(Closed) eloping…does this bother anyone else?

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 77
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@MsGinkgo:  yeah I agree but I think the definition has changed

Post # 78
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@MrsPanda99:   Is there something wrong with saying “small wedding” or “destination wedding” ? If you elope you head off in secret (maybe tell 1 person to have a witness), usually spur of the moment and come back and tell everyone. No showing the ring, no announcing a date, you pick a dress you do not scour bridal shops. I agree with the poster who said, it seems like some brides want all the attention without hosting a wedding.

Post # 79
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

When I hear the word “elopement”, I always think of a city hall/courthouse wedding with just one or two witnesses. But it can mean a lot of different things, I’m thinking.

Post # 80
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@Aquaria:   small marriage ceremony (unless you went out after), if there was dinner with family/friends, champagne, cake or whatever then it is a small wedding

If you elope there is no one to let anything slip, because it is a secret/suprise. You, Fiance and the witness you bring are the only ones who know. The witness is not given “notice”, an elopment is not an event

Post # 81
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

I feel that it’s a bit hypocritical to not like the term “eloping” being used for anything other than a traditional elopement, but then to say that you’re going to Paris for a two-week “honeymoon”, rather than spending the month (i.e. one full moon) after your wedding drinking mead (i.e. honey wine) daily to promote fertility (or other similar activities involving honey and the moon, I know there are varied theories on the genesis of this term).  If we’re refusing to allow language to evolve, then a holiday to Paris is no more a “honeymoon” than an intimate destination wedding is an “elopement”.

ETA: Please note that I started this post with “I feel”.  It’s okay if you feel differently!

Post # 82
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I think you are taking it to the extreme and I hope to God you realize that. If you actually think that because some of us think that using a word, when it is appropriate and when its meaning matches what the person/people are going to do is the equivalent to suggesting that we observe traditions from ages ago that are no longer relevant then I don’t know how to even have this conversation. People eloped in the 1950’s, 60’s, ’70’s and so on, no one is talking about something that last occured in 1820. Do people just have a love of this word? If you had a private ceremony or a small ceremony, then say so! Can I call my wedding a destination wedding? My apartment is in east york but the reception is in downtown Toronto. Both are part of the GTA but since my destination is 10 minutes from my apartment I want to call it a destination wedding!! How ridiculous would that sound? Would you be saying language evolves in that situation?

Post # 83
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

@EncoreBridetoBe:  I’m definitely taking it to the extreme, and for the record I would say that I am having a small family ceremony and then going on honeymoon.  However, I’m not going to get annoyed about others using a word in a way that respects an evolved definition of the word.  The purpose of language is communication, and calling a small wedding an elopement in 2013 doesn’t hinder communication – we know what people mean nowadays when they say that.  Calling a wedding 10 minutes away from your apartment a destination wedding DOES hinder communication, as people will not understand what you mean.

Post # 84
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@JulietFoxtrot:  It does hinder communication, big time! If someone says they are eloping, I think “oh wow they must really trust me since this is an elopment!”. If they showed me “plans”, I would flat out tell them, “you are having a private ceremony, eloping is not something you plan”. So yes it does hinder communication if *you* say a word and I interpret it as the actual definition of the word, and not what *you* want it to mean or how *you* have decided to change/expand the definition

Post # 86
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@JulietFoxtrot:  That is fine. I am not convinced of anything you’ve said either.

Post # 87
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

The term doesn’t bother me. 

How many people actually “run away and get secretly married without their parents’ permission” anymore? This is not the 1700s! 

When I see that word in a modern context, I think of 2 people getting married without having a wedding. I personally think it’s a little weird to call it eloping when you’re spending thousands of dollars on a bunch of wedding-y bells and whistles without having any guests, but I don’t get my panties in a bunch about it. 

I was going to have a wedding but we can’t afford it. We decided not to have one anymore. We’re just going to do it at the town hall on a weekday and maybe go stay at a B&B for the weekend or something. I have to tell my mom because I don’t want her to buy a plane ticket but no one else really needs to know and I’m not sure if we’re going to tell them about it. Either way, I don’t think “elopement” is a totally inappropriate word for that. It might not fit the literal dictionary definition anymore but people will know what we meant.

Post # 88
Member
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@EncoreBridetoBe:  You can think whatever you want. You have no right to make judgement calls on me. I could give a fuck less for attention and unless you know my family situation then I don’t see how you think you’re in a place to determine if it’s appropriate for me to include my dad.

Also, why people are fussed over how other people speak is beyond me. Not only is it none of your business, but I would assume you have enough going on in your life that you don’t need to worry about mine…especially given we’ve never met. 

Post # 89
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@MrsPanda99:  What? I ASSUME this is for someone else because I do not know you or your dad. My issue is with the misuse of “eloping”

Post # 90
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@MrsPanda99:  My only response to you was MrsPanda99:   Is there something wrong with saying “small wedding” or “destination wedding” ? If you elope you head off in secret (maybe tell 1 person to have a witness), usually spur of the moment and come back and tell everyone. No showing the ring, no announcing a date, you pick a dress you do not scour bridal shops. I agree with the poster who said, it seems like some brides want all the attention without hosting a wedding.

 
I see nothing about your father! So, to be frank, if you intend to read in to my post that simply says if it is a small private ceremony call it that not an elopement, then to use YOUR words “I don’t give a fuck”

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