Post # 1
Since etiquette dictates that women who elope shouldn’t (1) register for gifts (2) get thrown a bridal shower or (3) have a bachelorette party (at least that’s what I learned from this site), I’m wondering if any of you did anything special for yourselves to celebrate your upcoming wedding? Like buying yourself a special wedding gift or having a spa day.
Post # 3
@mseagles: I am eloping but I know the ladies at work want to throw me a shower. They are such a fantastic group of women that I know it would be more for a fuax pas to say no than to graciously and guiltily accept. I am not having a bachelorette party as such, but my best friend and I are taking an epic road/camping trip prior to my wedding. Do whatever makes sense for you. 🙂
Post # 4
@mseagles: we are throwing an engagement party with a large group before we each head out for “mini” bachelor/bachelorette parties.
Post # 5
@mseagles: I think maybe I had a facial – it was my first time and it was delightful! I don’t think it was planned as a pre-wedding treat, but it worked out that way.
The ladies at work did throw a nice little lunch for me (a potluck kind of thing). That was sweet of them.
Other than that, I did not have much time. We booked our elopement vacation only 17 days before the wedding date and were leaving for the trip with 14 days’ notice. We had a lot of running around to do. LOL
Post # 6
@mseagles: My BFF is sorta eloping (parents, brothers & I will be the only guests) but she’s doing a big reception a couple months later. She registered & we’re throwing her a bridal shower. Reading the Bee, I realize this may not be great etiquette-wise, but no one has complained.
I say you can still have the celebratory bonding time by having a spa day with some of the women closest to you. Or you could have sort of a bon voyage party before the wedding.
Post # 7
@mseagles: my coworkers and bosses threw me a shower at work.and i made a special day for myself where i got my nails,feet,and eyebrows done and had a few margaritas alone.turned out great
Post # 8
If people know about it (and you are talking about it enough that you don’t mind them throwing you a public party), it’s probably not an elopment. it’s a small destination wedding. Eloping is running away – getting married in secret, and then telling the world! I am eloping abroad. A few close friends know what I have planned, because I really need someone to bounce ideas off of, and I am terrible at secret keeping, but they all know it is an elopement, so we won’t be having pre-wedding events. Sure – I will miss out on spending that time celebrating with them, but not wanting a lot of presents and fanfair is why I chose to elope.
Post # 9
@jennathehun: my husband would so love your thoughts on this lol
Post # 10
@mseagles: nope we just enjoyed our day…which was great
Post # 11
Just the 2 of us are eloping 2 hours from home. The venue and weekend hotel with a 5 star restaurant dinner have all been pre-reserved. I’ve ordered flowers for the chapel/hotel room (they’ll do double-duty), a bouquet and boutoniere. I’m wearing a navy knee-length lace dress and he a blazer and slacks w/tie. No one knows except my adult daughter, I have no other family to tell. His side won’t know until we send out announcements after the weekend. He’s bought my ring, but we haven’t announced an engagement and since I plan on wearing just a wedding ring in the future, I won’t receive it until the ceremony. Waiting is the hardest part because that ring’s so beautiful and everyone does always ask “when are you two getting married.” Our honeymoon is one month later when we cruise to Alaska. The wedding date is set because I want to mary on my birthday, he’s the best present I’ve ever had.
With all that said, I believe eloping means it’s a secret between you & him, in the past it was probably based more on spur of the moment and controversial unions. But now, I think it has more to do with couples who do not wish to have a lot of attention and fuss. Or like us, older couples anticipating our own children’s future weddings and the excitement that they will bring to our family. So for you youngsters out there, Yes! your family will miss the event, but there are many ways to celebrate afterwards while keeping it quiet beforehand, if you truly want to elope.
Post # 12
PS, don’t expect to register for gifts, it’s not polite in this situation. You may consider adding a note about supporting your favorite charity if you have one, or the youth group or mission outreach at your church, etc.
Believe me there will be many friends/family that will send you gifts regardless and the worst thing that happens is support for a good cause is shared in your honor!