(Closed) Embarassing! What would you do?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Mrs.Metalm:  So, first off I should present my bias: I have a hard time with socially awkward people.  I mean, everyone is awkward sometimes, but the kind of consistent behaviour you’re describing actually makes me really uncomfortable/annoyed/angry, you pick.  I am now related to some people who are socially awkward and I think that they use this as an excuse to engage in behaviour that’s not acceptable and, occasionally, mean.  It doesn’t seem like you’re dealing with someone who has no filter (in that they say awful things), so that’s a blessing. 

That being said, I think that you have a couple of options here.  First of all, you can keep the guest list so small that not inviting her isn’t a big deal.  I’d say anything under 10 people would qualify.  So, your closest friends…and, if you go this route, I’m not sure if I’d invite other “extended” family members, just to keep the lines “clean”.

Second, go ahead as planned and deal with the fall out…and there probably will be fall out.  I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing, because there should be consequences for anti-social behaviour, but this person is going to be in your life forever because of your nephew.  I agree with 

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@WillyNilly that the possibility of her asking you where her invite is (probably while in front of a lot of people), etc. is high, so you should be prepared for that.

Third, you invite her and decide that you are not responsible for her behaviour…at all.  Perhaps give a quick warning to your friends, but disengage that night.  You can’t control her and her behaviour does not reflect on you (really!).  If you can get to the point of not caring, this might be helpful when dealing with her normally.  If anyone says anything, you can just say “I wanted to include her because she’s the mother of my nephew and my brother’s gf” full stop.  This is super classy, but also super difficult.

Post # 18
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would not invite her and not even think twice about it

its not like you are not inviting her to the wedding.  Its your fun girls night out with your girlfriends, really dont need to invite her at all, infact if shes not your friend I dont see why you or your mom would even think about inviting her?  

She is not your friend, she is your brothers girlfriend, really its not a big deal, she probably wont even think twice about it!  

have fun and dont stress about it, this is about you not her 🙂

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