Post # 1
I am sending out an email to request current contact information from our guest so we can start sending out the save the dates. In order to not received duplicate emails I was thinking of sending it to only one spouse for couples. Is that weird or okay?
Also I was wondering for people you are not sure if you want to invite yet is it okay that they don’t recieve a STD and maybe just an invitation later? This is a destination wedding so there is my concern.
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I think sending it to only one half of a couple is fine. And it is also fine not to send a STD, but then send an invite. STDs are only for people you really really know you will want to invite.
Post # 4
Just be aware that it is possible if someone receives and STD and someone else doesnt (say close friends or cousins etc) then it could cause some confusion etc, but if there is no risk of this no worries.
(The same way it would cause problems with the actualy invitation “What you mean so and so isnt invited?!?1”
Post # 5
We were thinking of adding a comment to the email we send out saying that the wedding is going to be small so please be discrete. Thank you both for your opinion.
Post # 6
I think adding the comment about being discrete will be wise as it would avoid anything being said to persons you are not sure of but might want to later invite
Post # 7
1. Not weird.
2. Completely fine not to send STDs to everyone. (As I understand it, it’s even correct to only send them to the definites on your list.)
Post # 8
That could be difficult with a mass email. If I got the email but my husband did not, and it did not directly state that he was invited, or that couples were invited together, or something similar, then I would assume he wasn’t invited. For some people, that leads to resentment, the couple making alternate plans, awkward phone calls about people you really didn’t want to invite, etc. I’d just send the email to everyone and have a paper checksheet near the computer to highlight or check off people who get back to me.
Also, just sending an email for STD – why would it matter about duplicate emails? Because they’re not official invitations, so you’re not collecting RSVPs, just informing them about the event.
I say send it to everyone you know you want to have there!
Post # 9
I was just updating my address book ecently, not even for wedding things, and sent out a bunch of emails just saying that and asking to verify the info I have, or to fill in the blanks. Everybody answered and nobody questioned it, so you don’t really have to mention weddings at all.
Post # 10
I would probably send the email to both, just to be sure they get it?
This may sound crazy but my FH only checks his personal email every few months. We have missed things before because his family only emails him, and he doesn’t see those emails very often.
Post # 11
I think it’s fine to not send STDs to “B” list guests, however it’s rude to ask for their address then not invite them. I was twice asked for my address by two different BMs via group emails for someone’s wedding and I never was invited. I didn’t expect to be before they asked for my address and I didn’t care when I wasn’t because I don’t like the girl however I found it very rude and in extremely poor taste.
Post # 12
@kerensa: Great point. My FI also would not get the info, and nor would I if it was sent to his email. He checks maybe like 1x a year. He checks his work email constantly. He’ll ignore his personal email messages from absolutely everyone. If I need him I have to email his work address LOL.
Post # 13
Hm… what about not doing a STD? If you’re trying to keep it small; what’s stopping them from posting your STD on your fridge and word getting it out that way? if its a small close wedding; caling and requesting them to “save the date!” should suffice?