(Closed) Elope then have a ceremony?

posted 9 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you elope you are married.  so, you wouldn’t have another wedding ceremony would you?  You CAN’T get married again, because it’s not a valid ceremony.  So, you can have a religious blessing, renewal of vows or convalidation…. depending on your religion.  But you wouldn’t have an officiant “marry you” because it wouldn’t be valid.

However, lots of people elope and then have a reception – you can play the video of your ceremony during the reception if you want.

Post # 4
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@echolove:  It depends on the reason and the length of time between.

If you’re having a destination wedding in another country, the requirements are tricky for a license so you have a legal ceremony a day or two before in the States.  Most people understand and it’s no big deal.

If one of you is in the service and it’s complicating the situation, it’s not a big deal to elope and then have a wedding in a few months time.

Other cases that I think are okay, if it’s a complicated immigration situation and you’re honest with everyone that it’s a legal requirement but that you want a wedding with friends and family, it’s fine.  Or if you’ve got the wedding planned and do a quick ceremony for a dying grandparent, then have the wedding later, I think that’s fine.

If it’s on a whim, then it’s fine to have a ceremony later, but I think it should be a renewal if it’s any more than a month or so later.  Most people will treat it like a wedding still. 

Post # 5
4090 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Some people on here have done this.  THey cannot get a real officiant to “marry” them the second time as by law you are already leagally married.  So mabye they have a family member “conduct” the ceremony, but really it’s just for showing the family.

Some couples are religious and have a convalidation ceremony which is in the eye’s of the Lord (if you’re religious and all that).  HOwever, I’ve never seen what one of these looks like (aka is it like a wedding?)

Are you eloping somewhere where the US does not legally recognize the marriage, like Bora Bora, or where it’s too hard to get married legally like Paris?  Then by law you still need a ceremony.  People do it before or after leaving the US.

Some people elope (the legal wedding), but then do a vow renewal for their family and friends.  These typically don’t resemble wedding events (white dress, first dance, bouquet throw) and are more of a celebration party.

I feel like you get one day to get married.  So figure out what is it you want, OR CAN LIVE WITH – because we don’t always get what we want all the time, and make the day as special as you can given the resources you have.

Or you can just have a delayed celebration party after you elope.  No ceremony/vows, just a lovely party to celebrate.

Post # 6
9886 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Eloping is your ceremony.  You are legally married after you elope.  When you have the ceremony after “just for show,” you run into issues like PPs have mentioned.

If you do this, please do not lie about it.  Be open with your family that you’re already married.  Deception and lying are not a way to start a marriage.

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