I am and Encore Bride (first wedding circa 1980) and Mr TTR an Encore Groom
So we have both had the Big White Pouffy Family Wedding before.
We knew when we decided to marry, that having another one wasn’t for us… with our kids grown (20s and 30s) and Elderly Parents… and a lifestyle that allows us to enjoy travelling… it just made sense that we’d MAKE THE COMMITMENT somewhere nice when we were “on the road”
Lol, surprisingly… Our Families have balked (as well as our friends)
They’ve all been very supportive of us, and OVER THE MOON since we told them we are engaged and planning to get married.
And they have ALL asked us … almost immediately WHEN, WHERE…
When we tell em, they’ve all come back without a blink saying “OK, I’ll have to get some time off… but I think I can wing it” (Honestly quite a surprise to us)
So we’ve been put into the position time and time again of saying…
“Sorry, but it’ll be just the two of us… we plan to elope… and say our vows alone together on the beach… very low key”
Then there is obvious pouts… sometimes pleading words.
But we’ve stuck to our guns.
Where we have softened tho is the fact that we’ve now agreed to have a Back Home Reception Party afterwards… so that everyone can get together and celebrate with us (Cocktails & Nibbles – Cake & Champagne – DJ & Dancing… and a whole lot of LOVE and FUN too)
I really have no regrets eloping. Infact I cannnot wait. It will be nice to just be the two of us and the officiant (Florida is a NO Witness needed state) standing on the beach gazing into each other’s eyes, and saying our vows. Followed by an incredible honeymoon.
Still tho, I have to say that the Back Home Reception is more work than I initially expected (my fault… as I’ve fallen in LOVE with so many great ideas here on WBee). But I know in the end it’ll all be worth it.
Hope this helps,
PS… For comparisson sakes… My 1st Wedding, and I’d say that the bulk of the money spent was by my Parents… and that was for The Sit-Down Reception – Transportation – Flowers – my Hair – and My Dress.
My Ex-H and I covered Gifts for our Bridal Party – Wedding Attire / Accessories – Some Flowers & Decor – Photographer & Pictures – DJ – Cocktail Bsr – Wine with Dinner – and our Honeymoon. As well as our Rings (including my E-Ring)
This time round…
Our greatest expenses are my E-Ring – Wedding Bands – B&G Gifts – and our Honeymoon. The actual Ceremony and related items (Wedding Attire, Flowers, Photographer / Videographer & Pictures) is relatively small. The Reception which was by far the biggest expense last time, will come in mid-range this time.
I see it as a different focus… being older, and having been married before… we’ve decided to alot our money differently… this time on things that are more meaningful to the two of us with long-term great memories… Rings & Honeymoon… with our Photographer / Videographer & Pictures rounding out the mix.
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EDIT TO ADD – Eloping has an added benefit as many a Bride has discovered. A great deal of drama surrounding a Wedding comes from Planning to make everyone in the family comfortable. When you elope some of that stuff goes away / subsides… certainly surrounding differences in religions etc as one isn’t marrying necessarily in a church / home parish / congregation etc.
And Back Home Receptions are a lot more relaxed… and can be WHATEVER you want them to be (no BIG Rules of Etiquette for this type of party)… so that takes some of the stress / tension out of the mix too. BIG Reception, or small… Formal or informal… day or night, sit down dinner or just Champagne & Cake. Full blown Wedding Attire or very casual. YOU really and truly do get to decide.
Personally I think that Elopements are great… although if a gal hasn’t been a Bride before in a Big White Pouffy Family Wedding… then that is just as valid (just a lot more stress inducing in my experience)