(Closed) Embarassing! What would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would not invite her. It is your night with your girlfriends…she does not need an invite.

Post # 4
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sounds like she could be Megan from Bridemaids 🙂 Don’t really have advice, but just wanted to throw that out there!

Post # 5
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d invite her….not for her feelings but for your brother and nephews sake.

Post # 6
Member
51 posts
Worker bee

I say invite her. Even if her relationship is “on the rocks” wih your brother it doesn’t change the fact that she is the mother of your nephew and will behim your life forever, regardless of their relationship status. 

Post # 7
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Two years is awhile and more than just getting knocked up. I think you should invite her but maybe leave the judgements at home.

Post # 8
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

don’t invite her. It’s YOUR night! Theres a reason why you don’t invite your whole wedding guest list to your showers and bachelorette party. If you don’t want her there…don’t have her there. Especially, since it’s going to be a casual sort of thing.

Post # 9
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

Its your night, your friends, and if she annoys you every time you see her when its a simple day at someones house, imagine how it would be when its a party with YOUR friends on YOUR night, before YOUR wedding. She doesnt matter. Dont invite her.

Post # 10
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m not inviting my SIL or my FI’s sisters, my FI’s brother’s gf’s (I don’t have any sisters).  I think unless you are close with them, the bachelorette isn’t really a party to invite family (I think of your brother’s gf as part of the family category, though I know she technically isn’t).

You should invite who you want to invite.  She can come to the shower and the wedding.  That is plenty.  And really no one needs to bring it up around her and it won’t be much of an issue.  It’s the Bachelorette not the wedding!!!

 

 

Post # 11
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Like everyone said, it’s your bachelorette party.  You get to decide your guest list, not your mom.  If your brother’s gf makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s best not to invite her.  She’s invited to the bridal shower right?

Post # 12
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

In your shoes I would not invite her. My friend is having a bachelorette party this week and she kept her guest list very limited because this just isn’t an event that people who aren’t close friends should be in attendance to. And that does include some family member’s of hers. 

Post # 13
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would not invite her and don’t talk about details of the bachelorette party with your family, lest Mom take it upon herself to let this woman know what is happening! It is your night and you should not feel like you will be embarrassed by a guest.

Post # 14
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Your mom is right, but it seems like there isn’t much, if any, relationship to salvage anyways.

If you don’t invite her, she will be upset.

If you do invite her, you will be upset.

HOWEVER… what if it was laid out that your sister was put in charge of the guest list (since she is hosting) and totally “forgot” to invite SIL? If the host is willing to go along with that, it might be a good way to get out of it and not take the blame. At the same time, then your sister gets in trouble….

Post # 15
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@takemyhand:  Great idea!  Ask your sis to take the fall.  That there had been a miscommunication. 

Here’s the deal, I am normally not sneaky like this – I’m a meet it head on kind of girl – but I also know a couple socially awkward folks and I don’t think you have time to sit her down and talk with her about appropriate behavior.  Even if you did, she would be even more awkward because she would be worried about acting out.  OR she would be so offended by the talk that she would purposefully act out at the event. 

On the other hand, she’s socially awkward.  She might come to you directly and ask why she hasn’t rec’d her invite yet. What will you do then?  Best to be prepared.

 

Post # 16
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

My first insticnt was to say invite her. Then I thought about it and realized my brother’s girlfriend (of like 5 years) was not invited to my bachelorette party. My Maid/Matron of Honor asked me for email addresses and I don’t even know hers so it never occured to me to include her. I did include my cousin’s wife who has been part of the family for Darling Husband and my entire relationship but I am pretty sure she never responded to the invite according to my Maid/Matron of Honor so I have no idea what her deal was. In the end I was super happy to have a small group of close friends present. However since your sister is inviting some of her friends/mutual friends, I think I would have to stick with the advice of inviting your bro’s girlfriend. It seems like she is in your family for good and excluding her will only make things worse. If she is behaving inappropriately, your friends will know that it is her and not you and she will only embarrase herself. Maybe being in a group where no one encourages her awkard behaviors will help her realize she should not be showing off her scars in public.

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