Eloped 2 months ago, only received something (card, dinner, ect) from 3 families

posted 6 months ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I couldn’t read this whole thing. You eloped, privately, excluding any involvement of others. The number of gifts you received based on your ceremony is appropriate. Try being grateful. 

ETA: You chose to not have these people involved. They don’t owe you anything just because you got married.

Post # 3
1247 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

Maybe their feelings are hurt you didn’t include them. Did you get congratulations when you told everyone?

If you Facebook announce something, you get a Facebook response.

Post # 4
6038 posts
Bee Keeper


Post # 5
597 posts
Busy bee

I totally did not know it was a thing to send a card to a couple who has eloped. I mean, part of the reason that we are eloping is that we don’t want/need any gifts. We also do not like the idea of anyone feeling like they need to buy a gift. So… maybe you just have expectations that don’t align with how your friends and family feel about elopements. Don’t take it personal. 

Post # 6
6650 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Sometimes when you elope, it hurts other people’s feelings. You’re allowed the wedding you want. Others are allowed to congratulate, or not congratulate, you how they want.

Post # 7
2315 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t give gifts if I’m not invited to a wedding.  Would be the same for someone who eloped.  I’d congratulate them on their Facebook post though.

Post # 8
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

daisyjupes :  news flash this is what happens when you elope and exclude everybody. Are you really that surprised????

Post # 9
4375 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You eloped. You basically said to your family and friends that we don’t want you around to witness our marriage and celebrate the occassion but you are now saying please send cards and gifts to celebrate something you we didn’t deem you important enough to be a part of.

I’d just like to say I’m not against elopements. People can get married how they want but they shouldn’t in the same token expect gifts and a brass band in honor from people that were not invited to be part of the day. 

As for your birthday analogy. Everyone has a birthday around you. Do you honestly give everyone you know a card and a gift even if you are not invited to a  Birthdsy party? I highly doubt it as you’d probably be broke and time poor from all the those gifts you have to shop for. We selectively give birthday cards and gifts too so your birthday analogy doesn’t work. 🙄

Post # 10
7397 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Uh nope. You don’t get cards, gifts and dinners when you exclude everyone from your wedding. 

Post # 11
338 posts
Helper bee

The only correct answer/advice is what you have specifically stated that you don’t want to hear.

You don’t get to have it both ways. This is essentially like saying that you didn’t want to bother to spend the effort or money to host them at your wedding but still expect them to give you attention and presents as if you did. 

Post # 12
977 posts
Busy bee

I think people’s feeling are hurt. I know mine would be if I was not invited to my child’s wedding. 

Of course people can elope to get married but there will be family and friends that will feel snubbed  and maybe this is the way they show it.

A Facebook announcement may also play a factor in this too. If a good friend got engaged and only told her immediate family and didn’t call me but just posted it on Facebook then I would be upset. If they have congratulated you on Facebook then they probably think they have responded in kind.

It is not as if it is a pattern that people do not care about you as obviously they sent cards after your graduation. 

Post # 13
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Elopement means you forego presents and celebration with others. Getting anything at all is a bonus to be grateful for. 

Post # 14
8660 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

daisyjupes :  You are being childish. It’s extremely ballsy to set up a registry when you’re eloping. I eloped, so I am not judging that decision at all. But it’s unrealistic to think you get to skip out on all the hassle and expense of a wedding, but still reel in the loot. I know, I know — it’s not the stuff right, you would have been happy with just a card, right? Based on this post, I don’t believe it. And nobody owes you a card either. I’m sure when you see them they’ll be excited and ask about it, which is perfectly appropriate. 

Post # 15
38 posts

You eloped, you choose to exclude family and friends from the celebration of your union.

Why do you expect them to now be included when it comes to dinners, presents and cards? Nothing wrong with elopement, but this expectation makes no sense. 

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors