Post # 1
Hi Fellow Bees,
I couldn’t help but notice that there are a number of us getting married this fall, right around the presidential election. I’m having a small wedding, but even so – all points on the political spectrum will be represented. Clearly I can’t do much to guard against heated discussion or outright rancor between future in-laws and my family. I’m just wondering if any other bees are having anxiety dreams about some knock down, drag out, political-debate-turned melee erupting at their wedding receptions? I’ve put my family on notice to be on their best *political* behavior, but that’s about all I can think to do! Comisseration and advice are welcome.
Post # 3
I am worried about this also.
Our wedding is 4 days after the election and I am concerned that feelings will be hurt and ego’s will be bruised so soon after Decision 2008.
I made the decision this past weekend as my brother screamed at me about politics that I was not going to discuss it anymore this season.
Yesterday someone posted about making a fun game about it, like having people put a quarter in a jar if they are caught talking politics. Most people thought this was a bad idea, but I actually liked it. I think it would be an easy way to diffuse the situation. I don’t know about where any of you live, but here in the South, those debates can turn ugly pretty quick and I don’t want that stuff ruining our wedding activites.
Post # 4
We planned our wedding a year and a half ago for Nov 1st. Without realizing we found out thats day light savings and 3 days before the election.
Since we have a lot of out of town guests, I’m hoping the guests will use the wedding as a small get away and leave their political views at home. I would like to think most people would be on their best behavior for a wedding. My family is mostly from New England and the wedding is in NY so I think no matter what, everyone pretty much knows their state will go to the left.
Post # 5
I think the idea about a quarter in a jar is BRILLIANT! My wedding is going to be right after and it just occurred to me that I am either going to be very happy or very depressed!
Dont count on people behaving for a minute! I think the quarter idea is a MUST!
Post # 6
The quarter jar as a penalty is brilliant!
Post # 7
I like the quarter in a jar idea, but I’m afraid it would just draw more attention to the issue. I think I’ll rely on hard looks to family members who start to "go there" or a quick kick under the table! Good luck to all us fall ’08 brides.
Maybe I should stake some Obama/Biden signs in the reception yard?
Post # 8
Our wedding is 10 days before the election and we’re taking the theme and running with it!
We have political buttons with our picture on it with our last names "Smith-Jenkins 2008"
We also printing up Ballots where they vote for their president and "running mate" … that doubles as a little card to write good wishes on
We’re having Americana (Andrews sisters) music played at the cocktail hour.
And the video I made up (slideshow) is modeled off of a campaign commercial made up of incriminating pictures.
We’re a pretty politically diverse family… but we’re also politically engaged so its the perfect theme for us!
Post # 10
My fiance and I are different parties and we’re thinking of doing donations as favors–half to a Republican group and half to a Democrat group. But I don’t know if people will be too upset by the idea of the group that isn’t their group getting $$$.
Post # 11
I’m not sure that a donation to opposing parties doesn’t result in a wash. People might view it as a waste, no matter the political party. If you really want to do it, you might want to say "donation to worthy causes," or something generic.
Post # 12
@ Caroline: Personally, I think I’d be a little peeved if there was a donation made in my name to one of the parties. They’re already too rich and strong as it is, and unless you’re political activists or something of the sort and it really means a lot to you, I’d find a cause that can’t make quite so much money on its own. I sympathize with the brides above and would really want to keep politics out of my wedding (with the exception of Iten, that’s fun and not close enough to real politics to cause a problem).
Post # 13
True. A better option is to donate to something neutral, like the American Cancer Society.
Post # 14
You have absolutely no control over what your guests will discuss. Most people know better than to discuss politics or religion except in the very broadest of terms at functions such as these. If this is the only thing you’re worried about, consider yourself a very lucky bride
My wedding is in the south, less than a month before the election. My personal brand of politics (and that of most of my friends, birds of a feather, you know) is quite different from those of the red state in which we’re marrying. The thought has crossed my mind, but other than asking my father to make sure he puts his teeth in and leave his confederate generals tee shirt at home, I acknowledge that it is out of my hands. The best you can do is gently steer the conversation elsewhere if you hear it come up.
Post # 15
I do think that donations to each party is a wash and would seem a waste. I am however of the belief that every fall bride had better get a plan in place to deal with the possibility! If not the quarter jar then a stock line or phrase–like no business or politics on my special day. I do think the threat of a battle is real, I dont think you can just sweep this under the carpet especially when you cant control your guests, forewarned is forearmed.
Post # 16
The tempers sure are starting to flame…. I’ve even been thinking how glad I am that there aren’t any family functions I need to attend until way after the election. Politics always comes up in my family, and I’m always astounded at what I hear — I’ve lived in college towns for the past eight years and so I find it shocking how misinformed some people are (for example: Obama is a Muslim newborn baby killer. I cry for the future of this country)…… 🙁
Anyhoo, the quarter jar is a great idea. Politics will be on people’s minds and it will come up in many conversations. And people will be loosened up with the fine drink that will be freely poured. The best idea is to acknowledge this reality, and try to find a way to make it lighthearted.