(Closed) Eloping but worried about F.M.I.L’s reaction

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you should elope. It’s what you both wanted from the start. You did it her way and planned a wedding and she bailed, her fault not yours.

I would elope somewhere and share the news upon return from your honeymoon. If she gets upset explain you planned the wedding she wanted and she bailed so you wanted to get married. Whats done is done so she’ll just need to get over it.

Post # 4
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

100% agree with Soon2beeMrsM!

 

Post # 5
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

I think it is your fiance’s job to worry about how his mom will feel, not yours. So if he is ok eloping without his mother, then just go for it.

What do you have planned for the elopement? Are you going to go to town hall or some exotic location? One idea would be to elope out of the country and then have it made legal at the court house with his mother present.

But I think since you already tried once to involve her, you have done enough. Now you can just do what you want.

Post # 6
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We just decided to cancel our wedding and elope as well. Not because of Future Mother-In-Law, but more for financial reasons and partly due to Future Father-In-Law, too.

She won’t be able to say much after you elope. She can be happy for the two of you and move on or not. Your wedding should be about the two of you and celebrating your marriage. She made it clear she couldn’t participate, so do what makes your heart sing and don’t worry about anyone else.

Post # 7
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Eloping sounds like the way to go.  Where in Colorado will you be marying?

Post # 9
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I wanted to elope, but we’re having a wedding of 80-90 for his mom! She was so upset when he told her we were eloping she cried and said he is her only son and its  not fair for her not to see him get married. So since she is going through depression, we are doing it for her but mostly of course for ourselves.  And we are paying for everything ourselves!

Post # 10
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Leafy, I don’t think I would tell her before, just because she might ruin your happiness with pleas to reschedule your wedding etc. I think you should go, enjoy yourself and have your Fiance tell her upon return. It is his mother so he should be the one primarily dealing with her tantrums.

Post # 11
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I sort of eloped.  We were planning a wedding and it just got out of control so we decided to get married 2 weeks later.  We had a few friends and a few family members with us at the court house during the ceremony.  After the ceremony we took everyone out to dinner.  It was amazing.  Why not consider asking her and a few others to come?  If they don’t they don’t but atleast they won’t be upset with you.  Good Luck!

Post # 13
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

Given that you both origianlly wanted to elope, and the current family situations, I would definitely elope.

Fiance and I are both the first weddings in each of our families, and we ended up planning a big wedding instead of eloping like we both wanted. I’m mostly on board now, but have finally had to stop daydreaming about scraping all of our plans to elope now that invitations are in the mail.

I would do what you both want to. Especially if you are paying for the wedding. You should have what you want for your wedding.

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