(Closed) Elopement Worries!!

posted 5 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I would just have the wedding that you want and ignore what they want since they are not paying for it and don’t seem to care what you want. Don’t let anyone take away the wedding that you want. Try not to hurt anyone. Be respectful.  If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of a wedding at all and want to elope I would do just that. Explain to them why you don’t want to have a typical wedding and that you’re not willing and shouldn’t have to pay for the wedding that they want you to have. I would expect to have some hurt feelings if you elope. My mother who eloped was upset when I just joked about doing it. 

Post # 3
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

We eloped. It was AWESOME. We had such a fantastic day. We started out planning a bigger wedding but then realised it just wasn’t for us so we decided to elope. We worried at first what everyone would think but then we thought it doesn’t matter. It’s OUR wedding day, we don’t care what anyone thinks. If anyone got upset over it then we would just deal with that afterwards. We did tell close family before hand though. No one has been upset about it, everyone’s actually been really supportive (unless they’re judging us secretly).

You’re not a terrible person. Having the wedding that you want doesn’t make you horrible. It needs to be something that will make the both of you happy not everyone else. 

Post # 4
248 posts
Helper bee

Have the wedding you want. me and my fiancé have decided to elope and couldn’t be happier. I wouldn’t want all that drama on my big day. 

Post # 5
214 posts
Helper bee

We started telling people we would elope every time they brought up a wedding (BEFORE we were even engaged!!) as a joke to get them to shut up. But once we were engaged and I was a bridesmaid in a few weddings we decided that we did actually want to elope.

We did tell them ahead of time, in a serious way/not a joke. I’m an only child so I felt it was unfair to leave my parents out of the loop of information. My Fi is the youngest and his parents and all his brothers (4!!) promptly said they would follow us and hide in the trees (mountain elopement). They don’t get to know any more definite plans because they don’t understand boundaries. I think they were joking, Fiance thinks they were joking. But they still don’t get to know when we leave or the exact locations we are going.

I wish I hadn’t told them so far in advance. We got engaged Dec. 2015, by the spring of 2016 we had told them that we were running to the mountains by ourselves to get married. We aren’t going on that trip until July 2017. That gave them about a year and half to get used to the idea, get mad, get used to it again, and get mad again, over and over and over again. We should have held off telling them until MAYBE now. Maybe.

We are going to get our intimate, peaceful day. We are starting off our marriage like we plan on continueing it. Our nuclear family first, compromise with parents/families afterwards. That may sound heartless to some but you can’t make everyone happy and why spoil that day for other people who won’t even appriciate how much effort it took you?

You do you.

Post # 7
7555 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
d0llydoolittle :  Sounds like a great idea. Do what makes you and your Fiance happy.

Post # 8
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Nothing wrong with eloping! I told our families point-blank that if anyone stirred up any drama whatsoever, we were eloping. Fortunately everyone has been pretty reasonable. 

If you’re eloping near your sister’s birthday, is it possible to wait a week or two to break the news to everyone? That way you won’t have to worry about any arguments or tension ruining her birthday. 

Post # 10
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
d0llydoolittle :  I’m a little confused. If you’re worried about family getting along and having a bad vibe then how is eloping and having a big party afterwards any different than just having the ceremony and reception together? It just seems like the issues you’re worried about will come up regardless. 

Post # 12
10631 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
d0llydoolittle :  

I’m still a bit confused. I thought  your original worry was about all the divorced parents and their inabilty to be civil  for half a day. And your mum being so difficult.

Even if  your wedding reception is very small,  they will all still be there won’t  they?

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