Post # 1
this is really embarrassing, but I honestly have never had a decent job before. I never worked. 🙁 i mean the most Ive done was substituting in a school, and yes being an assistant teacher in KG classses- but I never realy did anything cuz the schools I worked in isnt even that serious. My dad at the time owned the schools so it was like whatever, Just get myself busy, so i helped out. but never had a full time job, Im not lazy just never relied on working.. 🙁 And now because of this, its really buggging me. Im getting married soon and my Fiance said I might have to work- to help out and stuff, since were a couple and I totally understand that.. I mean call me old fashioned but many people I know, their husbands told them to not work and theyll take care of everything for them, but I KNOW that this isnt common anymore, and Im going to have to work to help support my family with my husband, and I dont mind.. but because Ivee never had a serious job Im scared I might fail, not find something suitable.. Im afraid of enetring the work place, and completely get tired- not maintain a good home and if we have kids, What if i dont look out for them and be the mother i wanted to always be, because im so busy working. Anyway, now im telling you guys this cuz I knwo there are many working ladies here so I know you will give me good advice and motivation..im not lazsy, im just worried.. Also, are there at homejobs I can look into when I bcome a mother? to still make money and take care of my kids?
I feel like a loser.. 🙁
Post # 3
You won’t fail. It’s just the fear of the unknown. Think of something you think you’d enjoy and go for it.
There are millions of people who work and raise children. If, in the future you find that it’s not working out then you always have the option to take time off or stop working. The choice is yours!
Post # 4
If you love kids have you considered getting the training and licensing to run your own at home day care? you could still be around your children and spend time with them while also allowing other families to give their children that “one on one” attention.
Don’t be scared! Their are plenty of admin jobs that you could do, even part time, that require no prior training and would still leave you with free time to be there for your kids.
Post # 5
I agree with the at-home day care idea or getting admin work. If you contact a temp agency they should be able to get you a temp job, and a high percentage of those jobs lead to a permanent position. I think working and perhaps starting a career could be a really good thing for you! You seem to lack confidence in yourself, and for many people a career can boost their self-esteem and allow them to establish an identity outside of their home/marriage. Don’t worry, an admin job won’t tire you out or make you unable to care for a family someday! Tons of women (and men) work very demanding jobs and still do a great job raising a family. I’m assuming you are young- you have plenty of time to worry about family and plenty of energy left for everything you’d like to do. Good luck!
Post # 6
First of all, don’t beat yourself up! You’ll probably find an entry level job that will help support you and your husband. Depending on the career, you may be able to switch into working at home when you have kids and are more settled/understand what the needs of the job are. I don’t know much about you (or really, anything) but start looking for administrative assistant work, maybe personal assistants. Or, since you’ve worked in schools in the past, see if there is a Montessori school or private day care you can work in. Many do not require education degrees or training.
Good luck! Remember when you interview to have a positive attitude and focus on what YOU can do for the company.
Post # 7
Maybe you could start somewhere part time to ease into the workforce. Like the PPs said, there are plenty of work-from-home jobs out there.
Post # 8
Don’t feel like a loser. I’ll admit: your situation is so far removed from mine that it is hard for me to relate. BUT, I do relate to the idea that a big life change can be scary. My biggest piece of advice would be to take it one step at a time. Instead of looking at it as a big ordeal – you have to get a job and you might fail, you don’t know what to do – ask yourself “what’s the next step I need to take to get a little closer to having the job that I want?”
For your situation, it seems like that would be deciding what kind of job you want. Clearly, your priority is your home, so I would look into jobs that allow flexibility and maybe work-from-home opportunities. Google it. I will caution you that as someone entering the workforce, it will be pretty hard (if not impossible) to find a decent paying job like that right away, but you can concentrate on entering a workforce that will eventually allow for that after several years experience.
After you get excited about the opportunity to do the job you want, look into what qualifications you need to actually be hired for that job. If it’s education, you have some more googling to do. If it’s experience, likewise. But take it ONE step at at time. You won’t fail if you are prepared for your job and excited about doing it. I know a lot of people who want to make a career change or move across country or go back to school and are paralyzed by fear because it seems like a HUGE project. It is, but you aren’t supposed to do it all today – just work on step one, then step two, and eventually it will all fall into place.
Post # 9
You are NOT a loser and you won’t fail!!! We all had to start somewhere. Think of something you love and start there. Kids – the daycare idea was a good one. There are also things like Mary Kay and Avon that allow you to make your own schedule/work from home. Do you like books? Try a bookstore. The thing is, you don’t have to choose your life’s path RIGHT NOW. Just find something you like and start there.
Post # 10
You wont fail. You do have to work at it though. It is hard sometimes to come home from work, make dinner, straighten the house back up, play with my son, go to the park with him, bath time, story time and get him to bed on time just to start all over again the next day.
You do it for your family, you do it for your child because that is what is best for everyone. He said that he wants you to work, he didnt say you had to become a CEO of some huge company. Work in retail, something like that. He just wants your help financially with supporting the family. It seems in your post that you think that it shouldnt be this way, but thats just how it is these days, sometimes you do need two incomes to survive. You can do it.
Post # 11
i have had a job since i was 14 but never a real job – i worked in a coffee shop and waited tables and made enough money to support myself. right before i met Fiance i started my first office job and i was super nervous. I had never worked in an office before and i didnt have the education (past highschool) to back it up – i felt insufficent – im going on 3 years here and its awesome. it really made me feel more like an adult – its nice to have a salary and your own health insurance.
i dream of being a stay at home mom but in reality, this day and age, its more rare to find stay at home moms and with the economy like it is 2 paychecks def help. My husband makes decent money and i truly believe ill get to be the stay at home mom i want to be (for a while) but i have always toldh im i would be willing and ready to work when needed, for we are in this together and its not his responsibility to take care of me. we take care of each other…but working.. It really makes you feel good about yourself. I started working here when i was 22 and it did wonders for my maturity and growing up. I finally felt like i was the adult i was becoming. 3 years later im loving my job.
you wont fail! working is very fullfililng. the scariest part to me (and still scares me) is the interview process…but talk to people..anyone and everyone… I really believe i got my job based on who i knew and my personality rather than my expereince. like i said i worked in a coffee shop and for 2 years these guys would come in every morning, when i expressed wanting to find a “real” job they brought me on, knowing i didnt have the expereince or education to back it up but they love me and i love my job! im good at it…i like knowing that i am bringing in an income to support our family in hopes that when we choose to grow our family we have some cushion in savings to allow me to take some time off from working.
Post # 12
You could think of this as an opportunity. I know that probably sounds kind of patronizing and idealistic, given that the economy isn’t so great and the “you can be whatever you want to be!” line is kind of old and tired. But it can’t hurt to be optimistic, right? Depending on where you live and what sorts of opportunities are available, you might have a number of options of things to try and find out what you like and what your strong points are. You can find out if you like working with adults, or with kids, or with something artistic… if you have good organization skills, interpersonal skills, etc.
I’m also facing having to balance my work life with home… and it worries me, too. But as PPs have pointed out, many many women do it. Keep good communication with your hubs-to-be about how to share the at-home work and take care of each other and your eventual kid(s) – so that if you both do have to work, you can do it and still be happy with your family life. Take it one step at a time – you can totally do it. 🙂
Post # 13
It’s always good to have a work history established, even if you end up staying home with kids further down the road. My father passed away leaving my mother a widow at 51 years old with my younger brother still in high school. Thank goodness she had gone back into the workforce when my brother started school or my family would have been in a really bad financial position. You hate to think of that kind of stuff happening, but it’s good to be prepared for any possibilty.
As far as working and maintaing a good home, make your husband help! My husband and I both work over 40 hours a week, so we both pitch in together.
Post # 14
I work for a staffing agency. I would recommend you go to one of those in your city. You might have to try a few of them! Different agencies have different specialties, usually! Like my office deals with clerical and industrial. I know some places only need temporary help, but sometimes we will have jobs that are temp to permanent. If you do a really good job. If you type well and are efficient with Excel and things of that nature then I think you might have a good shot at getting into a job like that, if you have good clerical skills. A lot of places use staffing agencies now. Instead of hiring directly. That way they can weed people out!
Post # 15
My advice would be not to focus on finding the “dream job” right away. Find a job that you don’t mind until the perfect job comes along. Good luck and I think it’s great you’re willing to help your Fiance with the expenses. It makes everything equal and a partnership.
Post # 16
Well Ive been doing a little soul searching haha, and I think you guys are right. I guess the best thing for one to do is to not JUMP right into anything and take it nice and slow. If I pressure myself so quickly ill wear out so soon and just hate working all together. So I decided that maybe my first 2 months or So I can look into working a customer service job- ( wether virtual or behind a desk at a work place ) – Or maybe look into becoming an independent agent, Ive read a lot about it- so well see. Get my self used to it, and in the mean time look around for a Nursery near by and get a part time there then work my way up to full time perhaps. Just taking things nice and slow would ease things up for me so much, espcially since not only working but marriage it self will be such a huge step. No need to have such a full plate soo soon in my life. So Im going to BREATHE lol.
Thank you all for your inputs! <3 xoxo!