(Closed) Eloping less important?

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wasn’t ever in this situation but I can see why it would definitely make you upset or hurt your feelings.  What would I do? I would just tell them the truth.  “It’s still my wedding–the only one I will ever get.  I want it to be perfect, no matter who is there.”


Plus–the pictures are what you will remember and take home and why not make them beautiful!?

Post # 4
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve heard this a bunch. It’s yours, do it your way–that’s the right way.


People are insensitive about everything related to weddings whether you’re having  a huge party, or eloping with just two witnesses. Try not to take their comments personally and do your wedding the way you want to do your wedding.



Post # 5
7770 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am sorry people say stuff like that to you.  People ARE really insensitive.  I don’t think they understand how much a wedding (however big or small) means to those going through it.  ellabee is right- people will be insensitive no matter what you try to do!  Your wedding is no less important if it is two people.  Maybe those making the comments are being passive-aggressive or jealous or hurt (because they would rather have you do it their way, maybe they wish they had done that).  Maybe they just aren’t thinking about what they are saying.  Let their rudeness stay with them, don’t take it in as personal or a reflection of your choices.

Post # 7
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

wow, so sorry that people have said such insensitive things! that’s ridiculous, your wedding is just as important.

Post # 8
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Loribeth: I’m so sorry that you’ve had to listen to those remarks, they are so wrong and unnecessary! I haven’t personally experienced that situation, but I have a close friend who is getting married at the courthouse in February (his Fiance is from Chile, so they want to have their “big” wedding there when they can afford it) and he’s received some of the same comments you two have.

I completely disagree with what those people have said to you — it’s your WEDDING and regardless of how small it is, it is going to be one of (if not THE) most important day(s) of your life!! And it should be treated as such.  

My friend is hiring a photographer & album, his Fiance is getting a beautiful wedding dress and veil, she’s carrying a bouquet and they’re doing a smaller dinner “reception” for close friends and family.

Try your best to ignore those snarky comments and realize that they probably just don’t understand the situation or how you may feel about it.

And this is just for you: CONGRATS! CONGRATS! CONGRATS! YOUR WEDDING DAY WILL BE BEAUTIFUL, SPECIAL, AND THE MOST EXCITING DAY EVER (regardless of how many guests or details there are) BECAUSE IT’S YOUR DAY!!

Post # 11
49 posts
  • Wedding: December 2010

My fiance and I are going to Hawaii and it will just be the two of us. I get insensitive comments too and even though I try not to let them bother me, they sometimes do.  I didn’t have a bridal shower or a bachelorette party because my wedding, “isn’t a real wedding”. We are having a photographer and a videographer. I ordered a small cake for my fiance and I, i’m carrying a bouquet, and I’m wearing a “real” wedding dress, not just a destination dress. I figure it’s my wedding and whether I have 100+ people there or not, it shouldn’t matter. It’s my day. So, you aren’t the only one. We are both going to have wonderful special exciting days! No matter what anyone else says! =)

Post # 12
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I actually got the opposite–“but you’re going to at least get a dress right?” “Are you getting flowers?” My crowd was excited for it!

But it totally sucks when people belittle your plans. The best revenge? Get a kickass photographer who will get you in all your glory on the beach at sunset (or on the Vegas strip or wherever you’re going). You’ll have a beautiful setting and the pictures will have an amazingly intimate vibe.

But here, I’LL do the asking, since I LOVE elopements!: What’s your dress going to look like? Are you going to get your hair done? What are you guys going to do after your ceremony–my friends who eloped hired a private chef to cook them dinner which sounded fabulous! Tell the Bees! We love details!

Post # 13
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I can definitely relate, Loribeth.

We’re eloping because neither of us are keen on the stress and expense of planning a full wedding, and because most of FI’s family and friends are overseas, so few of them would be able to make it anyway. Also, I’ve dreamed of eloping since I was 16. I think it’s so fun and exciting to start our marriage while on an adventure! FI’s parents eloped when they got married, so Fiance and his parents also think it’s a great idea.

When we told my very good friend about our plans, she acted as though we’d just told her something terrible and tragic happened. I kept trying to explain to her that we want to elope and we’re actually really excited about it, and she kept shooting down our reasons and refusing to believe that we were actually happy. After about five minutes of this, I was like, seriously? Why am I defending myself to you??? She eventually apologized but it still stings when I think about it.

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