(Closed) Elopement then wedding celebration

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Careful about the wedding celebration months later, it will be seen as a “gift grab” unless you specifically write that you do not want gifts since guests will not be there for your wedding (and therefore should not be expected to bring “wedding gifts”). 

Post # 4
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ontbride:  We drove over 1500 km to get married near Field, BC.  Never been there, no relation to the place, other than it had spectacular mountains that we wanted to see.  We did invite H’s parents.  It was a 1280 km drive for them.  We gave them 2 weeks notice and we really expcected them to pass honestly.  To our surprise they said they would be there – they are super sweet.  It was just their 40th wedding anniversary the month prior, so we took them out for two very fancy dinners.  One at Cathedral Mountain Lodge and the other (wedding) at Emerald Lake Lodge.


So they were our two legal witnesses as required by BC law.  If they had not made the trek, it would have been our photographer and the wedding planner who signed the marriage license.


One month later, we did throw a very casual potluck party at our house.  It wasn’t the original plan (I was all set with just our elopement, but friends kept asking, “When’s the party???”).  Social potluck gatherings are very normal here.  It was a combo party – new deck, I graduated with my Master’s, we got married, fall is coming (aka the season before skiing).  I tried my best to not make it look weddingy.  I did not want people to get gifts.  We supplied two main dishes, all the alcohol, and people brought sides.  My graduate advisor wanted to brew me some beer for my graduation party so two mini kegs were present at the party.  No family were invited to this party, it was just for locals.  Family would have had to fly in anyway, and we only threw this together in a week.  I used Evite for invitations – nothing mailed.  It wasn’t that kind of party.


ETA: It is actually rude to include in writing “No gift please” because the mere mention of gifts, even no gifts, is very presumptuous and the poor etiquette part.   What you can do is let someone close know you don’t want gifts, and they can let the word spread by mouth.  Or if someone asks you straight up, “Did you register?”  You can tell them then, “Oh we just want your presence!”  Some people did bring us gifts.   Loke a jar of homemade jam or a bag of peaches from their yard.  Others did get us gifts like a BBQ smoker insert or nice glass tupperware.  It was all a surprise and you cannot always control people’s gift giving tactics.




Post # 6
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

i jsut did this!

We had a wedding ceremony and reception planned for november however i have always wanted to get married at sf city hall! soooo we decided to just elope at sf city hall last wednesday and we only had our photographer be our witness since we wanted it to be private…

We told our parents and close friends of this and made the announcement to all the day of.. 

Wedding ceremony or vow renewal and reception for november still on and nobody has a problem with it :)) If they do they can rsvp NO.. we don’t care since we are having the wedding that we want 




Post # 7
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

This is what we’re planning. We’re getting married in Europe, and sending out lovely wedding annoucements with an invitation to a reception at my parents’ house a few weeks later. We’re NOT registering so as to not seem like it’s gift-grabby, but I guarantee people will give us money anyway as my family is very warm and generous. 

We’re just going to throw a nice fun, semi-formal party (as in, not a backyard barbeque but not the black tie formal that our big wedding would have been) with awesome food and tons of booze. 

Post # 9
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

@ontbride:  For us, the big wedding ceremony would have been impersonal and more like a performance. A private ceremony with just us will be so much more emotional; I feel like I’ll be able to show my true emotions instead of people telling me how I should feel and how I should act. Plus the amount of drama is just ridiculous and neither of us are really particularly close to our families or siblings. 

For our reception we’ll probably just have a nice big family party at my parents’ house and get some awesome catering and lots of drinks (my SO is big into craft beer). I wanted to do our vows in both English and German but he’s not thrilled with that idea, haha. 

Post # 11
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

@ontbride:  Honestly, our families have involved us with so much drama and made things so difficult even before we’re engaged, that we honestly don’t even care. We wanted the $40,000 wedding until we realized that we would have to wait about a decade to save that up and that our families STILL wouldn’t stop fighting for that. So we said screw it! 

I am honestly scared to tell my mom because I’m scared she’ll be disappointed. I’m only worried about disappointing my mom, my grandma and my one aunt. Hopefully they’ll understand that we’re doing what’s best for us. I just don’t want to hurt them because everyone else would ruin our wedding. 

It’s our first marriage; I’m 21 and he is 23. We’ll be getting engaged next year and married within a year or two after that. No rush, we want to enjoy every second of it! 

Post # 12
34 posts
  • Wedding: November 2013

@musician32992 I think your idea is awesome (because its very similar to ours) haha.

Seriously, at 21 and 23, you guys could use $40,000 on something way more useful. My fiance and I want to save for a house and no one would have been footing the bill for our wedding, so the price of a wedding is the amount of a house deposit… so it was just logical to do the elopement and party later on. You hit the nail on the head… lots of awesome food and booze. I’m looking forward to that, and actually ATTENDING the party, I feel like when you’re the bride you miss out on letting loose and having a really good time with your guests!!!

Getting married in the courthouse in 109 days and cannot wait!

Post # 13
1270 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

My husband and I eloped. We might have a party or might not. Eloping technically means no one joins you! Other than your officiant etc.

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