- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
@Mrs.Metalm: So, first off I should present my bias: I have a hard time with socially awkward people. I mean, everyone is awkward sometimes, but the kind of consistent behaviour you’re describing actually makes me really uncomfortable/annoyed/angry, you pick. I am now related to some people who are socially awkward and I think that they use this as an excuse to engage in behaviour that’s not acceptable and, occasionally, mean. It doesn’t seem like you’re dealing with someone who has no filter (in that they say awful things), so that’s a blessing.
That being said, I think that you have a couple of options here. First of all, you can keep the guest list so small that not inviting her isn’t a big deal. I’d say anything under 10 people would qualify. So, your closest friends…and, if you go this route, I’m not sure if I’d invite other “extended” family members, just to keep the lines “clean”.
Second, go ahead as planned and deal with the fall out…and there probably will be fall out. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing, because there should be consequences for anti-social behaviour, but this person is going to be in your life forever because of your nephew. I agree with
Third, you invite her and decide that you are not responsible for her behaviour…at all. Perhaps give a quick warning to your friends, but disengage that night. You can’t control her and her behaviour does not reflect on you (really!). If you can get to the point of not caring, this might be helpful when dealing with her normally. If anyone says anything, you can just say “I wanted to include her because she’s the mother of my nephew and my brother’s gf” full stop. This is super classy, but also super difficult.