(Closed) Elope to have two Children

posted 10 years ago in Elopement
Post # 17
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh gotcha, you want married time together. This is just my opinion, but I get that for couples who don’t live together, but not really for coupleswho already do. For me, We’ve cohabitated for about 4 years now and I just don’t see it being all that different when we’re legally married. I feel married already. But maybe Im wrong.  Sorry for the typos….

Post # 18
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Is this because you want to move in together now? and currently don’t?

Post # 19
3605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

so you already live together, you want to elope but not tell anyone and in a years time have a big wedding and start TTC straight away?

there is nothing wrong with having a formal celebration after an elopement but be honest with your friends and family so they know its a renewal and you are already married

Post # 20
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’ve got to be honest, I’m kinda, err, baffled here – a year together as a married couple trying to pretend they’re not married or still currently planning a wedding isn’t going to be like the typical first year of marriage anyway. Also, if you wait a year, your big wedding might not even feel like a wedding, but instead like a party of its own, being you’ll not even technically be newlyweds anymore.  Why don’t you just push up your big wedding? Why wait a year for the wedding?  In the long run it’s going to cost you more to elope and then have the big ceremony.  Save yourself some bucks/energy/time.  Like someone said, it’s pretty likely you won’t get pregnant right off the bat.  I want to say the average ttc period is around 6months, and I know plenty of people who took much longer than that.  Plan your wedding in 4ish months (it’s do-able!!!), and start ttc in a little over a year.  You’ll get your big wedding, year together as a married couple, and you’ll start ttc right around the same time, without the hassle of the elopement.  Keep us all updated with your decision (I’m sure the decision you guys make will be the best decision for you, whether you listen to any of us or not).  Good Luck!

Post # 21
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would say that I agree with moving up the wedding.  We were originally going to get married in April of 2013 and moved the wedding up by 6 months.  Not exactly the same reasons – although kind of similar as Fiance says he doesn’t want kids after 40 and he’s 36 now…not much time left.  =)  (I actually don’t factor that into our timeline too much, I figure we’ll just have kids when we do!)

Post # 22
4081 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

The average length of time it takes a woman in her early to mid 30’s to conceive is roughly 7-10 months per pregnancy. And that is without fertility problems. You could get pregnant right away, but it isn’t as likely. I don’t know that you’ll have both by age 35. It may be more like 36 or 37. Just an FYI. I agree with those that said to move up the wedding instead of the elopement idea. I think that would work better.

Post # 23
3930 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

so very confused.  if you aren’t going to have kinds until after the “fake” second wedding anyways, then why do you need to elope now?  i don’t get it…

Post # 24
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

4 hours after I first read this, I’m still shaking my head and not really getting the point.  I think you should do as a couple other posters suggested and do a courthouse wedding now and then down the line after you’ve had your kids etc, go ahead and do a vow renewal.  

FYI, I was 34 when I got married and I’m getting close to hitting 37 (August), and we’ve been trying since June of 2010 with only a miscarriage to show for it.  Best of luck in getting what you want, but remember that things happen in their own time and not always on your planned timeline.   I always figured I’d be married with kids by 25 – go figure!  🙂

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