eloping/small wedding "family" list?

posted 2 years ago in Elopement
Post # 16
14 posts

I’m in a very similar situation except FH has a traditional family of 2 parents and 4 siblings (+ 1 niece so far), while I am the only child of divorced parents and am estranged from my dad. Neither of us ever wanted a big wedding with all those eyes on us. We thought about immediate family only, but that would mean he’d have 7 people and I’d only have my mom. I don’t want my mom to feel really awkward, and I know she would even if she tried not to, and that would take me out of the moment and have me worrying about her instead of enjoying everything. I could invite a couple cousins to make it easier for her, but then FH has cousins/grandparents that might be offended they didn’t make the cut. Also, we’re both awkward about spilling our romantic guts in front of other people. So for now, we’ve decided to do a complete “only us” destination elopement. We’ve talked about it with family and they’re cool with it, although I think a few people are expecting a “we’re married” celebration in our area afterwards. We haven’t made any decisions about that part yet, but I’m not opposed.

I’m also toying with the idea of “parents only,” which would be less awkward for my mom, but if my dad finds out then that’s another stressor/headache. Also this doesn’t get around the awkwardness of reading vows in front of others. So probably sticking with just the two of us + party later.

Maybe you could have an elopement and then have a casual celebration afterwards and invite everyone to that? Or if it’s really important that some people be there, if I were you I’d invite both sisters, and if only one of them can come, then so be it, but at least the other knows she was invited. Unless you have some sort of animosity, then idk what to tell you.

Post # 17
365 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
evelyn3thyme :  My FH and I are going through something similar. We decided on a traditional/non-traditional wedding. Everyone will be there to help us get ready, take family photos, etc. They’re going to see us off and we’ll go up to get married in a private ceremony, and then come back down to a reception with friends and family. It’s a win-win!

Post # 18
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

We had a lunch with my husbands parents, two of his aunts, my grown children and a couple of really close friends and surprised them by getting married! we had also arranged afternoon “drinks and nibblies” for a bunch of other friends that afternoon. In the end we had an awesome day that went well into the night and noone was upset. They all got to celebrate with us

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