Post # 1
My fiance and I just recently became engaged and I’m struggling trying to find the ”perfect’ wedding option for me. I’ve considered having the typical large blowout wedding that both our families want, but I don’t see myself enjoying it. I’m a very private person, often prone to disassociating when I’m overwhelmed, and I know that I want to enjoy my ceremony to the fullest. (I notice that I typically change how I act/react based on who’s watching and what people are expecting from me, if only subconsciously.) I want it to be as authentic as possible during my ceremony especially, but I feel like if I want to keep it authentic, the most logical thing is to elope and give everyone else the ceremony they expect and want later.
I was mostly wondering if anyone else have had elopements or are planning to elope for similar reasons.
Post # 2
You could possibly do a very intimate, small ceremony followed by a larger reception. If you go that route, I’d say you should keep it to immediate family only at the ceremony itself or you run the risk of offending people who aren’t chosen to attend.
This is an option we’re considering for our own ceremony/reception, and for mostly the same reason as you. The thought of pouring my heart out to my Fiance (and probably crying) in front of a large audience makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide lol.
Post # 3
I was supposed to get married in December of this year, but due to a multitude of reasons. We have switched the date to July (in like 20 days). We are having an intimate ceremony the day before a big party for everyone else.
I feel though, that some people may ne a little offended. I cannot help their feelings. Only how I react. Just know some people will not be happy. But it’s your life and your marriage and that is what’s important.
Post # 4
ambern03 : My fiance and I are doing basically this in August, we’re going to the courthouse and getting married infront of 14 family members/friends and then the next day we are hosting a big party at a bar. We also didn’t like the idea of being up infront of so many people doing something so intimate even though all of our reception guests are close friends/family as well.
All of our family and friends thought our idea was great (unless they’re lying, who knows) and it’ll also save us a ton of money.
It’s your special day, so do what you and your fiance want!
Post # 5
Hi there! We are doing this – an elopement (with our familes’ knowledge) this summer followed by a ceremony and celebration a year later. This plan is based on: 1) I’m pregnant (yay!!) and we need to get the legal stuff taken care of this summer, but we and everyone else are too busy to plan an actual event this summer, 2) we’ve both been married before and neither of us wants to do a big event with tons of people, and 3) we (especially my guy) really do want our families involved at some point… he eloped for real the first time and it really hurt some of his immediate family. Unlike his first wife, I love his family and vice versa, and my family is awesome, so I’m glad that we can all be together for a celebration. And we’ll have our son then too, which will be really special <3
My advice would be to let your family know ahead of time and explain your rationale. Hopefully they will be understanding… it seems like they would, it’s a valid rationale and it’s YOUR choice to make! If not, their loss.
Post # 6
If you plan to do this, talk to your family in advance. My cousin’s son eloped two years ago and did not let anybody know, and when he finally had a party a lot of family members were VERY hurt they had not been included and he missed out on a lot of the joys of a wedding because of that. Most of our family members chose not to give him a gift but instead gave only gift cards. Even my aunt (his grandma) felt really awkward having to call up all her sisters to tell them her grandson got married and didn’t tell anyone! It was super cringey and I don’t think it was worth it to hurt everyone’s feelings. So be sure you communicate with EVERYONE!
Post # 7
We are getting married in a castle in Scotland this summer and then doing honeymoon in Ireland. It’s just the two of us and I can’t wait!
We’ve reserved the private room of a cool brewery in our city for a celebration a month and a half later. We’re inviting about 40 close friends and family members. It’s on the water, has a patio and a lovely, intimate room with limestone walls so a nice ambience.
This way is perfect for us, just what we wanted! Do what you want!
Post # 8
I am, yes. We’ll be getting married at the courthouse. We will not be having any type of reception or party. I’ve had social anxiety all my life and it’s really bad now. I’m also an introvert, so those two things together make a regular wedding day sound like actual torture to me. I’ve never wanted a typical wedding day even when I was young so it’s not out of the blue.