Post # 1
We plan on eloping in May. We will be going to Vegas for a couple of days with my sister and her BF. I have told her out plans but not anyone else. My plan was to get married and the same day send out an elopement announcement. This way by the time we get back to town everyone should know. I am wondering if I should call a few close family members and tell them as soon as possible. My family gets really Insulted if they are not included. And I can’t really trust anyone in my family to keep their mouth shut and allow the announcements to get where they need to go before the phone calls start. I may just call my mom and tell her not to tell anyone. I would hate for someone to tell her we did it before I could.
Post # 3
I think having your wedding annoucements ready to mail the very next day will take care of others finding out through others. Everyone will hopefully get them in the mail about the same time assuming.
So you are worried about telling your mom in advance for fear she’ll be spreading the word before others get their annoucement?
Which do you thik would be easier for your family – telling them before or after? Will they try to impede on your day if they know the info prior?
Post # 4
With my mom I think she can keep it a secret. It will only be for a couple of days so it shouldn’t be to hard for her. I will as her not to mention anything until people start calling and asking if it was a joke. Lol.
As for the rest of my family I’m torn. My grandma is a huge part of my life. Our 2 year old is even named after her. I believe she will be hurt initially but be ok because in the announcement I hope to also have a date set for a reception. As for other members of the family some may be insulted and offer rude comments as to why I told so and so but not me. We live in So Cal and I have family all over Alaska, Arizona, Texas, Washington, and of course CA. My fiancé only has his mom, stepdad and brother. I don’t think they will be upset. As for my dad, I’m not really close to him. He ended up showing up in a tux at my sisters wedding expecting to walk her down the aisle. Didn’t happen, and I don’t want that at my wedding. In addition, I know that some family in CA and AZ will Want to be there for the ceremony. It’s only a 5 hour drive for most. I really don’t want that. And would feel extremely rude saying I don’t want you to be there.
So maybe in the long run it will be better to not tell anyone until the announcements are sent. I even thought about sending them before we got married. I plan on a evening wedding and was going to send them out that morning. That way they will be on their way and hopefully be to most people the next day so they have a couple of days to let it soak in before we get home.
Now that there is more backround on this I would appreciate some additional advice.
Post # 5
I think maybe tell your mom, grandma, and FI parents and swear them to secrecy. I’m a mom of two adult sons and I would feel sad that I couldn’t be with them in spirit for their wedding.
Parents and your grandma, in my opinion, should be accorded the honor of you telling them.
Post # 6
I think it would be a good idea to tell immediate family. But tell them to keep quiet so the announcements can be read by everyone. Congrats, and best wishes!
Post # 7
I agree with Pamelor. We are telling his mom and I have already told my 2 BFFs… that’s it.
If I end up with a cell phone picture I may email it to some of our closest family and friends as an “announcement” but we’re not mailing out anything formal (nor are we having a reeption).
Also we are waiting a full week to change our FB status so we have time to reach out to family and friends that we wanted to tell personally after the fact.
Post # 8
As I read these comments I think I should at least call a few people after the fact And a mass text to the rest Followed by a snail mail announcement. I still don’t know if I want to tell anyone before hand. I know my family, and I can hear them saying ” we can be there in a few hours, wait for us”. And if we we’re to say no I can only imagine the glances and trash talking that would be going on. Not to mention down the line, hearing “didnt allow us at your wedding” most likely for years to come.
As for his mom, step dad and his brother i will have to leave this entirely up to him.
Post # 9
I like the idea of telling the people closest beforehand. Maybe being in the loop will make them feel special enough so that there wont be a bunch of hard feelings about not being included.
Post # 10
@AquabatsCadet: firstly, congrts on your elopement, thats what we’re prob going to be doing as we’re both very private people. in truth, i’d stick with the original plans, tell everyone at once. no one can claim they weren’t in the know. Its your day, do it your way. i’m from canada and would loveto go to vegas to be married, but there are so many choices lol
Post # 11
I know thats a tough call, we had three very different reactions from parents. My mom was great and totally understood that we dont want any family there. My dad asked me to get air and hotel prices for him. My fiancés mom cry and said that we planned it that way for the sole reason that she would not be able to attend.
If you want your mom to know, maybe tell her the day before you guys leave.