(Closed) Elope now, ceremony/reception to follow?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@vitani88:  Hi OP, I’m a bit late for this post but (in case it helps others) just wana say that we did this! We got married in Europe, because we were already planning to holiday there. We kinda just added it to our itinerary and tied the knot in private while we were enjoying our dream holiday. We told everyone our plans, sent out ‘elopment’ notices along with an invitation to our reception that we held 2 weeks later back home in Aus. NOT ONE PERSON was offended. There was one friend that did not come, that might have come (or might not) if it were the whole shebang. It was exactly what we had imagined our dream wedding to be and everyone was very very happy for us, for doing our own thing and yet still being able to celebrate our marriage. The reception was a little more casual than perhaps a ‘normal’ wedding. Our ceremony was also very very chilled out and relaxed. It was the best of both worlds and a truly magical way to be married. This perhaps does not belong on the etiquette board, we were very aware that we were breaking the mould, but just because it’s different, does not mean it is WRONG. It is just…. different. For us, it was perfect.

http://www.mywedding.com/kellyandkeane

Post # 18
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@DaneLady:  You are 100% correct. I had a similar thing happen with a very close friend. I found out the day of the “wedding” that she had been married for six months. I’m still ticked off about it six months later, and it has really damaged our friendship; the lying, that is. People might be upset they missed the real ceremony, but I think they’ll eventually get over it.

Definitely tell people the truth. Lies only hurt people.

Post # 19
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh and I also agree with PP’s that if you plan to elope and have a reception later, you really should tell your loved ones, that way they can learn to be happy for you by the time the reception rolls around and not feel as though you ‘lied’ to them. We thought about keeping ours a secret, if we had, there would be NO WAY IN HELL we’d do a big reception afterwards. it would have been strictly elopement. We chose to tell people so to not hurt anyones feelings and then mum organised the party LOL

Post # 20
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We are eloping. I don’t like a lot of attention and I’ve never been the little girl to dream about my wedding. The thought of me walking down the aisle when a hundred people stand up for my entrance scares me! I also don’t want anyone to spend the money on a bachelorette party, bridal shower, invitations, limos, flowers, decorations, etc. I don’t care for those things. I just want a marriage and beautiful photos to commemorate the day.

We won’t have a ceremony after we come home because I’d feel silly, like I was reenacting. Plus then I’d have to spend the money on all those things anyway. We will host a reception to please my parents, but really it’ll be more of a family dinner at a nice restaurant. I won’t have a bridal party, DJ, dance floor, centerpieces or favors. It’ll just be an informal occasion to gather family and close friends for food and drinks, and I don’t expect/want gifts.

I had no idea that eloping and having a reception afteward was considered to be in poor taste.

Any advice on how to offend the least number of people?

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