(Closed) Elopement…No Party Afterward

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

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FireTiger71 :  If it helps I’ve had two friends elope. One sent postcard announcements and then went on a fancy vacation instead of a party. The other one told us a week before, got married at the courthouse went to dinner and that’s it m they did plan to have a party after but I don’t think that it’s happening. Either way, I’m happy for both and if the others decide on a party I’ll attend. So really it’s up to you and what you want to do. 

Post # 32
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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FireTiger71 :  Maybe your photog could do an early release? Our photog gave us 20 pics just a few days after the wedding so we could show them to family that were not present. It’s not a ton of work for them to do 10-20 pics only and they may be agreeable to it- never know without asking. Then you’d get to use one or two of your wedding pics in your announcement, but not have to wait a month plus for processing. 

Post # 33
769 posts
Busy bee

It’s what we are doing – hiding out in a converted chapel for a couple of days and getting married. I’m toying with asking the photographers to be witnesses to reduce the amount of people there even more (or we can have the owners of the venue). We are not throwing a party afterwards for a whole host of reasons including (but not limited to): we’d rather spend the money on our honeymoon, we aren’t close with either family, there are issues in my family, and we don’t drink or like partying/dancing anyway! 

My mum is really upset about it even though I’ve been telling her this is my dream wedding for years. It’s strange because on the other hand, my OH’s mum is fine with it and encourages us to be who we are as people. We will send out announcements afterwards. It’s not likely we will go to a restaurant later either. As for gifts – whatever! If someone wants to celebrate our marriage with a gift then I will be very happy, but it isn’t essential. When my aunt found out she wasn’t being invited she told me not to expect a present. As if somehow that would change my mind! 

Post # 34
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

This is what I would love to do. If it weren’t for social media and the grapevine in general I would do it and send it to basically everyone as a cute fun surprise in the mail, no party, no gifts, the end! 

I mean, look how cute:


Post # 35
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I am doing the same thing. I will have my parents and one or two of my siblings and the same with his folks. Then we all go home and ew go celebrate alone on our honeymoon. No party, no dinner, no nothing. It’s exactly what we want and exactly how it will be. 

Post # 36
597 posts
Busy bee

We eloped and had no party afterwards. I called my friends to announce the news, my parents called their siblings. None of the people we called were anything but thrilled and happy for us! I only got the comment about “and now you’ll have a big party” from co-workers or acquaintances who obviously don’t know us that well. We eloped to AVOID a big party. And I have zero regrets. I know people who have lost friends through the complex wedding planning and execution process. But I don’t know of anyone who lost a friend due to eloping, no matter how butt hurt someone got about not getting invited to a party!

Post # 37
42 posts
  • Wedding: June 2016

We eloped and just had a casual cookout at the park shelter. We called it an “I Do BBQ.” It was fun but if I could do it over again I probably would have used the extra $ to stay on our honeymoon longer and just sent an announcement! 

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