with Mexican food. And above all the government should not be swooping in to tell the hamburger restaurant to open a Mexican place next door.

Post # 12
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I don’t think the food analogy is apt given that sexual orientation is not a choice (there are physiological and genetic differences that factor into a person’s orientation).  

If eHarmony was refusing to match people based on their skin color, their religion, their physical attributes, etc. I don’t think there would be much to debate- people would agree that it was wrong.

Again, my hope is that people’s feelings catch up with our nations laws- you cannot discriminate against people based on their race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, handicaps, etc.

Post # 13
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Rosy, I’m going on the assumption that sexual orientation is not a choice for most people. Now, there IS free will in what businesses a person chooses to use. Now, eHarmony didn’t discriminate against gay people on their site—Gay people could use it, but the people who brought forth the lawsuit didn’t like the choices being offered–that it was opposite gendered instead of same-gendered. Instead of going to another business that did offer what they would want, they chose to sue a private business for not offering what they wanted.  To me, it seems like if I go to a men’s clothing store (as a woman) and the sign outside states that it has men’s clothing, and I am not served b/c I’m a woman, that’s worthy of a lawsuit. If I go to the men’s clothing store and expect to have women’s clothes stocked on shelves and sue, that is just asinine and pointless… I could buy any of the merchandise–I’m not being discriminated against. I just didn’t like the choices. I could have gone down the road to a women’s clothing store or a store that has both types of clothes, so suing seems a stupid option. And it would be seen as ridiculous for me to tell the men’s clothing store to suddenly start selling women’s clother…or kids, or change their style of clothing just because I didn’t like the option.

If you are denied service based on who you are, that’s one issue that is law-suit worthy. If you just don’t care for the choices offered, it is childish and silly to sue. You can go to another business. 

Post # 14
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

MJC- I just don’t see how refusing to match gay couples is any different from refusing to match interracial couples (something that I think we can all agree would be discriminatory).

Post # 15
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Some sites match people based on religion–All kinds of religions, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, etc…

I did a quick search and found a Jewish Dating site for Jewish Singles. If I’m a Christian and I expect to be matched up with another Christian on a Jewish dating site, then should I sue the Jewish dating site for discrimination? It’s their right to make their service for Jewish people. I could use this service, but I’ll be matched with a Jewish person who is expecting to be matched with another Jewish person… Instead if I want to be matched with someone from a Christian background or have the option to not be matched based on religion, then I could just go to another site.

Now it seems that people could sue this site just b/c they don’t offer matches on ALL religions…So now the Jewish dating site needs to include options for Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Taoist, Atheist, Agnostic… 

Also, I found several gay dating sites by putting in a simple search…Are these sites now required to include searches for straight people too, so they can be matched with other opposite-gendered people? 

Telling one business what they can and cannot do…Suing them to offer different choices that pleases any and every faction of the population now opens the door for anyone to be sued to offer any service that any other person or group might decide they want. Personally, if I owned my own business, I would not want to be told how to run it and what products to offer…

 

Post # 16
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

I agree with mjc. They should’ve signed up for another site. I see the similarities more with the men/womens clothing store analogy more than the restaurant one. But either way, it’s a ridiculous lawsuit.

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