(Closed) Elopement or Intimate Wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: Should I elope or have an intimate wedding?
    Elope! : (34 votes)
    74 %
    Intimate wedding! : (12 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1188 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I say elope.  You obviously dont’ have much family support, so I say spend your money on a fabulous trip and say your vows somewhere you love without family drama and naysayers.

    Post # 4
    Member
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Would you be excited about having a wedding and being surrounded by these people? Do you have a strong desire to share that moment with others? Would you be happy spending the money on everything that is involved in hosting such an event? If so, have a wedding. If not, plan an elopement that will make you happy and let the chips fall where they may. You cannot control other people and their words/behaviors. All you can control is your own life and your responses to things. If you do what makes you happy and you learn not to let other people ruffle your feathers, you will be much more satisfied with your life and begin your marriage on your own terms.

    Post # 5
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I was going to tell you to elope until I read this: I worry that I’ll regret not having my parents walk me down the aisle, or not dancing with my dad.


    In your situation, I’d just go ahead and book it then tell the guests. Don’t let them meddle. Just tell them when and where they have to be. If you’re worried about numbers, make sure you book somewhere that will refund your deposit or let you transfer it to a nice meal for the two of you to celebrate your engagement/elopement/marriage.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2167 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @plainjane115:  Under these circumstances I vote for eloping. I really wanted to elope as well but even though we have only been together a year, our families are very supportive and beyond excited about us marrying, so I don’t see how we could not include them. We are instead having a small, intimate, family only wedding. If we were in a situation like yours however, we would elope in a heartbeat to save stress, aggravation and family drama.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @plainjane115:  I’m a Brit so apologies if this isn’t applicable but do you have public holidays where everyone gets the day off work where your from? Could you book your wedding then? Here, they are usually Mondays.

    Most of my guests will have to travel for our wedding but I’m planning on giving them 12 months’ notice so I think, if they want to come, they will.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Only you can answer your question about whether it’s worth it or not. What does your Fiance think?

    Post # 11
    Member
    2490 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    In your case I would elope!

    I really really really want to elope but our families are super excited for us and want to be there, so we have to go with a small intimate wedding. It’s proving to be a huge nightmare trying to coordinate everyone. I didn’t really enjoy planning my first wedding (too much drama and I didn’t care about the little details) and I’m not thrilled about doing it all again.

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    3368 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We eloped last Friday, and neither of us would have had it any other way! It was perfect with just us (and our baker, photographer, and of course officiant), and we don’t regret it one bit. We’ve only had issue with one family member, but we could care less because she has gotten on our bad side in the past few months anyway. 

    In your case, the family support isn’t there and you guys are going to get backlash no matter what. Why not run off and have a wonderful honeymoon or weekend away somewhere? We’re so happy that we did!  

    Post # 15
    Member
    8861 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @plainjane115:  

    just because you are jewish, doesn’t mean you can’t get married on saturday night, unless you are orthodox.

    you just have to wait until after sundown or find a reform rabbi. 

    sundown is around 7 when we get married, plus travel time for our rabbi and doing pre-wedding rituals would bring the start time close to 8pm for our ceremony.  since i wasn’t set on having my rabbi, we found a reform rabbi we like.  our ceremony starts at 6:30pm on a saturday night.

     

     

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