Post # 1
I’m getting married in 29 days. I should be thrilled and excited and overjoyed, but instead I’m laying awake at night thinking of all the crap I have left to do. Where did all the time go? I’m looking at a ridiculous to-do list, and I’m trying to figure out how to get through it all in time, without going crazy, while also buying a house, graduating, and planning a move.
Unfortunately, Fiance has been throwing himself into my line of fire, by innocently asking, “hey, what if we had a chocolate fountain?” or trying to upgrade my camera-on-a-tripod-in-front-of-a-backdrop fauxtobooth into a full on computer-software-with-photo-printer contraption. So I’ve been snapping at him way more than is necessary, and now I feel bad about that too.
This morning I finally showed him my to-do list and said that if he wants to help with the wedding, he needs to help me take things off of the list, not add to it. He gets it, understands I’ve been putting in a lot more work than he has, and he’s being supportive. But after eleven months of reasonably relaxed wedding planning, I now can’t believe I’m laying awake at night, snapping at my loved ones, and literally ready to curl up in a ball and cry. It’s embarrassing.
This is just a vent, but anyone else have a similar story? Any advice for calming myself down? I just spent the last hour getting stuff done, so I feel a little better, but yikes.
Post # 3
awww, don’t be embarassed! it’s really, really, REALLY good that you showed him the list–he definitely should step in and help out. the very best thing my mother said to me throughout the entire planning process was about a week and a half before the wedding–she said she saw it as her job to get things off my plate. delegate, delegate, delegate! as much as you can! get as much as you can out of your hands so it’s not all on you.
Post # 4
Take another look at that to-do list and start killing things that really aren’t important. And don’t snap at your family and friends–ask them for help, nicely. You would be surprised how many people WANT to help. Our best man helped me jazz up the generic flower girl baskets when my DIY project failed.
Post # 5
Kudos for keeping the lines of communication open. I’m at the 9 month before mark and I am trying to get as much done now as possible and Fiance doesn’t understand why I keep getting frustrated about planning stuff now. He’s from the school of “Things will fall together” and I’m of the school “Things will fall together because I make them”.
Don’t forget to take a little time for yourself in this process. I know it probably feels like you are coming up hard against a deadline, and you are, but that doesn’t mean that every waking moment needs to be wedding. Take a deep breath, step back a moment and do something not wedding. Then come back, reorganize if necessary and keep talking your man. Let him know how he can help. If he’s anything like my guy, he’d help if he knew how (and I suck at delegating), so now that he’s seen your to-do list, pick something off of it, discuss why it is important to the wedding and have him do it. (The “why its important” talk is necessary in my household, and the “I’ve never planned a wedding so I don’t really know what’s supposed to happen” is NOT an excuse!)
Post # 6
Dude, weddings are stressful. And men just sometimes think it is a giant party like back in college and all you need to do is stop on the way to the party to grab pizza and beer. Uh…no.
Good on you for keeping everything open. It will all come together, you are now on the home stretch.
Post # 7
I did assign Fiance to make a music playlist for the cocktail hour. We’re having a DJ, but because of the different locations for the event, we’ll be using an iPod for the cocktail hour. Fiance has been working on it for about three days, stressing, and keeps asking me for reassurance. It’s cute that he cares so much, and it’s nice to know he understands a little bit of my stress. I know I’ll get there, it’s just that I’m not a nice person when I’m stressed, and I start to get angry at every single thing that adds to my plate, even when it’s not anyone’s fault. I’ve been working on calming myself down, and I appreciate all the helpful advice!