(Closed) Elopement or immediate family only?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You can elope… but the “wedding” later that you’re talking about, that would be a marriage blessing/vow renewal/recommitment ceremony/whatever.  If you’re married you can’t have another wedding.

If you want your nearest & dearest there with you when you exchange vows, maybe you could do the backyard wedding but not at a meal time.  Serve light appetizers or hors d’oeuvres, or do a brunch wedding, or do a later ceremony followed by a cocktail reception.  Food & drinks will be your biggest expense, so if you can trim the budget there, you can have a very nice event with your friends & family present.

Post # 4
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Alot of people actually have a pot luck, some people have posted negative things about it but most agree that especially (but not only) for a family only wedding it’s warm feeling and perfect. I’m thinking of either self-catering or a pot-luck because of moving costs, student debt and immigration fees. Since you want immediate family only I think inviting people to bring a dish as their gift is a great way to feed everyone yummy food and keep costs down. I’m definitely having DIY cake, just making 3 sizes and buying a 3 tier stand (aprox $40 for stand).

Post # 5
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Have you considered a ceremony/reception at a restaurant?  

Post # 6
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Having a budget wedding is totally doable!!! But, you do want to be realistic (that way you can budget properly.) That being said, what is your budget?  

I do have a few questions about items you may have left out (not sure if you are doing them, but if you are you want to be sure to include them in your initial budget.) For example: invitations? flowers/bouquet? seating at your ceremony? linens?

And honestly, I think your budget of $100 for the chair/table rentals will prob be right at $100 to seat 50 people, not including your diy centerpeices & pool lanterns.

If you are thinking about keeping costs low for food/drinks – you could do morning wedding, and keep food light by serving brunch food. Or have a dessert & drinks only type of reception.   

Post # 7
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If your family is able to make it to your intimate wedding, I would do that and then take them all out to a nice restaurant.  As someone else said, it could be brunch even which is cheaper.  The restaurant may even work with you to create a limited menu without prices for your tables.

I’d think about this redo wedding.  I think that only works if a) you truly eloped with no guests, b) need a spiritual wedding for whatever reason (I hear this is common in Europe).  You do only get one wedding day so think about how you want to spend it with what you can afford.

You could throw a celebration party in the future.  We are considering a celebration party on our one year anniversary only because our families have never met and probably will not unless we have a party for them to come to. 

Post # 9
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think the bbq sounds great, it looks like you guys would be able to pull it off easy. Don’t do the elopment with just you too if you feel you would regret it later. Lots of people do big vow renewals after their weddings.

Post # 10
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@arabesque0128:  If it’s very importan to you to have close family and friends there then there is absolutely no reason why you can’t do it cheaply–if you want your picture perfect princess-for-a-day experience then the cost can get out of hand very easily


A backyard BBQ sounds very fun–and you can always have a fancy vow renewal ceremony later when circumstances change


I live in a wealthy area now and weddings can be a very stuffy and showy event–but I grew up in upstate New York and the funnest and warmest weddings I’ve been to did not break the bank and were more about family coming together and celebrating–no caterers, bartenders, DJ, etc–but a lot of fun


The BBQ idea sounds great and it will make the experience a lot more comfortable and warm having it at your fiance’s parents’ house rather than a hall–I would actually prefer to have a wedding this way

Post # 11
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I also think you should just celebrate with the bbq- live everyday to the fullest. If you get married, you need to celebrate somehow that day…

I am glad I am not the only one struggling with this senario!

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