(Closed) Eloping

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, it is selfish, BUT THAT’S OKAY!  It sounds like your mom has major control issues and just wants to plan the wedding the way she wants.  I know I’d either be eloping pronto (and she can help plan the party or throw you a party of her own after) or be putting your foot down hard core about what you and your Fiance want.  Yes, weddings are about families too, but you don’t want to be looking back and regretting the way everything went and resenting your mother for her involvement.

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

No. No. No. YOU ARE NOT SELFISH FOR WANTING TO ELOPE!!! 

The people who are expecting you to have a wedding you do not want are the selfish ones!!! Definition of selfish:”devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests…regardless of others.” That is exactly what people are doing when they push you towards something you do not desire-it’s what they want. A wedding is not about traditions and bridemais and this and that. No amount of traditional wedding things is going to make it better if it’s not what you want. A wedding is about TWO people coming together and joining their lives. You get to make the choice on how to make that happen.

Here’s a thread about why some of us chose to elope. 

Post # 5
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think its selfish for wanting to elope!!! Do iit if it’s what you really want!!!!

Post # 6
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

DO IT!!!!!!!  I’m so jealous since I wanted to do that.  I think people tend to forget that a wedding is about the bride and groom and everything else is at their discretion. 

Post # 8
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sallyq5:  Wait till afterwards; even if you’d have the support of his family, you’ll ruffle more feathers if one set of parents knew first.  

Post # 9
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am eloping as well just having our parents witness our ceremony and was told I was being selfish by a couple of cousins and aunts.  It is totally NOT selfish. It is YOUR marriage and YOUR wedding. I personally didn’t want to pick up the tab for people to party, get fed, and get drunk on my dime! I just dont believe in wasting 50K on one day where i could spend that on a down payment on a house! My parents would not be able to contribute much so me and my fiancé would pick up the tab. As long as the most important people in our lives are there, that’s all we care about. You should do whatever you want. People who truly love you will be happy for you and congratulate you on your new chapter. Congratulations! I think you should do it, I truly think that is what you want to do. People will eventually get over it. 

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