Post # 1
My fiancé and I would like to elope. In fact, I was never the kind of person who dreamed of having a wedding and rather found the idea of running away to be married in secrecy, kind of romantic and exciting. My fiance is in total agreeance but the problem is twofold.
His immediate family will never forgive us (or probably me) , irrespective of our wishes and secondly, he is happy to elope anyway. That he feels the same way and wants to elope is very nice…..but what of my future relations with the in-laws if we go ahead?
His family are nice people but I don’t think they will ever understand not being invited.
Should I let him go ahead and have the wedding we both want or keep the peace with his family?
Any suggestions would be appreciated
Post # 3
@Shannyn5: what about a very small destination wedding with only immediate family, then heading off for your own honeymoon?
Post # 4
What about doing something different like a surprise wedding? It’s still fun and different and you could just surprise immediate family. My sister in law sent out a couples shower invite then surprise!
Post # 5
We’d really rather be by ourselves.
In addition, inviting immediate family only, poses a bit of a prob. Does that include grandparents? and if so, there are going to be alot of other closely realted people who’ll be insulted not to get an invite. For example, cousins that my fiance has grown up and are still as close as siblings. Where doess it end?
We just want to be alone on that day but any time we’ve even hinted at the idea, his just mother cries and I inevitably feel sorry for her.
It seems crazy to me that we cannot even set a date until this is resolved.
Post # 6
Well you do need two witnesses most likely wherever you are eloping to. When people go totally alone, usually it’s the photographer as one witness and the officiant’s spouse as the other (just as examples). His parents could be your two witnesses, if you want to look at it that way (or you aren’t using a photographer). Take them to dinner afterwards and then send them on their way!
Perhaps if you let them be the witnesses, outline specifically when their part comes in. As in she doesn’t get to hang with you all morning as “the girls,” you want to get ready alone, etc. – the ceremony is at X time and the dinner is at Y time. Then they get to see a wedding and you get your witnesses and nearly all the day alone.
I would not start including grandparents and cousins if you’re considering immediate family at all. That’s extended family in my book!
Post # 7
Awhh man, this sounds like a toughie! we’re eloping..well kind of…both of our parents will be present. i think that maybe your future in laws need to compromise a bit. it is your day, and if it is what you want then why not? Having them there to be your witnesses sounds like a good plan!
Post # 8
You’re an adult. If you can’t take the criticism from his family then don’t elope. If you can take it, then do what you want.
Post # 9
You have to do what ultimately makes you & your Fiance happy. No one is always going to be happy with your plans whether you are eloping or having a big, elaborate ceremony. You will always have to deal with others opinions. The most important thing is follwing your heart. I’m sure if you two were to elope, his family would be upset, but they would come around.
Post # 10
How about elope but plan a big reception when you get back?
Post # 12
Elope! It’s YOUR wedding, not theirs! They will get over it and tell them they are more than welcomed to throw y’all a party afterwards!