(Closed) Eloping or an actual wedding in front of a lot of people…I need advice please!

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

What about a compromise between the two? Either a very small wedding with just a few close friends and family, or an elopement with a reception sometime later.  You’d still be including the important people by celebrating your marriage, even if they aren’t there for the actual ceremony. You could even incorporate your bridesmaids into helping you plan the party or a bachelorette night out or whatever. That way they would still feel included.  

The most important thing to remember is that this is about what you and your Fiance want, not what anyone else expects. If you decide elopement is the best thing for you, then people will have to come to terms with it. Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

If you read my previous post I just went through this exact same thing!! we got swept up in everyones excitement and planned a wedding we really didnt want. we are now going away with just our parents and doing a dw just the 6 of us in las vegas! what we always wanted 🙂 I found out quickly that everyone was super supportive and just wanted us to be happy, it is our day!! go with your heart, people will be happy for you regardless

Post # 4
Member
42 posts
Newbee

I’m going through the same thing. From the day we got engaged, we have always planned on having a beach destination wedding. But, that also means that many people, (like his grandparents and my mom) won’t be able to attend. My Mom is fine with it as long as we have a reception back home. I am more stressed about the 150+ people who would want to attend the reception back home. It makes me really want to keep extending the engagement for another couple of years.

Post # 5
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

aproveaux:  we had started the injtial planning, and then eloped while on vacation because it was what we wanted. for family, we may be doing a small reception/getting vows blessed 

Post # 7
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

DaniAnnie:  we got married by a jp! we and our families are christian, so we wanted a pastor to bless our vows! 

Post # 9
Member
42 posts
Newbee

slinktobee:  Oh, ok! My FI’s grandfather was a pastor for most of his life, retired now. That might be a great idea for him to bless our vows at our hometown reception!

Post # 10
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

DaniAnnie:  we decided to do that because some people felt not included, and we didnt want to do a regular ceremony bc that made us feel like we werent actually married until we did it for them (some family thinks you arent married until its a church wedding). so we met in the middle for everyone! 

Post # 11
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Little Chapel of Flowers

Elope and have a party for friends and family later.  Its a lot less pressure.  Thats what I am doing.  We are going to send the invitations to our Elopement Party from Vegas after we get married.

Post # 12
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

Go with your gut.  Just because everyone else wants you to do something doesn’t mean you have to do it.  So sit down with your Fiance and have a serious converstaion about what you both want.  And if that means that you elope then that is what you should do.  Remember you only get one wedding and it should be the wedding you and your Fiance want, not the wedding your friends and family want.

Post # 13
Member
22 posts
Newbee

If you are religious and religious weddings aren’t recogniwed in your country: do both.

If you are not religious but still want the vows, ring exchange and a more bespoke ceremony, elope for the civil wedding and do a symbolic ceremony with guests, cocktail, dinner, reception etc.. 🙂

 

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