Post # 1
I have lurked on here for some time now, and my fiancé and I have been engaged since the beginning of sep. We have been together for five years now, and he is the perfect man. I can’t wait to marry him!
My question is to those of you who eloped. Did you regret it? We have been considering eloping because finances are tight as well as family issues. We are not religious but our families are. There are also lots of divorces/remarriages (including his dad marrying a girl my age, who we both dislike greatly). My mother wants me to invite family members that in the past have stated “If you ever marry him, I will stand up and protest the marriage!” Also there are about 8 severely mentally handicapped family members (that are loud), who would not be able to sit through a formal ceremony (no matter how short), let alone a reception. Neither of us want dancing, we are both introverted so we would have a very small wedding party, and we don’t like cake. And his whole side practically hates weddings. All they do is complain about the food and are the first ones to leave any wedding we have attended.
So is there a point of us having a traditional wedding ceremony? I know my mother would be extremely hurt if I didn’t have one, but it just doesn’t seem like it would be worth the money and the stress. Instead we would love to fly somewhere, have a private ceremony, and hire someone to do wedding portraits afterwards (then maybe a potluck after the honeymoon??).
So what do you bees think? Elope or suck it up and try to make the best wedding possible?
Post # 3
Wow that sounds stressful. I have a somewhat similar situation- we aren’t interested in spending a ton of money on a big wedding that we wouldn’t really even enjoy- we aren’t into dancing either. On top of that, our families just clash… haha.
I don’t know what we will do yet, but I know we won’t have a traditional wedding. Do what makes you and Fiance happiest and what makes the most sense for you. Maybe talk to your mom and explain to her that you’ve thought a lot about it, and a traditional wedding just isn’t for you. She will understand eventually. I know it’s hard because you don’t want to disappoint people that you care about, but it’s you and FI’s lives and wedding, and you need to do what will make the two of you happiest.
Maybe you could elope somewhere and then have a celebratory dinner for close friends and family when you return?
Post # 4
my only concern with eloping to Paris is that legally you have to live there for 30 (or was it 40) days for the marriage to be legal – having just returned from Paris i also think there might be a equally beautiful place closer to home unless you have a life long dream to visit there
we eloped and dont regret it at all as the day was relaxed fun and memorable and for us we wanted a day to be only “us” – i understand this isnt for everyone, we did have a after wedding party that was low key without the stress of a formal event
Post # 5
I think I would regret eloping, but that’s just me. I’m close to my Mum and I know she would be really disappointed.
Post # 6
I say Lake Tahoe for the reason @eloping said and because it’s cheaper, and you said money was tight. Plus, Lake Tahoe is beautiful, I love it there!
We aren’t eloping, but boy do I wish we were. I say go for it based on your post. 🙂
Post # 7
@eloping: As far as Paris is concerned we would be “legally” married here, and say our written vows over there (and get all gussied up). I have traveled quite a bit outside of the US, but my fiance hasn’t and he wants so badly to travel abroad (really wants to go to France). It would be neat for both of us to start our lives outside the US considering we want to make travel a priority 🙂 But Lake Tahoe has lots of significance for us as well.
Post # 8
We haven’t eloped, but regularly wish we had.
Post # 9
@winerygirl: If you don’t mind me asking, is there any particular reason you wished you had eloped?
Post # 10
Seriously, go for it. Everyone has their own idea of what a wedding should look like, and you should have the one that you want.
Post # 11
Paris sounds so romantic! If I were eloping, Paris would be on the top of the list.
Fiance and I have thought with all the money we’re going to spend on the wedding we should just sign the papers fly to Paris instead.
Post # 12
I would defintely elope under those cirumstances. If people are going to end up complaining anyway, you might as well get a fabulous romantic getaway out of it. I think the pictures in Paris would be amazing.
Post # 13
If you eloped in Paris, it could also be your honeymoon! win-win.
Post # 14
I loved my wedding…but I would totally elope if I had your circumstances. What I really loved about ours was the feeling of love from our families. If they had been whining about the food…not so much. I say travel to Paris and bask in the glow of the love between the two of you!
Post # 15
Could you have just a small, pretty ceremony with just your parents and closest friends(as in 20 people max)? Or invite your parents to Tahoe if you marry there so they have the opportunity to witness your ritual of dedication if they like? No matter what, it should be what you want, and if you’re not religious, I don’t think your ceremony needs to be. If you kept it small, you wouldn’t feel pressured to invite extended family, and you could still have a few sweet touches to look back on years from now.
Post # 16
It sounds like you question whether or not you would regret eloping-so, perhaps you’d like to have an intimate (close family & friends) wedding? Could that happen with no hard feelings from others? Could it be an intimate destination wedding in Lake Tahoe? with a Honeymoon in France?