- 7 years ago
Hi Bees. I’m newly engaged and I love these boards. I need your advice on something. We are having a private ceremony, we hired photographers and asked a cousin to officiate our wedding, his wife will be our witness. We found a beautiful place that we want to get married, and there really isn’t room for anyone else. We feel very strongly about the actual wedding being just between us. We are calling this a planned elopement. However, we really want to celebrate our marriage with our families. We are trying to decide between two choices.
Option one: We can have a big blow out engagement party in the next few months. We were talking about renting out our favorite resturant, inviting all our family and friends and just having a good time. Cons: Our best friends are getting married in November, and I’d rather do it after their wedding out of respect, so it may be too late by then for it to still be an enagement party. We could possibly do this in August or September, as it’ll be before all of the festivities start for their wedding, but I still feel bad about doing it first.. they’ve been planning for so long now, and I don’t want it to seem like we are overshadowing them somehow? Obviously it’s not a wedding, so it’ll be different.. maybe I’m overthinking this.
Option two: We have our private ceremony, and then throw a party after. This one would probably be more low key, at our house. Still catered with good food and lots of fun. This way we could have games/photobooth and make it more traditionally “wedding”. Cons: We worry that people won’t want to come because they’ll be offended they weren’t invited to the actual ceremony. It’ll also be confusing that we are already married, and I’m not sure how to word invites and the like.
Another option would be to do both. Have a dinner for our engagement and invite everyone, and then throw a party after the actual wedding and invite everyone again. The engagement party would be the bigger party. This is my least favorite option because I feel like it’s too much celebrating. (is there such a thing) and I feel like it would be weird for people to come to two parties and still see no wedding. We are planning on having pictures from our ceremony at the reception if we go with that option, but obviously if we go with the engagement party they’ll just see the pictures later on fb or the photographers blog.
If you were our friends, which would you prefer? Or do you have other ideas? Sorry this got so long!!