(Closed) Elopement = missing out?

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
Post # 17
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

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JessRae:  If you want a small wedding, then have that.  People will get over the fact that they weren’t included.  You shouldn’t have to have a large party just to appease them.  That is ridiculous and they are ridiculous if they are giving you a hard time about it.

I find it gross that adults pout becasue they weren’t invited to somemthing to the point where a couple feels that they have to appease them by throwing a party.  No.  They need to grow up and realize that not getting an invite to your wedding is not the end of the world and respect the fact that you want a small wedding.

Post # 18
7838 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I don’t think it is acceptable to invite people to a bridal shower and not to the wedding. Nor do I think it is acceptable to let anyone except the ceremony guest list know about a registry. Both of those things are gift-grabby, IMO. And while you say the reception is for other people and not for you, registering for gifts makes that unlikely. But given that you are unconcerned with traditional etiquette regarding the ceremony/reception, perhaps traditional etiquette simply doesn’t apply. I imagine that those who would be offended simply would not attend/give gifts.

Post # 20
294 posts
Helper bee

Wow, I really don’t understand all the nastyness from these bees. I fully understand not wanting alot of people at the ceremony, it’s an emotional day and both me and my Fi aren’t keen on having people around us to worry about. We want our day to be relaxed and only have to focus on our promise to each other. It’s not wierd at all to have a reception later down the line, I know loads of people who do, both to save up the money for it and also let the emotions calm down.
I know what you mean by worrying if you are missing out by not having a “proper” wedding, I do too at times. There are several reasons for why we aren’t having a big one, but the main one is knowing we both aren’t into having loads of people about, and how nervous and anxious it both makes us. It is your day, and your day needs to be happy and relaxed and not having to worry. Don’t worry about missing out, because you are doing what is right for you, and you will have the chance to celebrate with your loved ones. It’s going to be great, I am sure. 🙂


Post # 22
2762 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Nooe you don’t miss out. Or I guess you do, but if they’re things you don’t really care about then you really don’t. Does that make sense? Have your ceremony however you want to have it and celebrate your marriage with whomever you want!

signed – someone who did NOT want to be gawked at or stressed out about socializing on her wedding day. 

Post # 23
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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Soon2ElopeBee:  The only  person I want gawking at me that day is Fiance 🙂

Post # 24
42 posts

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JessRae:  I totally agree, I’m in the same situation!


So, I’m torn because everyone is pressuring me to have a large reception when we get home. Basically, I want to invite all 180 people to join us in the Bahamas, but if they can’t make it, we will celebrate either before we leave or after we get home…Is that weird too? The thought of sending invitations and even having a party is stressing me out.

Post # 25
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I plan on either eloping or having a super small wedding (FI and my personal preference) and I have already had some close friends and family STILL offer to throw me a shower and bachelorette party, etc…! Traditions go out the window. Hey if someone wants to still celebrate with you- they will!! People get so snippy about traditions. As long as someone else offers to throw you something then it’s not gift-grabby AT ALL!

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by Profile Photo tessadub.

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