Post # 1
Hello, I usually post under another name, but I notice that people tend to really talk badly about other bees that have issues with their engagement rings so I am going undercover.
It all started when i saw a pic of my future SIL on Facebook and her engagement ring was on prominent display. Now this wasn’t ring porn nor was it the first time that I had seen her ring, in fact, it was a picture of her holding her son. Anyway, her ring looked huge! At that point, I started noticing my other friends engagement rings…and they are all big, at least one carat if not more. They all have solitaires and I have a 3 stone with a .75 center stone and a total carat weight of 1.61 carats. Now I am not saying that I don’t love my ring, because I do! My FH designed it himself, and for the first year of our engagement, I didn’t even notice other people’s rings.
So after I started noticing other peoples rings, I started going online to buy imitation engagement rings. I currently have 3, that i wear when I am not around my FH or when I am doing something that I don’t want my ring to be involved in (beach, housework, gym…). My Fh knows that I have one, because it is the one that I wear to the beach. The problem is that I am addicted to buying them! I am constantly looking on HSN or other websites for diamond imitations. I feel really guilty and I know this is wrong. I know that I should be satisfied with my real diamond engagement ring and that I shouldn’t care what other people’s rings look like.
I should also say that none of the women in my family wear their original engagement rings, my mom gets a new ring every couple of years and she rotates between them, she hasn’t worn the ring my father proposed with since I was a little girl. Some of the rings my dad has bought for her and some she buys herself. My grandmother has lost 5 engagement rings and now just wears whatever ring she wants on her wedding ring finger.
Maybe I just needed to vent, but does anyone else ever feel this way?
Post # 3
What about upgrading your ring on an anniversary? I used to work with someone who did that, and she ended up getting something completely different than what she had before.
Other than that, just remember, it’s not about the ring. It’s a symbol of love and commitment. And when it comes down to it, your ring is the best ever because it came from someone you truly cherish.
Post # 4
I think that naturally, we will alway have ring envy. You are not alone! I think that despite how much we love our rings and adore our FI’s for picking our rings for us (or if we picked out our own ring), we will always see others that look bigger, have a nicer design, etc. I think that the thing that I make myself remember is that there are other people out there who are envious of my ring!
Also, I once mentioned something about my ring my FI, and I could tell that it hurt his feelings – be provided me with a nice ring (it’s a solitaire, over 1 ct, very brilliant) and me even thinking about other rings inadvertently made him feel inadequate. After that moment, I decided that I just needed to realize when I was feeling envious and to check myself – what is most important is that I have an amazing partner in life!
Post # 5
I’m confused – what don’t you like about your ring? The size? Is it somthing else? If you are you buying cz rings and wearing them, anyone who knows you will know that its fake, also its fairly easy to spot poor quality diamonds, a cz stands out like a sore thumb.
Post # 6
Do you just like jewelry? or do you ust want a big ole diamond?
I’d lean towards being awesome right hand gemstone rings. I get a lot of compliments–at least as many as I do on my engagement/wedding set–on my large uniquely set topaz that i wear on my right hand.
Post # 7
The average size of an engagement ring center-stone in the USA is .38 cts.
And remember, quality is better than quantity. Color and clarity (as long as it’s “eye-clean”) don’t matter so much… But cut does! Give me a well-cut diamond anyday over a larger poorly-cut diamond.
I actually decided against getting a bigger center stone. I thought I wanted 1+ ct until I tried some on; they overwhelmed my hand (my ring size is 3.75). I decided on a .6 ct stone (color G, clarity SI1, Ideal cut).
Post # 8
Wow, really? A sore thumb? That’s nice.
I myself honestly cannot tell the difference between cz and most diamonds. If you can, then more power to you, but I really do NOT think your comment was necessary or in any way constructive.
Post # 9
Well, obviously we know now that some people can spot a fake (i.e. CZ) ring instantly, and others, like me, can’t. I, personally, would rather wear a real diamond than a CZ, so if I were to buy a fake (to wear on vacation, for example, or at the beach/pool), it would be important for me to know that some people could spot a CZ immediately. I wouldn’t want that! So I’d go with something else instead. So yes, it was a constructive comment. It was not an attack on the OP.
@lala: obviously you come from family where changing the ring is the norm, and that’s ok! I would either be honest with your fiance about your desire for variety, though, while reassuring him that you truly love your ring, or go with ejs’s idea of exploring fabulous right hand rings. 🙂
Post # 10
Everyone I think looks at other peoples rings and occasionally has ring envy.Have you considderd the fact that perhaps the carrat size of your friends solitare may infact be similar to that of your 3 stone and it just looks bigger because she has just 1 stone?
On the CZ note I can never tell the difference either. Lots of people have lots of different types of stones in their e-rings to each’s own.
Post # 11
I didn’t say it was an attack on the O.P. – the op isn’t a cz. Plus, I meant “constructive” more in the sense of constructing a safe and happy environment. I was aware before that comment that some people can spot a fake – my point is that a cz doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb for many people.
That comment implied that cz = your grandmother’s paste ring, which really isn’t the case anymore. Also, people other than the OP read this thread, and comments like that probably don’t encourage brides with cz or other fake diamonds to feel comfortable posting about them etc. I am not trying to attack the pp who wrote that – it is just not the first time I have heard those sentiments on here and it got to me this time.
Sorry to get bent out of shape about it and to derail your thread OP – btw I think that you should get as many as you like! I would be upfront with your SO about it though – you’d hate to get caught forgetting to switch back, because he might take it the wrong way.
Post # 12
How do you know you can always spot a CZ? I mean some rings are obviously fakes, but how do you know some aren’t real? I have a friend who is a zillionaire and usually only wears fake jewelry. Most people gush on about her huge gorgeous rings, she just smiles.
Post # 13
I think it’s nice to have your engagement ring reflect your situation at the time of your engagement (i.e. if you’re not wealthy at the time, don’t take a loan to buy a giant ring). When you are in the financial position to afford an expensive piece of jewlery, why not get another ring to celebrate another event in your life (anniversary, first child, or job promotion). It will mean more, because you know you’ve gotten to a place where you can afford the purchase. Celebrate success 🙂
Post # 14
I personally can spot a CZ from a mile away! They just don’t have the same brilliance a real diamond has. I would rather have a very small diamond than a huge fake one. But that’s just me.
I think you should ask yourself what it really is that bothers you. Is it that you want people to look at your ring and say “WOW…look at her ring, it’s huge!” and feel a bit of ring envy, or is it that you just don’t like the design of your ring anymore? It’s at times like these, that you should focus more on what the ring symbolizes and maybe in a few years, when you have more means, you can get an upgrade…
Post # 15
@ Babilu – Same here. CZ stones are typically inexpensive and very large – thre is no way that they can share even close to the same fire and brilliance of a real high quality diamond. If the CZ stones are smaller, then I think it would be easier to pass off as real.
Personally, I like quality. Back to the OP though – what is it about the ring that you don’t like? Is it something that can be reset?
Post # 16
I have seen some really huge beautiful rings, but i am not envyous at all. My FH made mine for me with his own two hands and I don’t care if it ever gets a stone on it (which he would never allow because I asked not to have one). It is what the ring means, not the size of it.