Post # 1
Hi fellow bees,
My wonderful fiance proposed in July after 5 years together…I guess I always envisioned being engaged for about a year and marrying in Ireland where I’m originally from. Now that it comes to planning for next year (around Sept would be ideal) the responsibility of asking people to plan travel/buy tickets/go abroad is hitting and I just don’t think in Covid times it’s smart or realistic. I also don’t want the responsibilty of it all if flights have to be canceled etc for my guests. Fiance recently shared he’d like to start trying for a little one sooner rather than later, so thats a factor as I’m 34 this year and we want more than one.
I’m trying to wrap my head around a tiny elopement – his mom/dad/bro and mine. Thinking of Dec vs April vs just waiting til Sept. I work in healthcare with pregnant patients so I’m definitely on the careful side with covid – basically only out to grocery, work, occassional road trip to isolated place w/fiance. I find myself feeling so annoyed at people when I drive by restaurants and see them inside or even people I know camping together or others having baby showers in what I feel is irresponsible behavior that’s only going to make this uncertainty go on longer. I have moments where I wonder if I’m being too cautious but I really don’t think so. Kinda feeling like we’ll prob wait through the new year and plan for next fall but it does kinda feel like a long time to wait for an 8 person ceremony 😛
Just venting and wanting to feel a bit less alone. Any other brides to be feeling lonely and struggling during this time? What are some of the ways you’ve decided to change your plans that have let you get excited about things?
Post # 2
I don’t think there’s such a thing as “too cautious.” That said, a ten-guest family wedding seems less risky to me than a grocery store run with strangers.
If you’ve already resigned yourself to an elopment or micro-wedding rather than what you originally envisioned, why wait another year? Assuming family members are not immunocompromised and travelling isn’t required for them to attend, I’d give yourself a reasonable timeframe to coordinate and enjoy the planning process, albeit on a smaller scale.
Post # 3
i totally get you, bee. i am pregnant and my husband has asthma. so we have been super duper careful about covid right from the beginning. we too had to give up on our wedding and eloped instead earlier this year. what was sadder for us was that my parents lived abroad and they couldn’t even get a visa because the consulates do not issue visas now. not only my family couldn’t make the wedding, we don’t even know if they can make it here until i give birth. as for my husband, his family lives in the east coast. (we are in california.) unfortunately, his family couldn’t make our elopment either because both his parents are in the risk group. we just couldn’t make them travel accross the country and they didn’t want us to get on having a kid and other major life moves. neither did we. so we just did it with a couple close friends.
sometimes i do feel sad about giving up the wedding because my husband and I put so much effort into finding a venue, hiring vendors, picking out a dress and all that. but i must say that it is getting less of an issue as there is a child growing inside me and we are taking concrete steps for our future together.
i work on healthcare too (although i am more of a data scientist), and from what I gather next year around this time will not be too bad as far as quarantining and traveling goes. but that said, there may be more strict precautions to keep people in the risk groups safe unless the vacination highly efficient. in that regard, i wouldn’t feel comfortable neither my or may husband’s parents getting on a plane to come to our wedding. but saying this I am considering their age, their entire history of diseases, and their general wellbeing at this time. i wish you and your fiance the best of luck!
Post # 4
We have been engaged for over 2 years and in January we decided to have a fall wedding….jokes on us, right?
Then we decided we would do something small with my parents and his kids and maybe our siblings (keeping it at or under 10 ppl). My parents are both high risk and both his kids work out of the home and we just couldn’t figure out how to make it work without excluding someone.
Now we have made the decision to go to the court house alone and then go on a short “honeymoon” where we will get dressed up and get a couple pictures.
It’s not ideal, but I’m pleased with our decision.
Post # 5
I feel ya. I got engaged in March just as everything was going to shit. We never thought it would go on this long back then, so we immediately started planning for spring 2021. SO is Australian, I’m American, we live in the U.S. We planned a ceremony in Australia and then a reception in the U.S. Well, we recently decided to call it and cancel those plans. No way international travel will resume by March. All his family is in Australia still and can’t make it, but we decided to have a micro wedding and casual after-party with my close family and friends and zoom in his parents/siblings. Since it’s so small now, we moved it up to December because we’re also keen to start a family sooner rather than later. We will have a big, nice reception in Australia with his family and friends as soon as we’re able to do so- hopefully with a little one in tow by then. I’m quite happy with the new plan. It only sucks that his nearest and dearest can’t be there.
Perhaps you could do something similar? Microwedding now where you live, then delayed big reception in Ireland? Or maybe just a nice honeymoon there.
Post # 6
If you’re only planning on a micro-wedding/elopement, then why delay? Go ahead as soon as you can, and you can always have a vow renewal/party later to celebrate.
Our original wedding had to be cancelled as all weddings were banned in our country, even the most basic ones. We decided we’d get married as soon as restrictions lifted, so when our actual wedding took place, we had less than a week’s notice to prepare and it was very small and simple. But we have no regrets. Nothing beats starting our new life together.
So in your place, I’d get married asap!
Post # 7
I agree with pp, just get married as soon as. Why wait? You can do a reception/celebration in the future , you both want to marry soon, and you both want to TTC , so just do it. You can have a nice dress and flowers and all, just no guests, or very few anyway. . But don’t call it an elopement though, if you are having family there, it is just a small private wedding , not an elopement .