Post # 16
Do you have plans to do any birth prep classes ? In the UK the NHS and the National Childbirth Trust offer them. I ask because before we did ours I was adament about not wanting to get into water while in labour. After the classes and finding out some facts and experiences I did a complete 180 and am now requesting a water birth.
Ok not quite the same, but I found these classes the best source of information on my birth choices (note: the NHS doesn’t offer elective c sections unless there is a reason for the mother to need one or she has had one previously)
I completely get how scared you might be and there are things you can do to reduce the likelihood of tearing. Perenium massage for one.
Of course it is completely your choice, but it is a major surgical procedure and not one that is to be undertaken lightly.
Post # 17
I am currently pregnant as well and will have c-section be last resort option, but I am less scared of vaginal birth than I am of that surgery. also, keep in mind, I am pretty sure once you have a c-section it’s less likely you can give birth naturally the second time. Not sure if you are planning for more children, but I know my mom couldn’t after her emergency c-section with me.
Post # 18
I wouldn’t say elective c-sections are bad, but, unless you’ve given birth before, you truly don’t know what you body is capable of. I had to do a c-section after 33 hours of labor, it was not by choice but my water broke 33 hours prior and we tried everything to send my body into labor and nothing worked. I was flirting with the amount of time for potential infection to myself and the baby and this hospital had no NICU to treat her if she needed care. The only reason I chose to have a c-section at that exact moment was becasue I didn’t want to recover in a separate hospital from my baby. She showed no other signes of complication, wasn’t breech or anything, but that one possibility I wasn’t okay with risking. I would strongly consider learning pain management techniques and discuss a vaginal birth plan with your doctor before jumping onto the c-section train. I think it’s more common for people to elect to have a c-section when the pregnancy was complicated or there’s a threat to the health of the baby/mother.
Post # 19
I only know one person who delivered one baby vaginally and the other via c-section, a former coworker who is one of my favorite people. She described the vaginal birth as “easy”. She had an epidural and didn’t feel anything until pushing. And even while pushing didn’t feel her first degree tear. She felt normal after just three weeks.
As you may remember, I just gave birth to my girl in September, and my experience ended up being similar. Early labor for me felt like a normal period with cramps, but it was no big deal. When I got to the hospital, I had the absurd idea that just because I took prenatal yoga I could handle natural childbirth. Six hours later I was howling for an epidural. After that, it was smooth sailing. I marveled at how I could tell I was having contractions but felt no pain, chatted with my doula, and napped in preparation for pushing. The only bad part was that I could only suck on ice chips and I was so hungry! Pushing hurt, not gonna lie, it felt like my down low parts were burning, but it didn’t last long and once my baby was placed on me I forgot all about it. I had a first degree tear and felt more or less normal after two months, but I have always been a slower healer than the average person. Sex still hurts (use all the lube and tell your husband to do lots of foreplay and go slow!) and I have super mild incontinence if I cough or sneeze but I’ve been doing my kegels and going on hikes while wearing the baby and feel improvement every week.
Now, onto my coworker’s C-section story. She told me the entire pregnancy with the second was a nightmare. This baby took forever to conceive, was over 10 pounds at birth, stressed out her mom’s body and she just wouldn’t come out so a c-section was performed. She said that although she was numb, she could feel pressure and discomfort while her organs were being moved around and felt this weird sensation like getting your teeth pulled at the dentist when they removed her baby. It was painful to hold the baby, stand up, etc. for three months, so she needed her family’s help to care for the baby. Thankfully she was very close with her parents.
If I recall correctly, you come from a messed up family like mine with a narcissistic mother, right? If like me you don’t have a strong support structure, I wouldn’t elect to have any major surgery. Most men aren’t socialized to be competent caregivers. Do you really want to depend on your Darling Husband during recovery? My Darling Husband is wonderful and supportive and I know he’d try his very best but I know he wouldn’t do a good enough job and I’d probably need to hire a postpartum doula or something.
Post # 20
I’ll be completely honest and I’m sure some people will take offense, but I think it’s selfish to opt for an elective c-section. Can vaginal births have complications? Sure. But the vast majority of times, things heal fine. A c-section may be “routine” but it’s still major surgery.
Our hospital doesn’t even allow you to hold your baby until you’re out of recovery, which is 1-2 hours. I can’t even imagine waiting that long, and then dealing with the additional recovery time voluntarily. I would feel so guilty basically choosing a pretty vagina over my baby’s comfort.
Will your Darling Husband be staying with you 100% of the time at the hospital? Ours would not allow you to have baby in your room by yourself if you couldn’t get out of bed alone, and many hospitals don’t have nurseries anymore. That means some nurse has your baby at their station.
Do you have someone that can stay with you for ~4 weeks if you need help? Someone you would be comfortable helping you off the toilet? Seeing your boobs?
Do you have someone that can come with you to every doctor appointment (for you and baby) if you can’t carry the carseat?
Have you checked with your insurance to see if they even cover an elective procedure like this?
Are you planning on having more children? C-sections carry more risks with each birth.
Post # 21
snowflake8 : Motherhood brings a whole variety of new fears, least of which is labour. Once your baby is here, you will stand over them at night to watch them breathe, you will research every little thing. Your heart will break leaving them for the first time, fear of something bad happening or them forgetting you, etc. Don’t let fear allow you to make choices that aren’t in the best interest of you and your baby.
I had a c section and it wasn’t the worst but man that recovery is long. I hope you have lots of help if you choose this option.
Post # 22
- Wedding: May 2014 - Paradise Gardens
I just want to add that you should probably consider how many children you would like to add to your family. With a C-section election multipe times you be limited in terms of the number of children you can have when considering the health risks for yourself. Like most of the mamas here, I’d question an OB that is pro c-section.
Don’t feel the pressure to make the decision before your appointment, go in chat with the OB, and get their opinion on the pros/cons and discuss it with your partner. What’s best for one may not be best for another. I’d say go into the labor and delivery process trusting your bodies ability and let the OB know that you may want to opt for a c-section if you begin to feel too much anxiety etc…you never know your labor could be short and uneventful and you may feel empowered to give birth vaginally. I would give myself and my body to at least experience the labor and make a decision at that point.
Also, I really enjoyed reading Ina May’s book, Guide to Childbirth it was very empowering and gave a lot of background on the womans boday and its capabilities.
Post # 23
jjbeebee : Everything you said +1,000,000,000,000
Especially as an anxiety sufferer, perfectionist, and overplanner. Motherhood has been a tough ride and it has almost never been due to the stuff I THOUGHT I would worry about.
Post # 24
brlabrat : jjbeebee : Definitely this!
OP – If you are so worried about childbirth that you would choose a major surgery over vaginal, then I’d consider talking to a doctor about your anxiety. Motherhood is filled with worry and it can get overbearing at times. Be kind to yourself and try not to worry.
Post # 25
I just want to add that I always tell new moms that the hardest part about the early days of motherhood is having to recover while also learning to take care of a new baby and having little time for yourself and doing it with no sleep. It was overwhelming the first time around and I just can’t imagine having to do it after having major surgery and being in any more pain than necessary. Just something else to think about. It’s not like you’ll be hanging out in bed resting while you recover.
Post # 26
I’m at 33 weeks, so just a little ahead of you. I’ve had two vaginal births that were easy and trouble free. I am seriously hoping all goes well with this baby because I do not want a c-section. After I was discharged from the hospital I was sore but I pretty much returned to my normal life. I don’t want major abdominal surgery unless absolutely necessary.
Post # 27
I had an emergency section. The first few weeks after birth were a bit of a haze, I was tired and it was made worse by pain. I got over it but I wouldn’t have chosen a section.
One thing that hasn’t been mentioned is the psychological effects. I sometimes feel robbed of the experience of giving birth to my son. I know a c section is still giving birth but it’s a strange feeling that I don’t feel like a gave birth. It’s something to consider.
Post # 28
I would also run from your ob.
I pushed for four hours after 30 hours of labor and had troubles with my.blood pressure and the baby’s heart rate.
After four hours of pushing I begged them to help me and when the baby didn’t budge with the vacuum they did an emergency csection. The cord was wrapped around my daughters neck twice which was causing all of the complications.
My takeaway is that my hospital only intervened when it became an absolute necessity.
I agree with pp that an ob who is willing to schedule an elective csection instead of counseling you about your fears is bad news.
I had such bad anxiety towards the end that my ob saw me every other day. Not because I needed to be monitored, but because she felt that that would ease my anxiety.
Post # 29
I wouldn’t go looking for opinions or experiences with this as the mommy wars problem makes it difficult to get a good response. Any decisions about your healthcare are between you and your Doctor. Do what’s right for you.
Post # 30
jjbeebee : This exactly! child birth is like a fart in the wind compared to what comes after. I honestly found it to be a nice bonding experience with my husband and the excitement of everything happening and getting to meet my babe soon overshadowed any concerns of labor.