(Closed) Embarrassing/awkward question about birth control…

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Well, I haven’t had sex yet either, and will be on HBC, but just to reassure you from what I have read from other place, NFP works well for many,many people, but just like any other form of BC, only works if you do/use it correctly. I know somewhere on here there was a whole long thread about NFP with some good resources. 

Post # 4
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Obviously only abstinance is 100%, and there will always be SOME degree of risk with sex, but I would feel pretty darn safe about it with that method.

Post # 5
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Have you ever considered the non-hormonal, copper IUD/Paragard? That may be another option.

Post # 6
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Nothing is fool proof.  Someone I know, got pregnant 3 days after their period while on HBC and using condoms. Yes, the risk is low, but anything can happen.

Post # 8
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Well, there’s ALWAYS a risk of pregnancy, even with tubes tied and vasectomies.  That’s how my two cousins were born! ๐Ÿ˜‰

IMO, do what you can to prevent it by whatever method works well for you.  But, honestly, the only true way to be 100% sure you won’t have a baby is to abstain and/or have a hysterectomy. 

I hope that doesn’t come across as harsh, but it’s all I can think to help you!  No matter what you choose for BC, there’s gonna be risk of getting pregnant.  It sucks in your case, but it’s just how it goes.  So, you’ve got 2 choices:

#1 — Continue what you’re doing (which sounds like you aren’t really digging..which I TOTALLY understand)

#2 — Find a method of BC that you and your partner are comfortable with and accepting that there’s a risk of getting pregnant and doing whatever you can to minimize that risk.

 

Darling Husband and I use 2 forms of BC (hormonal and condoms) and we’ve found that using 1 primary, and 1 as a backup really gives us more peace of mind.  We aren’t ready for kids either… buuuut we like sex, so that’s what we do. ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Have you ever considered an IUD?  It’s not all natural, but it’s a once and done thing, and I hear you kind of forget about it.  One of them doesn’t have hormones in it either, it’s all copper, so that may work with your intolerance to hormonal BC.

Post # 9
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sorry, I’m in the camp of if your that freaked out about sex/getting pregnant than you shouldn’t be having it. NFP isn’t fool proof and things can happen. Charting isn’t always the most accurate and your body can be unpredictable at times. Sometimes your body and charts can show all signs of ovulation and whoops it happens later or even prematurely. You should talk to a doctor in all honesty. There are so many options out there as far as condoms for people with sensitivity issues, low hormone birth control etc. If it were me and I was this freaked out I would be using something more than NFP.

Post # 10
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

IUD’s don’t always increase your bleeding and cramps… sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t.  It might be worth the extra pain and bleeding to be able to have sex freely…. maybe???

I think it’s worth it.  Sex is fun. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 11
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@itsasecret123:

Saw the update about your periods. Have you tried Nuvaring? It’s one of the lowest hormone based BC and it actually helps decrease your flow and cramping. I had heavy periods with horrible cramps due to Endometriosis and on the ring my period is super light like maybe 2 days and no cramping.

Post # 13
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@itsasecret123: Ah. I see.I could see where that would be a problem.

I do agree that nothing is fool-proof. A lady I work with had both of her children because of a failure in NFP.

You may try condoms along with these: http://www.vcf-contraceptive.com/ It’s a little piece of contraceptive film that you insert into your vagina 15 minutes before intercourse. I’ve used them before and had good success with them alone. They’ve never given me or Darling Husband any irritation and I have very sensitive skin.

Or possibly get fitted for a diaphragm or cervical cap?

Post # 15
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

This post is right up my alley, I was a safer sex educator in high school and college.

I’ve been on HBC for 9 years and having sex with and without condoms during that time period, with no pregnancies–and women in my family have proven to be quite fertile.  However, nothing is 100% besides abstinence.  Condoms are pretty effective, and usually work about 95% of the time to prevent pregnancies, as long as they’re used properly.  One thing about “pulling out” is that the man does have what is called “pre-cum,” which is sperm that come through before ejaculation.  So that’s not necessarily a good method of birth control (I’ve read somewhere around a 50% failure rate when used alone).  From what I have read, if you want as safe as possible without hormones, the copper IUD is the way to go.  I would seriously consider talking to your gynecologist about this.  They typically stay in your uterus for up to five years.  It works by irritating your uterus to the point where IF an egg is fertilized, it can’t implant into the uterine wall.  It also makes it so uterine lining doesn’t build up through your cycle so there’s nothing to implant to.  I’ve never heard of a pregnancy while using a copper IUD, and from what I understand it’s like 99.99% effective against pregnancy.  Ultimately, it’s a decision you would need to make with your partner and your gynecologist.

Ultimately, not having sex because you’re afraid of pregnancy isn’t the way to go, particularly if you’re getting bored of the usual repertoire.  There are a lot of alternatives to hormonal BC, and I think a trip to gynecologist is in order.  Good luck!

EDIT: I see what you said about cramps and the copper IUD.  I really think your best option is seeing a gynecologist.  See what they would have to say, and talk to her your partner.  

Post # 16
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@itsasecret123: AWW… yeah I could see why that would not be a good option then. 

Well… let’s see then….if it were me, I would ask Darling Husband for a vasectomy now, then if you decide you do want children down the road, there’s the possibility that he could have it reversed.

Or, alternatively, consider freezing some of his sperm if you don’t want to reverse it (success rate is good, but not awesome).  That involves IVF, and can get pricey, but, may be a good option in your situation.

ETA:  I should also add, I’m sorry you have a difficult time finding something that works well for you!!  I really sincerely hope you find something that works for both of you!

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