(Closed) Elopers and DW brides: did you (or will you) have shower?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
4056 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I having a Destination Wedding. I’m having a shower but am only inviting the people who are also invited to the wedding. I’m inviting about 25 but I expect 15-20 to attend the shower

Post # 4
8422 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

We had a Destination Wedding of only about 25 people and they all had me a shower at the resort once we were there bc all of my family was so spread out and it was the only time we’d all be together before the wedding! 

Not sure how I’d feel about getting invited to a shower and not the wedding….. I’d only invite the ones attending the wedding! 

To celebrate the occasion you could host a small reception once you get back which is what a lot of Destination Wedding brides do! 

Post # 5
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Getting married in Sweden and both my bridesmaids lives there, so I don’t really feel a need for either a bachelorette party or a shower. To be honest, if would feel way over the top to invite people to a shower and then expect them to travel so far to attend the wedding. To me, it feels a little greedy.

Post # 6
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

the only people who were invited to the shower were those who were invited to the wedding. The total was about 15 people 

Post # 7
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Ashley_P:  No, there was no bridal shower.  The people I would have invited all lived in different time zones anyway.  Plus you are not supposed to throw your own shower; someone does it in honor of you (not sure if you were talking about throwing your own shower).  I would not find it appropriate for this situation though, but if someone offered then I guess you could accept that as long as people knew it was an elopement.

You can plan a ladies night out or something – just don’t call it a bach party or a shower.  That is OK. Although if people have to fly in, I really would not bother organizing even that.

We did have a very casual potluck party one month after our wedding at our house.  It was to celebrate my recent graduation from graduate school, a new deck we added to the house, our marriage and end of summer hurrah.  I didn’t want it to be weddingy related only.  Just a celebration of many things.  Only local friends were invited – as we planned it in a week and all family lives in other states.


You could take said family members out to a nice dinner and make it your treat.  Bring in your own bottle of champange in and call it your progressive reception – have several and go to dinner with several friends!  Even it takes 3 different visits to see said family (because they are scattered), I’d do it 3x!


We are flying to see all the would be wedding guests at various times and making a 3 day weekend out of it (we had a Destination Wedding planned at one point).  We’ve already been flown to 3 states to stay with friends, and have 5 more states to go – then we’ll have visited everyone we would have wanted at a DW!

Post # 8
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

commenting to follow!

Post # 9
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I didn’t have a shower and we eloped.  However, we didn’t tell anyone we were eloping.  We had a  party 5 months after the wedding for friends and family.

Post # 10
1112 posts
Bumble bee

We considered eloping, or a family-only ceremony, and yes, we would have still had a shower and/or a reception (even if weeks after) to celebrate. Where I live, people would have offered to throw showers anyway, even if they weren’t being invited. I say go for it. Especially if you have someone willing to throw you one. I take that as a blessing – you have great people in your life who want to celebrate even if they cannot take part in ALL the festivities. 🙂

Post # 12
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Ashley_P:  I am eloping and can’t see having a shower. Showers are actually supposed to be thrown for you not by you. If you tell your friends and family your plans and they choose to throw you a shower that’s fine. Otherwise I say have a reception/party/dinner afterwards to make everyone feel included. 

Post # 13
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

We’re doing a Destination Wedding and I dont think I’ll be having a shower. I’d feel weird if people who aren’t invited to the wedding are invited for a shower. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth because of the whole gifts thing. I imagine my friends/bridal party will have a small dinner in my honor but I def am not having a full blown shower. 

Post # 14
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

no shower for me but fi’s co-workers are taking us to lunch this Friday

Post # 15
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We’re having a planned elopement/Weddingmoon and I’m struggling with letting my mom throw me a shower.  The etiquette police in my mind says no, but the rest of me says who cares?  Do it!  We don’t need or want gifts, but I wouldn’t mind a little celebration with my friends.  Then again, we’re having a small casual reception when we get back so I will still have that opportunity, shower or not.

A few years ago, I attended the shower of one of my friends who had a Destination Wedding.  I honestly didn’t think twice about whether or not I was invited to the wedding becuase I understood that it was a DESTINATION wedding and no one but her closest family members would be there.  I was just excited at the opportunity to celebrate some aspect of the wedding with her, you know?  I think the guests who would attend your shower would not be offended, provided they know that it’s a destination.  And those who do get offended?  They don’t have to come!

Post # 16
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

My mom is throwing me a shower and I’m having a destination wedding. Most of the people at the shower will be coming to the wedding or were invited to the wedding and couldnt come so I think it works out. I say go for it!!!

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