(Closed) Eloping- Should we annouce or not (A little long)

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
50 posts
Worker bee

Sorry you’re going through such a difficult time! It sounds like you and your almost husband have already had to support one another through life’s challenges (and having a family too!). Seems like you are a strong, cohesive team already, which bodes well for your marriage.

Now whether or not you share your plans with others is entirely up to you. If as you say, you anticipate a lot of backlash from your loved ones and see no way around it, it may be better to wait until afterwards to tell them when they can’t ruin your day. If however, you think they may come around, telling them before will avoid some of the left-out feelings. 

I hope that your people can see that this is what’s best for you and support you in your decision. My fiancé and I are having a planned elopement and telling people about it beforehand. I was shocked that my mother and sister were so supportive of my fiancé and I excluding everyone from our moment, so perhaps your family might surprise you too? I haven’t told my dad yet, and think he will make a big fuss, but he’s not paying for it, so it’s none of his business and I’m willing to deal with his selfish drama.

Whatever you decide to do, it is a difficult decision but you and your family need to do what is best for you. The two of you already share a life and family, so it’s time to say poopoo to unsupportive loved ones and focus on yourselves and your kids.

Best of luck!

Post # 3
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

No reason to tell them before hand.  As long as neither sides of your family is represented at the elopement, I dont see a problem.

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