Post # 1
Hi so I am currently having massive family drama and my FH and I are considering eloping.
The full story is here if you want to read: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/need-advicewant-to-elope-but-it-will-make-things-worse
My question is, did you elope agianst family’s wishes. Did you do it in secret? How did your family react? Was there a big fight? Are you still welcome in your house?
Post # 3
I think there are several here that had opposing families wishes. I hope they can help! I cannot fathom someone not letting you into their home after eloping. My view is that you’re doing them a favor! They don’t have to take time out of work, find hotels (if needed), buy gifts. You just saved the hundreds of dollars really. Then again, my dad always said weddings are a PITA. “Elope and do everyone a favor,” he preached.
We did not get a lot of interest from family about a wedding (even an immediate family wedding), so for us it made the decision easier to elope – as in the only option really!
H’s parents were the only ones that could and did travel, so we only invited them to be our witnesses.
Post # 4
I read your other post, and it sounds like you have a couple of options.
1) Elope. After all, it’s your day, not theirs.
2) Have a traditional wedding, but don’t accept any of their money so they can’t derail your wants/ideas.
3) Scale back the wedding so that it doesn’t turn into a 3-ring circus. There are no rules regarding how many people are in the wedding party, how old they have to be, etc. If your fiance wants his 14 year old brother, he should. I also don’t agree with someone being baptized just for the sake of getting married. In my mind, they should be doing it because they believe it’s what they should do. But that’s just my opinion. Sounds like your fiance is having a lot of things pushed on him (and you are as well by your family).
I eloped, but nobody knew about it. They were shocked, but happy when they found out. I’ve been married before, so they were just happy that we were happy. It wasn’t against anyone’s wishes because nobody knew.
I can’t imagine telling my child he/she is not welcome in my home because they eloped. At the end of the day, it’s about your happiness, and it should be more important to them to have a good relationship with you than to be petty that things didn’t go their way.
Best of luck!
Post # 5
@sydneybridetobe1991: I would just tell them “Look, you took all the fun out of the wedding process. We eloped because it seemed our only option.”
Put the guilt back on them if you get any lip.
We’re eloping but not really against family’s wishes. More like the family would complain either way so it’s no win! I doubt they’ll care that much, though.
Post # 6
@sydneybridetobe1991: Any updates? I remember your past threads about this.
Post # 7
Post # 8
Thank you all for sharing. 😀
We’ve decided to get married in NZ! I’m so excited. Don’t know yet if it will be next year or the year after we will have to have a sit down and actually decide what WE want for our own wedding.
He asked me last night and I actually drew a blank because I’ve never even considered being able to have a say in my wedding. I’m so excited!
Post # 9
Does that mean you are eloping, or just doing things your way?
Good for you though! I’m glad you are excited, as you should be!
Post # 10
well we don’t really know yet.
We actually have the opportunity to plan our own wedding! Something that we haven’t even bothered contemplating before.
I would like it to be more of a celebration or party rather than a formal wedding.
So I don’t know yet. We might have a small ceremony on the beach and something like a barbeque or backyard party after that.
I suppose that’s what my future posts will be about 🙂
Post # 11
I have friend who eloped to NZ (they are Americans). It was on our list at one point!