(Closed) eloping…does this bother anyone else?

posted 7 years ago in Elopement
Post # 17
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MsGinkgo:  You are not alone! Someone remarked on how they wanted a first look at their elopement and I said something to the effect of, “you’re eloping so it is just you two… why do you need a first look?” and I was corrected for being oblivious to the fact that elopements are now planned events.

WHAT? It’s not an elopement if you are INVITING people and planning it.

Glad I’m not alone.

Post # 18
Member
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Doesn’t bother me. We had considered eloping at one point and honestly we weren’t planning on telling anyone – just doing it and telling them afterward. But I don’t really care if someone tells me of their plans to elope or not. Doesn’t affect me either way.

Post # 19
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I sort of agree?  Eloping doesn’t seem to mean secret any more.  But I do agree that it should be just the couple.  It’s not an elopement if your parents and best friend go with you.

 

Post # 20
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I tend to call my wedding an “intimate wedding” but sometimes “eloping” slips out.  I don’t think it’s a huge deal, though, everyone knows what I mean.

Post # 21
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It doesn’t bother me for two reasons:  1. it is just a word,  I mean I’m having a small wedding, but there is isn’t a consensus about what that is either.  2. more often than not it’s used as a statement of feeling.  I’ve floated the idea before and usually it’s because of the frustration with the whole formal planning process.  When I see elopement mentioned it seems that rather than a desire to escape people, it’s more a desire to escape things/tradition/drama.  The idea is to run away and put the fun and the feeling back into it.  That isn’t an elopement by the strict definition, but maybe it’s time to expand the definition.

Post # 22
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Elopement… as in running away in secret without parental consent

Would definitely be the “traditional” definition… based on a time when Parental Consent was paramount… and most people got married in a Church in front of God, Family, Friends and the entire community

In the 21st Century… a lot of that has changed.

What hasn’t changed is some people CHOOSE to run away to marry just the two of them

“Go down to the Courthouse” – “Visit the JOP” – “Run away to a foreign country” – “Marry on a Beach”

All involving in many cases JUST 2 PEOPLE

Which is a BIG PART of what Elopement implies

And the modern interpretation of the world also shows that the couple is making a CHOICE most of the time to also not be part of the BIG Wedding Industry machine for whatever reason 

(Lol at 50+ I sure as H3LL didn’t need anyone to tell me I could or couldn’t get married, and neither do other Brides in their 20s, 30s, or 40s, who choose to also do these types of Weddings)

In reality, the Wedding World hasn’t caught up with modern times…

In so much as they haven’t conjured up a particular word as of yet to describe these getaways (running away from the norm) … so for now Elopement is the one that fits.

Lol, I’m guessing you’d not like my Wedding Description…

Mr TTR and I are Encores and Older (50s & 60s) we chose to marry just the two of us on a Beach in the Florida Sunshine miles and miles away from the cold Christmas air of Canada

We refer to our Wedding as an Elopement to a Destination Wedding.

Elopement cause there was just 2 of us.  Destination Wedding cause it was in a sunny locale.

Until the Wedding Industry comes up with a different description, when I type here on Wedding Bee and don’t wish to write out a whole para each time to explain what we did and why…

Elopement to a Destination Wedding is it.

(sorry)

 

Post # 23
Member
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@RunsWithBears:  You need witnesses though, my bear friend. That’s why my parents are coming at least. I don’t want some random hotel employee to watch my ceremony and witness it, lol.

Post # 24
Member
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@LilRhodyGem:  I think (and correct me if I’m wrong) you are talking about me. I explained that first look pictures often look better than walking down the aisle pictures and that I wanted to capture our expressions with no other distractions. I want my hair and make-up to be fresh and I want a moment with my husband before we exchange the vows we wrote.

Even if you elope, it does require some planning. You need a dress (or at least clothes), somewhere to do it, some way to get there, etc. I think elopements have involved and I see nothing wrong with including witnesses and having a first look (especially when pictures are your focus for the entire event…if I may call it an event).

Post # 25
Member
3723 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@MrsPanda99:  I can’t remember who made the remark but you may be the lady I was referring to. … First look pictures are pretty great compared to the stiff, walking-down-the-aisle shots.

Post # 26
Member
9680 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@LilRhodyGem:  I’ve seen beautiful first look pictures on the bee! I really want that moment. Now, I will just have to tell my man to practice his awed, admiration face 😀

Post # 27
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think let the bride do what she wants call it what she wants … i mean really we all have our own lives why worry about the word someone else discribes there big day as dont sweat the small stuff right leads to a happier life 😀

Post # 28
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

eloping, planned elopement, intimate wedding – whatever works for the bride and groom.  If it’s not your wedding,

Post # 29
Member
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@MrsPanda99:  +1

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@MsGinkgo:  On Offbeat Bride, they talk a lot about how this term is evolving; I’ve seen it touched on in quite a few posts.

As we progress into this process, we are giving serious thought to just going somewhere by ourselves…but some people will be aware,  because not letting them know up front would really upset them.

Should we decide to junk our current plans, we’d want to get married out of the country…which involves red tape we’d rather not mess with. So, we’d get legally married (or “legalled”) here in the states and say our vows somewhere else. If we went that route, we’d let my FIs parents know so they could come to the courthouse if they wanted and felt included that way. In their eyes and the eyes of the law, we may already be legally married, but we’d consider our “elopement” to another country to be the real deal 🙂

Post # 30
Member
2240 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, it can be annoying. I think they just aren’t aware that what they’re really doing is having a ‘private ceremony’. If more people knew what it was I’m sure they’d use that term instead. 

Post # 31
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

who the eff cares?! just be happy and let others be happy! (just my 2 cents) 

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