(Closed) Eloping and then having a wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

It’s not wrong as long as you aren’t deceptive. I just have a personal problems with lies and deceit. Having a wedding and pretending like you aren’t already married just bothers me.

But having a reception and/or a vow renewal after eloping? No problem there as long as you are honest with your guests.

If I were in your shoes, I’d send out elopement announcements, and include something about how the recipient will be invited to a celebration on whatever date later on.

But that’s me.

Post # 4
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My Christian aunt married a Hindu, and they had 2 wedding ceremonies, one for each religion. They had them in fairly quick succession, though, like the same day or week. So if you want to have a Hindu wedding, that makes sense to me and probably will to your family. What I, personally, don’t like is when couples sensibly have the wedding they can afford (like your elopment), and then have another, opulent wedding a couple of years later when they are richer. It seems like wanting it both ways; the practical, economical wedding, and the crazy expensive, showy wedding. It seems to me like, if you graduated college but only your aunt could come and you just went out to dinner to celebrate, telling everyone else that you still had a couple of credits to go, then wearing your robes at a huge fake graduation party two years later so you could have a big bash.  

Post # 5
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree that you shouldn’t pretend you’re not married and have a ceremony when you really are. I could see a vow renewal/reception more like a party than a wedding. I personally wouldn’t go to a wedding ceremony for someone whose already married bc I don’t see the point. But a vow renewal celebration would make more sense, without all the “wedding” traditions

Post # 8
Member
3211 posts
Sugar bee

@mcp3x:  I see nothing wrong with having a second wedding. Like PP said, just don’t be deceitful.  Let others know that you are legally married but are saving up to have the wedding of your dreams. With the cost of weddings, I feel like people should understand. 

Post # 9
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mcp3x:  I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a second ceremony as long as you are honest with your guests that you are already married. I am sure the people that you and your husband are closest to would understand behind the reasoning for the elopement. And if it is important spiritually for you two to be married in a religious ceremony that is line with your religious background, I would say go for it. You should do a ceremony and a reception that you didn’t have with your elopement according to what is most important and valued between you and your husband. 🙂 good luck. 

Post # 10
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@mcp3x:  In that case, just go ahead as planned. 

Post # 11
Member
578 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mcp3x:  It was the same for me.  I got legally married 2 months before my wedding, but we didn’t consider ourselves to be married until the actual wedding, which was much more important to us.  We didn’t tell anyone when we got legally married because what mattered to us was the spiritual marriage, and declaring our vows in front of our family and friends.  We didn’t even have vows at our legal ceremony (which was just signing a paper) so we couldn’t have a vow renewal.  

Some people consider the legal ceremony to be what defines being married, some people consider the spiritual ceremony to be it.  If the legal ceremony doesn’t mean anything to you, I don’t think you should have to tell people about it.

The topic ‘Eloping and then having a wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors